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Mar 04

Yes... of course... this will be on the cover of cosmo... now pout please!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: Make sure her antennae/horns are made of felt…
Published 1967
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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31 Responses to “The Paw of God”

  1. Phil Says:

    Damn, I left out the “the”. Never mind, I’ll just…squeeze…it…in…here.

    There. No one will notice.

    This one is the embodiment of WTF, or possibly of “Whaaaaaaaa…..?”

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Maybe The Maw of God would be more appropriate?

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Little did they know…her ‘eyebrows’ wrapped through the turban and erupted out the top of her head!

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    The little head spikes cast no shadows. They were added as an afterthought, you know, because the turban/towel girl didn’t look sciencefictiony enough.
    “Man’s most exciting adventure”, indeed.

  5. SI Says:

    Rex Gordon – Airline pilot, war hero, orphanage builder, ambassador, pipe smoker, author and all round jolly good chap!

    Can’t confirm any of that… he just has that type of name!

  6. FearofMusic Says:

    Stop staring at me!! Strange woman with uneven eyes focused unevenly upon me! Back! Back I say! Good Lord woman, has Rex Gordon taught you no manners!?

    Paw of God married Maw of God and birthed cock-eyed turban girl, and…what is this book even about? Vague blurb, creepy girl on cover. Not, repeat not, picking this up to find out. Stare all you want girl, I shall resist your powers!

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Is it a “Shaggy Dog” story, or a “Shaggy God” story… or both??

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @SI: according to WikiPaedia, it’s a pen-name. His birth name is Stanley Bennett Hough. The book has a pen-name too, ‘Paw of God’ is also known as ‘Utopia Minus X’. Here’s a review at GoodReads.Com that makes it sound as bland as the model’s expression.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    Patsy Kensit’s claim that Weight Watchers has a new method seems strangely scary even without someone looking like her having extreme acupuncture and partial mummification in this picture.
    And she seems to be inside a box of chocolates.

  10. Phil Says:

    Take your stinking paw off me, you damned dirty God!

  11. SI Says:

    @Dead Stuff – Wow… it’s almost like he didn’t want anyone finding him or the book! It’s that good! 🙂

    I still don’t want to read about what the book is actually about. All I see right now is… interpretive dance!

  12. RachelJ Says:

    The blurb makes such an extravagant claim in such tiny, tiny letters… it’s like it’s embarrassed.

  13. Yoss Says:

    “Don’t you think we should emphasize that teaser copy a tiny bit more?”

    “No, no, it already says ‘superb’ and ‘man’s most exciting adventure.’ It’ll speak for itself. Besides, remember how Susan was so stoned before the photoshoot that she put one of her arms through the neck hole of the sweatshirt? Talk about a happy accident! And just yesterday, Roger told me that he left some of the proofs lying about and his little nephew drew some really clever antennae on one of them. The mustachioed ones seemed like a bit much, but the antennae are just dynamite! We don’t need to gild the lily. Leave those teaser lines small. In fact, go ahead and move them so far up the cover that they’ll be nearly cropped off.

  14. fred Says:

    I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
    I am no orator, as Brutus is;
    But, as you know me all, a plain, blunt man,
    That love my friend. And eye makeup. And dramatic eyebrows. And lipstick. And silly hats.

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    She looks like one of the girls from a Daft Punk video.

  16. FearofMusic Says:

    Thanks Anti-Sceptic, noe I have “Around the World” stuck in my heaf. Oh well, least it’s not Beyonce.

  17. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    😉

  18. Georgios Says:

    “The… Paw”… Not cat-people again!

  19. Tom Noir Says:

    I don’t know which gets me more excited, the title or the cover art.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Feel the excitement radiating from that cover… bask in it! Submit to it!

  21. anon Says:

    Venture inside GSS pub Caca — Most excrement in fiction
    WHAT FOOD, PEG?
    Reg. donor X

  22. Francis Boyle Says:

    OK, this isn’t transcendently bad but it should get some sort of award for the least effort expended in the failed attempt to be merely adequate.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    WORLD’S WORST RODNEY DANGERFIELD IMPRESSION.

  24. fred Says:

    The out of focus foreground is probably where the real excitement is.

  25. Bibliomancer Says:

    The Wap of Dog

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @A.R.Yngve (7)—I think it might be a “Doggy Shagged” story.

  27. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @A.R.Yngve—I think I might have cracked the code. Not until I thought a bit about the author’s name did it all start to makes sense.

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Now, let’s see who the REAL paw of god is!’

    ‘Why, it’s Fatmah McGhee, chair of the city council!’

    ‘That’s right. She wanted to lower real estate values so she could buy cheap and sell dear.’

    ‘And I would’ve had enough money to start my own eyebrow shop…if it hadn’t been for you Tandem kids and your dog!’

    ‘Arf!’

  29. Tom Noir Says:

    FWIW this book was apparently originally titled “UTOPIA MINUS X” before a whimsical publisher retitled it when it crossed the pond.

    Reviews on the internet are surprisingly sparse. Apparently it didn’t fly off the book shelves under either name.

  30. GSS noob Says:

    @FB (22): Yes, there is an overwhelming apathy and ennui about this cover.

    At least the original American cover had a) a title which fits the book and b) a painting of a spaceship, which one of the protagonists travels in.

    I can’t imagine this cover intriguing anyone enough to buy it. Bad Show, Tandem Sir.

  31. infoqueen Says:

    “Darling, your eyebrows are on FLEEK!”

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