Feb 24

Daneil IX didn't make it...Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth’s Art Direction: We haven’t any more time to spend on your ‘drawing the main character’ rubbish, there are 117 layers of rainbow-coloured lacquer to slap on the cover before we put it to bed!
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.14 out of 10)

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29 Responses to “Daniel X: Demons and Druids”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    That Adam Sandler will do anything for a cheap laugh.

  2. Perry Armstrong Says:

    How can one boy extinguish the ultimate extraterrestrial fire starter?


  3. fred Says:

    Four x’s shy of a X x’s front cover.

  4. B. Chiclitz Says:

    This is what happens when you let children make too many choices. Plus they’ve been finger painting all over Stonehenge again.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    London’s burning – quick, head for Stonehenge to put it out. With lightning-bolts.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    The ultimate extraterrestrial fire starter?

    You mean this guy?

  7. anon Says:

    “Prepare for.. Lightningcrotch!”

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: no…These guys.

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “ThunderBiebers are GO!!”

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Can one boy…”
    Just NO.

  11. Anna T. Says:

    Is that Cthulhu’s cousin back there?

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    London burning to the faraway towns
    Now war is declared and druid come down
    London burning to the underworld
    Come out of the Stonehenge, you boys and girls
    London burning, now don’t look behind
    Phony Children’s Choice award has bitten the dust
    London burning, see we ain’t got no swing
    ‘Cept for the shine of that rainbow thing

    With apologies to The Clash.

  13. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Anna T: Cthulhu’s cousin reminds me of this guy:

  14. anon Says:

    America’s burning!
    Can one man extinguish the ultimate racist firestarters?
    Malcolm X: Justice and equality

  15. Anna T. Says:

    @Perry Armstrong: Crazy Prison Warden with Chronic Eye Twitch? Yeah, the guy in the background could be his cousin as well.

  16. anon Says:

    Dax Nile
    Can lonely firestarter Dax Nile burn his extreme anguish on “Ur a bitter otter tit” song?
    * Fat Ray Chen’s Horde: Eat Hohu licorice! *
    Mare Tasta and saddle-sore man J.P.

  17. Tor Mented Says:

    Now I want to google the lyrics for “Ur a Bitter Otter Tit.”
    Didn’t Cream sing that on Disraeli Gears?

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    Meed the lad who excelX
    Young DanielX

    ‘And that’s magic!’

    (UK reference undoubtedly lost on both authors and all the alleged kerjillions of young readers because you have to have actually spent more than a night in a Knightsbridge hotel watching CNN to get it. See also Rainbow Rowell, John C Wright.)

  19. Bruce A Munro Says:

    So maybe the alien is one of these dudes?

    A Dubious Award winner, I see! Seems rather the genre mashup: the “X” in his name and the Electrical Combat Stance suggests he’s a Marvel-type mutant, which would along with an alien point to science fiction, but “Demons and Druids” indicates fantasy (and not very coherent fantasy: Druids indicates Celtic [1] myth and magic, while Demons is more a Christian thing. Unless they’re going with the Celtic Gods were actually Demons thing, which is just rude.)

    [1] Stonehenge of course long predates the Druids, but that’s an _old_ mistake which has become somewhat grandfathered into the Extruded Celtic Fantasy Product genre.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Patterson gets a bigger budget, so his multi-colored alien flames are fancier.

    Also, categories-schmategories: Patterson and the guy what actually wrote it don’t care. It’s Extruded SF/F/YA Product, it can have mutants, aliens, demons, and druids. Presumably X-Boy and the druids take on the evil aliens and demons. From a safe distance of 144 km (90 miles in old money).

    @Tat: I only spent 2 nights in a hotel at Hammersmith tube station, so that’s me also out of it. (5 weeks total in Scotland and England, though)

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Cap Tor 😀—I think Ginger Baker did the vocal.

  22. The Blue Are Coming Says:

    The Gauls have dealt with invaders before, so Britain sought their help when Pyrotechnix showed up. Asterix and Obelix were busy hunting wild boar, so Getafix sent his nephew, DanielX-Fully-Electrix.

    I think the cover needs more blue.

  23. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSSx-n: Even in so brief a stay you’d’ve learned better than to call your not-Hogwarts “Watford”* and have it five hours’ train journey from Paddington (i.e. somewhere in Wales). Or to have the bad-boy Boris-Johnson-a-like posh vampire called ‘Baz’. That’s just the ones Americans noticed…

    (*If only she’d picked ‘Romford’ instead.)

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: Well, yes, that and I know how to Google things — like how far apart London and Stonehenge are… I had a vague memory of “maybe 2-3 hours?” but confirmed it.

    Not that Brits don’t make similar errors about the US. IRL even — it’s amazing how many tourists think San Francisco and Disneyland are just a quick commute away instead of 400+ miles apart, 7 hours’ drive on a day with no traffic or weather.

    @The Blue: indeed, there’s not enough of your signature color, but I guess it’s not eye-gouging enough for this cover.

    Young Electrix is thinking “these demons are crazy!”

  25. fred Says:

    Wait a minute. The suggested reading age for this book is grade 3-7, but for the manga it’s grade 7. (Amazon)

  26. Hammy Says:

    @GSSxn (#24):

    2011? Is that too early or too late for Electrix to say “‘at’s wack….”?

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    Disney’s advertising went to great lengths to foster the idea that you could just nip from San Francisco to Disneyand and back in an afternoon. And US drama series had people apparently teleporting to and from LA or Vegas. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, and with Yanks sneering at our parochial belief that 100 miles is a long distance (it is – I’ve walked it), your friends aren’t entirely to blame. The guilt lies with Rock Hudson and Susan Saint James.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: I know “wack” was in existence long before 2011. Whether an electrical kid in a part of England too far from where he ought to be would use it or not is beyond my expertise, as is whether it’s too late to be used save in a knowingly retro sense. Crack is wack!

    @Tat: pfff. I used to drive 200 miles round-trip to spend from after work Friday till after dinner Sunday with friends once a month or so. Walking wouldn’t have been an option, though. Particularly along the interstate.

    Even more common is seeing hordes of tourists on the waterfront of San Francisco shivering in their brand-new Disneyland t-shirts, because they think all of California is hot in the summer (also no doubt Disney’s fault) and they’ve gone from sweltering 90’s and sunny in the Mouse Kingdom to 60’s, cloudy, and with ocean breezes from both sides in SF. (And it’s a cold ocean, even down south.)

    It does mean good business for sellers of overpriced sweatshirts.

    These tourists are crazy!

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Now wait a minnit—you can get to Disneyland™™️®️©️, from anywhere, in an instant. First, you win the Superbowl and then when the shill asks you, “Where you goin’ now Joe?” You say, “I’m goin’ to Disneyland™™️®️©️!!” And *poof* you’ll be there.

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