Oct 02

How in God's name did you squeeze yourself into that space suit, honey?Click for full image

I need sci-fi mixed in with something suggestive! Yeah baby!! I am talking about tight space suits that make you wonder how they ever got into them. Huge racks and huge packs, if you know what I mean! Guns shaped suggestively like a… you know… *giggles* Whatever you do don’t mess it up with something like giving the women a perm. Are you listening to me?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “Exile and Glory”

  1. SI Says:

    Why the perm? Why?

    I found this one just after people were commenting about the lack of womanly support in some of the covers. This one certainly has… something…

  2. CSA Says:

    HAHA brilliant!

    They’re practically naked, those suits are so tight…. but yet… whats that, shoulder pads?

    Her suit is particularly hilarious, your right, theres no physical way she could fit into that and the support is non existant, that’ll hurt if she needs to sprint anywhere

    I also love the S&M black belts and hoops, and obviously… the perm…

  3. Adam Heine Says:

    Those are the most pornographic super soakers I’ve ever seen.

  4. SI Says:

    Is it just me or does the women look like your friends mom who drunkly sat in a bar trying to scam cigarettes from you. Even though you don’t smoke. Maybe it’s just me….

  5. CSA Says:

    Adam, I think you need to google “the Oozinator” , then we can talk about questionable super soakers πŸ˜‰

    SI: I told you my mum wasnt drunk, it was Crystal Meth. And she hasnt got the perm anymore anyway

  6. Roses Says:

    Sorry I’m late (again).

    Thanks for the bird with a perm in that spacesuit….

    Ummm….I keep looking at the pair of them…I think you’ll find their names are Kaen and Bahrby.

    Are we having an 80s revival and no-one told me about it? Perms and shoulder pads? Had I known I would have worn my stripey neon green, off the shoulder top with the pink skirt, leggings and white stillettos.

  7. Adam Heine Says:

    CSA: Oozinator googled. I would like to rephrase my statement above: “Those are the second most pornographic super soakers I’ve ever seen.”

  8. Roses Says:

    I was thinking about perm chick on the way back from the pub last night (as you do) and I was wondering what would happen if she and Ken got all hot…he peeled off her space suit to find her melons were actually peanuts…

  9. SI Says:

    I think the same would be true for her.. his cucumber would turn out to be a gerkin πŸ˜‰

    What a thing to be thinking about coming home from the bar! Where you wearing a ‘body enhancing’ space suit at the time?

  10. Roses Says:

    My mind wanders all over the universe at any given time.

    Umm…no. I don’t wear ‘body enhancing’ anything.

    I’m a great believer in not falling foul of the Trade Descriptions Act.

  11. SI Says:


    It’s ok my mind thinks a lot about book covers. As you might guess!

    Wonder how they’d sell those space suits then.

    ‘You sir, you look like the type of man who needs to look like he has a mighty package in deep space.’

  12. Roses Says:

    I’m still impressed by her six-pack. I love the definition.

    See…NASA just got it all wrong. Gok Wan needs to go sort them out. How are any of those astronaughts going to get laid looking like that. Yes, their bums really do look big in that.

  13. JustinLeego Says:

    Hey Adam, utterly agree with you on that one. Space age super soakers!

    I hope there is a sort of space-age body armour integrated into their ridiculous suits with all that high-powered weaponry on hand. Though as the guy has some kind of “extra padding” for private protection, I feel that the woman’s a little vulnerable to intergalactic crotch uppercuts. Oof!

  14. Roses Says:

    Justin – owww!

    I felt your comment was a little below the belt.


  15. SI Says:

    Speaking of belts. What’s the point of the womens second belt? It’s hardly like she needs to hold up her trousers. Guess it’s all about image to these guys.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This is a job for the Cosmo-Boobies Strike Team!

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The FULL quote:
    “Pournelle has done an excellent job of following the Heinlein tradition. Hopefully, someday his nose-ring will come off and the tradition can stop dragging him around.”

  18. Stevie T Says:

    There are covers that make you roll your eyes, and there are covers that make you stare in horrified disbelief. Then there are covers like this where you just burst out in laughter as soon as you see them.

    Good grief–her spacesuit–!

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Baen prints the most strikingly schizoid and retrograde covers in F & SF today. And you can quote me on that!

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Check out the flight path/trajectory of that wee Baen rocket.

    Also, is there room somewhere for a *codpiece!* tag? There are two here (and hers is bigger than his; he’s got the better cameltoe, however). And I’m thinking of at least two other coversÒ€”Fortune of Fear and The Battle of Forever that might warrant such. Of course, being relatively new to this marvelous world, I may be unaware that it’s been tried and rejected in the past, perhaps as “too obvious.”

  21. Tom Noir Says:

    A pair of snooty-looking space cadets if ever there was one!

    “Oh dear, Emma, I’m afraid these new recruits’ spacesuits barely have any shoulder pads at all. And their ray guns aren’t half as erotic as ours. Let’s go somewhere else, m’dear.”

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    No-one’s mentioned the aghast tiger in the back. ‘Can I change my stripes? Can I change them to orange, so I don’t have to look so like them?’

  23. Ray P Says:

    Sounds and looks like a 1980s TV show – which one is Exile and which one is Glory?

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    She’s Exile Anderson. He’s Glory Hoole.

  25. GSS noob Says:

    I suspect her norks are as fake as his gherkin.

    Because if you’re a woman with small hips, a six-pack, and visible ribs, you also don’t have natural boobage that large or saggy.

    Or is she keeping her pet tribbles warm or summat? Really an odd shape.

    Not too sure about either of their necks — are they really overlong or have the shoulder pads just thrown it off?

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    I fear they’re being (ahem) fashion-forward.

  27. Tor Mented Says:

    A double D
    In zero G
    Shouldn’t sag.
    No gravity.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: I’m guessing there’s artificial gravity, judging by their poses/stance. But since I still think her chesticles are fake, they shouldn’t sag either. I’m going with she’s carrying something else in there.

    @TagW: we need a retroactive “devil’s dumplings” here. This pair is an affront to all that is good, for sure.

    Maybe their spacesuits are some sort of spray-on/paint-on liquid?

    @Tat maybe is correct, and this is just a future fashion show? I hope so, because I see no way of attaching an airtight helmet to that. Whereas the ridiculousness of the suits, shoulder pads, and the porny weapons would fit right in at a runway show.

  29. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    Po(u)rnelle by name…

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: GSS!

  31. Ray P Says:

    Yes, her bosoms are fake. Painted in fact.

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