Nov 18

Looks like Keith is wasted again and trying to lick the billboards...Click for full image

GK Comments: Which direction is the monorail headed?
Published 1978

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)

Tagged with:

18 Responses to “A Plague of Pythons”

  1. Ian Sales Says:

    It’s Rimmer’s dad!

  2. Phil Says:

    So that’s where the idea for Arnold Rimmer came from, although he looks like Martin Kemp from Spandau Ballet/Eastenders in this configuration.

    And THE APPRENTICE (“you’re fired”).

    His hairnet of resistors and diodes is rather attractive, as is the disproportionately large monorail.

  3. Phil Says:

    PS: The artist should be congratulated for his restraint in NOT depicting the titular pythons. He must have foreseen that one day his work would end up being lampooned in a place like this.

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘Someone or something had taken over his body and Chandler was determined to find out who — even if he died in the attempt.’

    Yes, I remember that episode of Friends.

    For my taste, there aren’t enough ‘Someones’ and ‘somethings’ in that blurb. I’d rewrite it: ‘Someone or something had taken over something and someone was determined to find out something — even if he died in the attempt.’

  5. SI Says:

    Maybe he’s jealous because the guy on the billboard has a black jumpsuit!

    And I don’t know what’s wrong with that guys hair but he should ask his hairdresser about it.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Those diodes on his head bring new meaning to the term ‘Hair Net’.

    And, I suppose, we all know what language his coiffeur is programmed in…

  7. Anrkist Says:

    He’s a Picasso with a chalk board.

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Honestly now:
    my first (and lasting) impression is that a tiny monorail train is dragging an annoyed man in a yellow jumpsuit by his belt.

    “Someone or something had attached a small train to his body, and Chandler was determined to find out who — Tyco or Accurail!”

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Once more, Beat-ification of an inept blurb:

    Someone or something
    had taken
    over his body
    and Chandler was
    determined to find
    who even
    he died in
    the attempt

  10. Herm Says:

    That background of multicoloured novel pages is gorgeous. Why don’t pulp books have coloured pages like that any more? Anyone know?

  11. Don Hilliard Says:

    @Herm: The edge colors, once upon a time, actually had a purpose, and it morphed over the years. Originally (and briefly), it was a rough indicator of the genre of the book; red for mystery, yellow for general fiction or non-fiction and so forth, Over time, it became a color code to indicate the quarter (or maybe third) of the year in which a paperback was printed; since the vast majority of paperbacks in the US up into the 1980s were sold at newsstands, drugstores, groceries and so forth, the edge color was an easy way to tell how long a book had been on the rack if the retailer (or their stocking distributor) wanted to pull and return older merchandise.

    By the late ’80s (when I was working in retail book sales), only a few publishers were still coloring the edges of paperbacks, and it was always yellow; by that point it was basically a “prestige” thing, and it was pretty much gone by the early ’90s as a cost-cutting measure.

    My friends Tony Isabella and Bob Ingersoll (and their editor) had a bit of fun a few years ago with their Star Trek novel The Case of the Colonist’s Corpse, a mystery featuring the lawyer Sam Cogley from the series episode “Court-Martial”; the book had some deliberate echoes of the old Perry Mason novels, and Pocket Books went so far as to do at least the first print run with the classic red “mystery” edge coloring. (According to Bob, Pocket had a hell of a time trying to find a printer that still knew how to do the edge colors and still had the machinery to do it!)

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:


  13. FeâröfMusïc Says:

    Would this then be the prequel or inspiration for ‘Snakes on a Plane’?

  14. GSS noob Says:

    @Fear: I want these MF pythons off this MF monorail?

  15. Tor Mented Says:

    No one asked that the first time around. But it’s never too late.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: We saved it for you. Also, if we’re talking half-hour British comedy, it really is more “Red Dwarf”.

    @TW: Are Chandler’s feet in “booties”?

    Is Spandau Rimmer ordering the tiny monorail to drag Chandler away from the billboard? Could this BE any more embarrassing?

  17. Hammy Says:


    No, it’s much, *much* worse! Spandau Rimmer is pointing as if to say “Watch out behind you! That tiny monorail is headed right for your anus!”

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: “I know this much is…. OOOOH”?

Leave a Reply