@SI: well, I’m eating a meal. And after, I’m scheduled to practice my shouting. Later on, I plan to hold perfectly still, presenting my lumbricoid physique under a sheen of manly sweat, whilst nude trollops and hummingbird whales throw themselves at me simperingly and the unsheathed blade in my inexplicably metallic hand catches the fading sunlight and goes TING! Just in case a cover artist pops by, you know.
Really, I should have done that all earlier in the week, but things happen, you know.
I find it hard to believe that the technical documentation on a Cray supercomputer would be that small. Perhaps that’s just the company directory and he’s looking to call the IT manager … or finding someone to blame for having kicked the power cord out.
It’s what I’ve always liked about Cray: excellent user interface design. What other computer had cushioned seats integrated in its CPU? But really something you would only expect on one of those hilariously bad SF covers. Oh wait.
@Jaouad – Exactly! I loved Seymour Cray’s vision of, “If you are a paying over a million pounds for a computer, it has to bloody look amazing!” Don’t really make it like that anymore.
And Phil, under those seats are the power supplies and refrigeration units.I wonder if they did get nice and toasty!
@Alessandra – Yep! Looks like we are having problems restoring things… STILL. I tried whipping the server admin last night. Maybe I should have let him work instead.
And also Phil’s right. My photoshop skills are open for hire if any of you publishers are interested. I can put space sheep on any photo you want! For the right price that is. I accept booze as payment too!! 😉
It’s the rating system that’s down, Dave K. It’s one of the biggest things that keeps me coming to this site.
I hope that the wise minds at GSS are making good progress on getting the rating thingie up and running again. 🙁
Oh no! The eternal four-chord progression with a bridge to nowhere! Vibraphone included for free. I’d like to claim this formed the soundtrack to last night’s dream, but that wouldn’t be true. However, @ Mr. GSS Admin, I’m sure it will be haunting TONIGHT’S rem interludes. Thanksâ€”not! 🙂
I am not surprised at these “technical difficulties” Good Show Sir is currently experiencing.
I’ve spent years investigating GSS involvement in a vast international conspiracy. Latest events have given proof to my theory that Good Show Sir is a CIA front organization hosted on NSA computer servers in Utah! The purpose: to harvest contact lists and metadata of US citizens lured to its international webpage conveniently located at goodshowsir.co.uk.
Meanwhile at Chinese Good Show Sir reliable servers are no occident! Our staff of several thousand child programmers and tag wizards make sure the site never goes down. Because we never change the homepage!
*sotto text* fools! can ye no see the machinations of the illuminati! aye, they would suppress gss because of the merciless mocking of militancy yon fellow posters evince towards ‘the baenians’ aye, and there’ll be no mercy from such as those.
andbi’m thinking there might be avspy, aye a rat in our midst. it won’t be me as names names though.. i would never accuse, not i. i would never suggest it could be, say, someond claiming to be organic matter in a state of decay and possessing oversized… MESSAGE FORBIDDEN
Unfortunately it was discovered after the latest server failure that GSS Admin never bothered to back up any of the files. He is now scouring the local bookshops and re-photographing the missing 984 covers.
Tag Wizard had the foresight to make paper copies of all the comments but typing them back in will be taking longer than expected.
Nice to see the disembodied floating head of Professor Lewis again. We just don’t see him enough lately.
Sorry your sever is letting you down yet again, but this notification is, in many ways, more enjoyable to look at than many of the covers presented here.
A Kripslod is a device or tool that is both useless and dangerous (see the Easi-Eater from 1950’s Australia) I think your server might just count as a Kripslod, but only if it gives the techs massive shocks as they pass by it.
We warned you, yessss we did, about trying to ssssave a few poundsss by hiring a Tcho Tcho IT team. Yessss. Even a shoggoth knowss better. If you insisst on being so obsstinate I will be forced to send the Hounds of Tindalos to correct thisss matter.
Perhapsss I shall do that anywayss. When my laptop became infected with the ‘Colour from Space’ viruss after I foolishly tried to download the music of Erich Zann they had my computer back in form in no time. At quite a reasonable rate toi. Though for the sake of your soul you may want to keep an Elder Sign pendant upon you at all times.
It is indeed a sad time. Just yesterday, I observed three, apparently in all other ways, perfectly normal people standing in front of a news stand. They were mirthfully mocking the covers of the various periodicals. But it was a forced and strained euphoria brought on by wretched withdrawal.
This morning’s news brings reports of concerned and frightened parents from across the globe. It appears that many kindergarten-age children are being approached by strange and desperate adults requestingâ€”nay, imploringâ€”that they draw book covers with their little crayons and coloured pencils.
The mind is forced to see tragic visions of what might be. Respected Citizens forced to seek their wanton pleasure in libraries, bookstores, and art galleries, rather then in the dignified privacy of their own homes. The mind revolts at such revelations!
