Mar 08
Click for full imageMisterBOB’s Art Direction: Its magical, so it glows, right! And have some chick pointing to a unicorn. No boobs! Bums are in.
Published 1989
I’m not so sure thats a chick MisterBOB!
(Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Its magical, so it glows, right! And have some chick pointing to a unicorn. No boobs! Bums are in.
Published 1989
I’m not so sure thats a chick MisterBOB!
(Average: 8.16 out of 10)Loading...
(9.25 out of 10) (9.18 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
March 8th, 2011 at 9:38 am
Is ‘ELF’ one of those text-message acronyms, like ‘WTF’? Because, you know, I look at this cover and I think to myself … WTF?
March 8th, 2011 at 9:43 am
“No.. bad unicorn.. BAD! Go and play with another virgin.. GO!”
March 8th, 2011 at 10:38 am
Man, David Bowie’s career really hit the skids after Labyrinth, did it?
March 8th, 2011 at 11:06 am
Geez, those pants could just be painted on!
March 8th, 2011 at 11:47 am
A fall sunrise in New England is so beautiful, with the red leaves and the radioactive glowing androgynous fighting royalty and town squares and livestock.
March 8th, 2011 at 12:41 pm
For THX1138, sing along:
Let’s prance!
put on your elvish tights and dance in blue
Let’s prance!
In our fairy get-up, why not add a tutu
Let’s pray
That that unicorn won’t get mad and skewer you
Let’s mince!
Under the moonlight, the fantasy moonlight…
March 8th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
That’s not a chick. It’s a dude. Well, as “dude” as elves can get.
March 8th, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Cry in a corner, left-handed emo elf king. No one likes your spandex pants. Put down the sword and go sell some fingerless gloves on Etsy.
March 8th, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Even the unicorn has a look of disbelief.
March 8th, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I didn’t think she was pointing at the unicorn. I thought that was her “defence”.
Elf: “GET THEE HENCE, UNICORN!”
Unicorn: o.O
March 8th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Maybe it’s just my screen, but it looks to me like there’s a reddish stain on his/her ass. Maybe he/she just got prodded by the unicorn.
Would a guy wear shoes like that? Even an elf?
March 8th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
The unicorn looked at David Bowie and said, “You remind me of a babe.”
“What babe?” asked Bowie, to which the unicorn responded, “The babe with the power.”
March 8th, 2011 at 3:54 pm
I do believe “It’s magical, so it glows” applies here to the town, and to the unicorn, and to the elf-ass.
March 8th, 2011 at 7:08 pm
S/he is saying, “Unicorn, you’re fired!”
I look forward to reading the sequels:
Elf & Safety
Elf Service
NATIONAL Elf Service
Elf Absorbed
Elf Aggrandisement
In Sickness and in Elf
Elf Abuse
March 9th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
“Sit! SIT!! Damn unicorn, sit or you won’t get a carrot!”
March 10th, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Even Stephen King couldn’t come up with something this crazy to happen in Maine.
March 11th, 2011 at 10:24 am
Think you miss one, Phil.
“Elf Harm”
March 13th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
“A magical new fantasy by […]” sounds SLIGHTLY less inept than…
– “A rational new fantasy by”
– “An agnostic new fantasy by”
– “A magical but overripe fantasy by”
– “An unholy new fantasy by”
etc…
March 21st, 2011 at 9:48 pm
What happens if you touch the tip of a unicorn’s horn?
March 22nd, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Here are a couple of more entries for the “Most Dire Elf Related Puns Ever…” Contest, we now seem to be running here…
“Elf Care”
“Elf Esteem”
“Elf Aggrandisement”
“Elf Expression”
“Elf Help Group”
“Elfy Eating” (this one is truly dire, but I couldn’t resist making it…)
March 22nd, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Repetition! I’d already had ELF AGGRANDISEMENT. And I feel compelled to add:
Elf Taught, Elf Starter, and for those who remember the 1966 World Cup: Elf Ramsay.
Thankyou and good night!
March 23rd, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, Phil….
I now feel compelled to add these dire puns to the list…
Elf Control
Elf Destruct
Elf & Efficiency
Elf Love
March 24th, 2011 at 3:04 am
@Phil: Wot, no Elf Garnett?
March 24th, 2011 at 10:09 pm
OK, Elf Garnett as well.
