Jun 04
Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: I was visiting my brother in Chicago. I showed him the site. Then we tried to complete the sentence on the cover of this book. Here are our efforts –
THE HERO…has his face stuck in a trash compactor!
…is wearing green gelatin!
…holds snowmen holding rifles in contempt!
…gets to have a double iris!
…has such kissable lips!
…was almost THE HEROT!
…looks like the dude from Aphex Twin!
…knows Christmas colors are the new teal and orange!
Published 2005
June 4th, 2014 at 10:00 am
…is the Dough-Boy in the background.
I mean, it’s Baen, they dude with the gun HAS to be the protagonist, right?
And what’s a ‘Posleen’? Is this a war about leprechauns vs space-mercenaries, again?
June 4th, 2014 at 11:20 am
The Hero… searching for somewhere to relax his face.
June 4th, 2014 at 11:29 am
Face number 1,001 for Joseph Campbell.
June 4th, 2014 at 11:33 am
This was an early draft cover for a Beatles biography. It didn’t make it.
June 4th, 2014 at 12:12 pm
As far as I can tell, “Posleen” are those conveniently evil alien hordes which give the “heroes” a convenient excuse to be violent and militaristic, and which only exist in Military SF.
June 4th, 2014 at 1:54 pm
Does having cat eyes make you an official cat person?
Is it a war against the posleen? Are the p, po, pos, posl, polse, poslee fighting the osleen, sleen, leen, een, en, or n? Is posleen a place, thing, concept, snack food, sitcom character?
June 4th, 2014 at 3:03 pm
I’m going with has such kissable lips.
Wait, wait, Wikipedia has an entry for posleen:
Posleen are a fictional alien race, created by the science fiction author John Ringo for his Legacy of the Aldenata series of books. The Posleen are a race of genetically engineered reptilian centaurs, supposedly designed by the long lost race – the Aldenata – to be the ultimate warriors.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posleen
I take back the kissable lips thing.
June 4th, 2014 at 9:02 pm
Should really be:
John Ringo
and
Paul George
June 5th, 2014 at 1:12 am
Ah, the Posleen! You may remember them from this game, I mean book:
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2014/03/gust-front/
June 5th, 2014 at 4:51 am
Half of a ‘Kubrick Stare’ is not half as intimidating. It is, however, totally ridiculous looking . I choose not to further contemplate the actual bone structure of the face which would lead to a possible mental image of the entire face .
June 5th, 2014 at 6:59 am
@Bibliomancer. Actual quote (last line) from the Amazon blurb for this book:
“The hero has a thousand faces, but is one of them the face of an elf?”
June 5th, 2014 at 11:26 am
@RachelJ — Time for me to hang it up when the Baen blurb writer is anticipating my snarky comments!
June 5th, 2014 at 3:35 pm
Is Aldenata like pasta al dente, only not as tasty?
June 5th, 2014 at 4:18 pm
@B. Chiclitz — Aldenata: not as tasty and harder to swallow.
June 5th, 2014 at 4:44 pm
@Bibliomancer – good to hear your voice. I thought you were awaiting moderation in the phantom zone.
June 7th, 2014 at 12:44 pm
It would seems that the universe the hero is in is actually named the “Universe of the Posleen War” since it’s all capitalized. Then again, “Science Fiction Adventure” is also in tile font so maybe it’s just a signal that what happens in this book is Important. At least to THE HERO and the man in the infrared scope about to shoot him…
@Bibliomancer – Kudos for the cultural reference. We need more like you.
June 11th, 2014 at 5:38 pm
Was there ever a weaker blurb than “Science Fiction Adventure…” — surely it was made to be read in the most monotone voice you can manage.
“Fantasy Adventure in the universe of Lord of the Rings”…
“Detective Adventure in the universe of Sherlock Holmes”…
August 7th, 2017 at 1:30 pm
♫ I need a hero… ♫
But not this one.
August 13th, 2021 at 10:23 am
Q: Why is the book titled “The Hero”?
A: Because the original title “Psychotically Smiling Killer Who Enjoys Mass Murder, Woo-Hoo!” was considered too crude – and too revealing.