I must, with much revulsion, report that I too have felt an ever growing desperation. Just today, I found myself furtively entering my study and after securely setting the bolt on my door, I spent several minutes listing the deficits apparent in the cover of the â€œForty-First Edition of the Handbook of Chemistry and Physicsâ€.
The shame! To be brought to this low!
Come back, Good Show Sir! You are most truly and sadly missed!
I am sorry for your frustration and trust me, we are doing everything we can to force someone doing the bare minimum to do everything they can to do everything we need to do properly… at maximum level!
In the mean time please find attached a rough draft for the new Dr. J. R. Asimov cover.
I’m pleased to report that, â€œThe Incredible Journey of Timanus the Man Catâ€ is available on the Chinese Good Show Sir! Website. They just need your credit card, mother’s Maiden Name, the name of your first pet, and the bank and routing number of your checking account (or the exact location of the coffee tin you hide in your back garden)
On a more serious note, you realize since you can add a picture on your post you have hit upon the answer to your server problems. We can just use another web discussion site to show our examples of awful covers and comments about same. We could use http://math.stickenchange.org/ (I’m certain they will not mind. After all, who sits around discussing math questions anyway?
P. S. Please stay on the net! I was hoping you send you a copy of the cover of volume two of my science fiction series. I guarantee it is 210% pure anti-Baen!
Waiting your return with baited-breath,
Kripslod (and besides writing I’m very good at that math stuff)
After some dedicated statistical research (looking at two covers) I’ve established a correlation between when Good Show Sir posts a devil-themed book cover and severe “Technical Difficulties”. This happened a year ago after we mocked Devildayand just last week we just had our fun with the Devil’s Daughter.
These are the only two covers on the site with “devil” in the title. Wake up and smell the sulfur! GSS better stop messin’ with Beelzebub!
I am becoming greatly concerned about these ongoing ‘difficulties’, and have begun to suspect, although it pierces my heart to the quick to admit so, that there is indeed a greater and more nefarious conspiracy at play here .
I have it from the most unreliable and disreputable of sources that someone, who may or may not have any actual similarity to a certain GSS Admin, may or may not have been seen larking about Hounslow with a particular MP known to be of low character and questionable morals. Said parties in question were seen indulging in Chinese take away in the presence of a large group of Urban Fanrasy LARP enthusiasts while extolling the virtues of Cantonese cuisine and cosplay. Hints and allegations of an unseemly nature, which I shall not repear, lead me to believethat there is a secret connection between said parties and certain memmbers of the illegal and forbidden Uzbekistan Fantasy Writers Underground. Such a thing I need tell no one would be a colossal betrayal of all we hold dear.
I only pray that I am but as delusional as I appear to be. For the sake of us all.
@ FÃ«Ã¥Å—Ã¸fÉ¯ÅÅŸÄ±Ä Could this also involve a renegade band of Edomite paragendered Furry dinner roll players and exo-continuÃ¼m Knights Templar? If so, we will all soon need to hide in our parent’s cellars with our heads tightly bound in tinfoil (the Sn type, not the Al. It is getting harder and harder to get the genuine pre-World War II stuff) and surviving on only our stash of strawberry toaster pastries, Erbswurst, canned haggis, and ultra-pure spring water? !! ?
My god, it’s a conspiracy, a false flag, a fifth columnist, a mole, no, two moles, no, a legion of moles, burrowing, boring, insinuating evil negative energy under the guise of “technical difficulties” into this formerly pristine Eden. It’s Y2K, it’s the Mayan death calendar, it’s Nostradamusâ€”Great Scott, Good Sirs, who among us will man (or wo-man) the parapets?
Well you know how much I love standing in a room looking at statues of my friends!
And you are all right there is a conspiracy! Although you are all wrong! It’s Einstein’s brain communicating telepathically with the Lizard monarchy! And cats… it’s all pretty sinister and I have had to kill several people… I mean lizards… so far.
On a serious note, I miss terrible covers! I am again begging for the server to be fixed. This is what you get when you don’t pay for a service and just rely on a dear dear friend… WHO WON’T FIX IT! GHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA Maybe I should say can’t fix it… because he’s just not very good at his job! HA! Take that. I’m kidding, I love him like a mancat brother.
Is the place mat merchandising from a Saturday morning cartoon tie-in with the new Noah movie? Needs more Russell Crowe.
Anyway, it is a shame the internet’s reserves of sarcasm have taken a beating while GSS is down, but on the plus side the now-legendary “Technical Difficulties” entry has a record-breaking number of comments. Here’s to the hundred!
But we in GSS shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of siblings;
For they to-day that mocks this retched cover with me
Shall be my sibling; be they neâ€™er so snitty,
This site shall gentle their condition;
And gentlebeings on Earth now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accursâ€™d they didn’t submit their diatribes here,
And hold their petty opinions cheap whiles any speaks
That nitpicked with us upon Saint Asimov’s day.