And not forgetting the Jack Douglas-inspired ELF IPPITITIMUS.
August 9th, 2011 at 1:31 pm
You know what? Elf you guys.
August 9th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Elf tastic!
We need to restart our search for Elf related puns and twists!
June 18th, 2013 at 11:57 pm
Boy, baby definitely got no back. That is about as flat as an ass can get. Elf or not. Another freakin’ unicorn. They’re like the cockroaches of fantasyland. Can’t seem to get rid of the darn things. Instead of elf defence, how about some unicorn repellent spray. Obviously the early prototype isn’t working here.
March 18th, 2014 at 10:22 am
Elf Efficacy
Elf ‘Azard
Elf Resco
Elf Alpha
April 16th, 2014 at 2:43 pm
“Go away Unicorn, I keep telling you I’m not a virgin”
…
“No, really! I totally got laid ages ago! It was at this umm party with umm this girl, and really it totally happened”
July 2nd, 2015 at 4:02 pm
I hear this author is a real elf starter.
July 2nd, 2015 at 4:22 pm
Now we know what the Laughing Gnome was laughing at.
February 3rd, 2017 at 1:29 pm
Hunkbutt or Sir-Mix-A-Lot?
After Cinatis I just don’t know anymore.
February 3rd, 2017 at 1:30 pm
‘When the elven king Kelerison arrives in Godwin’s Corners, Connecticut to reclaim the mortal woman who fled from him, he finds himself face to face with a formidableand unexpectedopponent: divorce lawyer Sandra Horowitz.’
I think we can file this one under both ‘artistic failure’ and ‘art direction failure’. This sort of a book calls for wacky hijinx on the cover, not…whatever this may be.
February 3rd, 2017 at 1:44 pm
Unicorn: “I’m standing here beside my elf.”
February 3rd, 2017 at 1:56 pm
@Alice: if he’d half a chance, he’d ask Connecticut to dance, but he’s dancing with his elf. Oh, oh!
February 3rd, 2017 at 2:04 pm
@DS – Billy Idylls!
February 3rd, 2017 at 2:08 pm
I think he’s had an accident, you know, “down there.”
February 3rd, 2017 at 3:33 pm
Bad luck to point at a unicorn. You might get trapped in a crap book cover illustration for all of eternity.
February 3rd, 2017 at 3:41 pm
@fred—It’s even worse when you point at a Unicorns!
February 3rd, 2017 at 4:01 pm
Bad luck to Exclamation Point! at Unicorns!
February 3rd, 2017 at 5:31 pm
They’re playing ring toss. Elf just missed badly.
February 3rd, 2017 at 6:10 pm
@JP: So badly, in fact, that the hoop has twisted in on itself and is hovering in midair below the title.
February 3rd, 2017 at 9:59 pm
ELF DEFENCE
“A magical new strategy for achieving a .500 record, someday, by the NEW YORK KNICKS.
February 4th, 2017 at 1:48 am
@DSWBT: Yeah, this does not look like quippy snarky fantasy. I do not get the sense that wacky hijinx will ensue at any time. Maybe the hijinx can only ensue when Unicorns! aren’t around, and thus our flat-ass elf is saying “Shoo! You’ll ruin the wacky!”
Elf Kings: ultimate white boys — skinny, blond hair, blue eyes, palest white skin, and absolutely no butt.
February 4th, 2017 at 1:52 am
I think his (?) sword acts as a communications device as well.
Yep, he’s taking an ELFIE.
February 4th, 2017 at 6:36 am
♬ What’s it all about, Elfie? ♬
February 6th, 2017 at 5:06 am
I think the overly-long title of this one says it all.
Actually, I think it says too much.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LPPDRSG/
February 7th, 2017 at 2:59 am
@GSS ex-noob #47. Ah, but what you’re looking at there is an automatic No 1. bestseller: Historical Paranormal Romance with a Pirate Shape-Shifter Dragon with a Witch Mate Category.
I mean, unless someone else writes one too. Could happen, I suppose…
February 7th, 2017 at 3:34 am
@Rachel: I fear there are at least a dozen, but I’m not gonna check. It could be some hot new category we’ve never heard of. I’m fine not knowing.
But wow. Someone really played Buzzword Bingo and wrote them all in. On a dare, or to try to invent a new category to be #1 in?