Jul 01

Phoooarrrr.... I luv me a good horse I do... Click for full image

David G Comments: A nice montage of fun & ridiculous stuff on this cover!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.34 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Schimmelhorn File – Memoirs of a Dirty Old Genius”

  1. GSS Admin Says:

    Just a quick note about the servers. We are temp fixed, no idea how long it will last, so thought I should post just because. Going to really try and move to a new server this week.

    Cover note: Space sheep challenger? Click for full DIRTY OLD GENIUS cover!

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Let’s have a big hand for Burl Ives and his deeply personal interpretation of The Devil’s Rain.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Science? Or fiction? Yah, I’d hit that…heh heh heh..’

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I thought the hand looked familiar…

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    Yes, it all seemed so funny when that portrait was painted, didn’t it? Well you’re not laughing NOW Rolf, are you!

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    His horns are askew. The one on his left is entirely on his frontal bone, while the one on his right is rooted on the fronto-parietal suture. It’s more obvious when you look at their placement relative to the rest of his skull.

  7. fred Says:

    Lecher? The women must be on the back cover.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Does he have miniature women disporting on the back of that floating dismbodied hand?

    As I recall it, this was a load of Borscht-Belt schtick, tall tales in fractured English. I’m sure someone must have enjoyed it, once.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    …and that r looked familiar as well!

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And then there was the time when Satan had to replace Santa Claus to deliver presents to the planet of clockwork horses…

    Seriously, I like the covers that dare to be different.

  11. JRDelirio Says:

    “the greatest octogenarian genius lecher ever to hit the annals of science OR fiction”

    Yet it seems he was able to be “octogenarian” for just under a whole year… oh, wait: you say, it’s Schimmelhorn who was the octogenarian? Meh… there are quite a few old pervs in SF, it’s a crowded field.

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    Schimmelhorn just had a syringe full of skull-dope shoved in one ear and out the other. No wonder he is wincing.

  13. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    You know, this would be a lot funnier if there hadn’t been that recent Marion Zimmer Bradley thing and revelations about the creepy molester culture in science fiction conventions back then.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Alessandra: If you think about it, it’s so hard to do a good character who is defined by satisfying his/her single overriding drive.

    I point to, for example Wimpy from the old Popeye cartoons. He cannot think about anything except hamburgers. The desire for and the acquisition of hamburgers is the totality of his character. And he’s not funny. In Japanese samurai dramas, there are any number of characters who are so fixated on food that their actions perpetuate the week’s central conflicts. Because they exist only to advance the plot and have no more to their characters, most of them are tiresome, and others are so far beyond the pale I cannot watch their show.

    And you correctly point out the evil underpinnings of the ‘dirty old man’ character. Tat Wood over on the Amish Vampire thread mentioned ‘Rosie Dixon’. We could add any number of movies and television shows from the 50s, 60s, 70s…and, sadly, before and beyond.

    The one exception that proves the rule is the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. As everyone in the civilised world knows, Cookie Monster is a monster who exists to eat cookies. Yet he looks funny, with his googly eyes and wide mouth. He sounds funny, speaking in his own dialect with his gravel voice. Who wouldn’t want to try and eat a cookie like he does, with such glee? Just once?

    But the fundamental difference between Cookie Monster and other Johnny One-Notes is that we are always certain Cookie Monster is a good person. He loves and respects his friends. He is interested in things other than cookies and seeks out new experiences.

    And when he oversteps society’s boundaries he feels shame and vows to become a better monster. Are his efforts futile? Well, if we can find it in our hearts to forgive a thief or cheer on a recovering alcoholic, we can certainly find empathy for Cookie. It is our ability to empathise with his desires and fears alike that makes the Cookie Monster rise above competition.

    And, by way of conclusion, I’m not sure I feel anything worth using up bandwidth for Goat Scalp up there. Welcome Back, Alessandra! With out you and your insights, the server kept crashing. 😉

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alessandra, we could create a whole new blog titled
    “Unintentionally Creepy SF/F Covers”…

  16. Stevie T Says:

    @ A.R.–maybe that should be a new tag: “Unintentionally Creepy”.

  17. anon Says:

    I like the way the author’s name uses the same font as the title:
    “Memoirs of an old dirty genius Reginald Bretnor”

  18. FeárofMüsic Says:

    Seriously, who is that tag line supposed to appeal to? And if you are seen reading this, how do you explain why?
    “Well, you see, stories about young attractive perverts have been done to death. I prefer my mental image of sexual depravity to look eighty something. Please stop looking at me like that. “

  19. Beth Says:

    Looks like Robin Williams…

  20. Rev Says:

    Thats not Robin Williams, it’s Doug Mulray. Or Kevin Sheedy.

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