This comment is a repeat–courtesy of, “The Best of the Kripslod”
this is madness! madness i tell you! this has gone far beyond reason i tell you! my friend the marmalade spoon is aabsolutely certain tthat this is no more than a ploy on behalf of admin to drive up comment counts on old covers. fear not, i did not take lightly such blasphemy! verily did i cast him out from the biscuit tin in which i have been forced to shelter here in my mother’s cellar. rabid weasels sent by those who must not be named quickly seized him and took him into the wormhole which is currently connected to the furnace via a transatomic displasia.
i will hear no harsh words against gss! none!
gss is our buddy, gss is our pal!
@Z. Tilcihc: shhhhh.. you don’t use words like that! St Louise is listening!
myself i was definitely not proposing a transdimensional rift manipulation by the Iavierontian Industrial Cabal in an attempt to insert cortex bombs in those most… what’s that? really? hmmm.
the paramecium think we should consider an instance of lacunar amnesia striking admin. hmm. it’s possible.
@FoTDâ€”a transdimensional rift manipulation of St Louise’s lacunar amnesia? Why, man, that has the footprints of Sir Spoon Runcible, master of both the mixed metaphor and subterranean trenchery, written all over it. I was about to call for a mass manning of the parapets again, but I have learned, sadly, that it is to no avail.
@Honourable Chiclitz — Please accept apologies for my inscrutable attempt at humour. As a gift to you, please stop by the Chinese GSS website for a complimentary movie and malware download of your choosing.
@ B. Chiclitz, I don’t think anyone would be foolish enough to call â€œWe Are Experiencing Technical Issuesâ€ a really good book by any stretch of the imagination, but you do have to admit that the illustrator did a fine job of showing the terrible angst inherent in the task facing the Cray technician. And the intensity of Professor Lewis’ eyesâ€”it moves one to tears. I certainly hope no one seeing this fine work of art has the nerve to speak of it other than deep respect and admiration!
@ Bibliomancer, I believe you have found an advertisement for a completely different book. I does however well illustrate the need for caution when servicing the plugboard of an IBM 407Â® Punchcard Tabulator. We were ALWAYS sternly instructed never to place both hands into the Control Panel Area without first ascertaining that the plugboard was firmly engaged.
Additionally, we worked for a rather conservative company and so we were required to wear both a shirt and a â€œsafetyâ€ tie at all times when we were making an on-sight service call.
How times have changed. I understand that recently many large international companies have begun trading-in their venerable tabulators for newer digital computers. If you ask me this digital craze is just a passing fancy. Give me good old Oak Tag.
@NGpmâ€”I think they want to annex all of Eastern Ukraine. Will diplomacy prevail, or will it eventually have to be boots on the ground?
@Kripslodâ€”yes, I have been haunted, even in my very dreams, by the angst-ridden visage of the good Professor.
@Biblioâ€”that Kindle book is touted as “an erotic office tale,” one that will leave us “sore and begging for more,” which sounds a lot like the situation here, though I think it’s a different sort of sore and a different form of begging.
first we had admin but no server. now there is a server but no admin. has the sino/borg conspiracy come to pass? is admin now becoming assimilated with his new masters in a dank cellar in chengdu? or does the new girlfriendthink all these silly covers ‘cchildish’? i suppose that would then make this a human difficulty rather than a technical one.
As ever… the site is broken. So here’s the news. I have found my new hosting, I am now trying to get the web site transferred which will take a little bit because I am going on holiday. WOOO! I’ll bring you back plenty of foreign covers, to join the AMAZING ones Tat Wood has sent in! And for those that want it I’ll get some sweets too.
Sorry, everyone will still see the comments awaiting moderation error for a little bit longer.
By holiday I hope you mean round the world jaunt visiting dozens of exotic locales to bring us the finest covers from all seven continents? I certainly hope your travel agent didn’t talk you into that great bargain package to Ukraine.
The famous Max von Plunk Indeterminacy Principle states that it is impossible to specify simultaneously the position of a new server (e.g.: USA, GB, N. Korea, or Papua New Guinea) and the speed of destruction of your irreplaceable data (e.g.: In 9 months, hard drive with data on it will be melted down by small children in fourth-world country. Or in 2 weeks, platters in hard drive (holding your data) will be destroyed by IT professionals â€œHey, Dude! If you take out a hard drive while it’s still running it’s like a gyroscope or something!â€
Please please please PLEASE make no adjustments to the lovely resurrected GSS. I am very much loving the randomness of letters, symbols, and numbers which have taken the place of my moniker in older posts (many of the combinations which I’ve apparently trademarked) Plus I am really enjoying the occasional closed loop in the random awful cover generator which will take me back to the cover I was just perusing.
Really, please don’t change any of it. Just the right touch of chaos to be charming!