Dec 16

Oh sorry were you whipping me? I fell asleep...Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: “Very well Mistress Raven, I want you to whip me gently until I am hit with my next great cover inspiration. Don’t spare the buttocks. And remember my safe words: poul anderson.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “The Golden Slave”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Is that Gordon the Golden Slave? Gor-don?

  2. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “I shall continue to whip you until you tell me the meaning of that writing upon the column…”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    He’s chained to the letter S. Look. There’s no more links anywhere on that cover except the ones that connect his wrists to the letter S. Is that supposed to be ‘meta’?

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    He must be the Golden Slav

  5. fred Says:

    Original front.
    Original back.
    Well make up your damn mind, is it mighty or thundering?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: mighty thundering?

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Eodan: Hey, Oracle, I could use some help here. Every day I’m getting chained, whipped. My beautiful wife, Hiccup, has been sold as a concubine, and I’m supposed to fight, seduce and connive my way to a perilous freedom. I don’t see how I can get all of this done.

    Oracle: No problemo dude, you’re golden.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer 4—Looks like she’s more interested in the Golden Hind.

  9. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “A mundering novel of conquest and vengeance in the barbaric days of the First Century B.C. …also the Last Century B.C.”

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    There isn’t enough conniving in this day and age. I call for more conniving. Google, connive some show times for me.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Baby you connive my car
    Yes I’m gonna be a star
    Baby you connive my car
    And maybe I’ll love you

  12. Anna T. Says:

    How’d he end up golden, anyway? Is he El Dorado? Is he made of living metal? Did Mistress Raven have him painted up in gold dust for her own pleasure? Was he genetically engineered that way? Questions, questions . . .

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    If Mistress Raven did paint him up in gold dust, let’s hope she left that small patch at the base of the spine uncovered (à la “Goldfinger”) or else he’s not gonna be conniving his way to anything.

  14. Ray P Says:

    Conniving fell out of fashion when Harold Wilson left office.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “A Mighty Novel of…”

    What precisely makes a novel “mighty”?
    A) Size? (“Pages six feet tall!”)
    B) Weight? (“Printed on cast iron pages!”)
    C) Price? (“Mightily priced!”)
    D) Epic grandeur? (“The mightiest whippings and goldiest golden slaves in the history of Depraved Roman Empire novels!”)

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RayP: Harold Wilson left office? My goodness, did he lock up and turn off the gas first?

    @AR: E) Thundering?

  17. Ray P Says:

    Suspecting the Praetorian Guard of plotting his downfall Haroldicus fled in the night. He did remember to take the tinned salmon and a quarter-full bottle of vinegar with him.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This blatant objectification of males as passive, helpless targets of female oppression, who are valued for their bodies instead of their minds, is sexist and reactionary.
    Where is the outrage???

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    This isn’t the first racy cover that Poul Anderson has been associated with.

  20. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Stupid Sexy Flagellation.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: that lady in the background has very uncertain proportions…I hope she’s not being discriminated against by the other three natives.

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