Mar 04

He's been on the tanning bed all day... now it's time to get wild!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: That stare and that belt buckle. Pretty sure he’s thinking, “X marks the spot, ladies.” Then again maybe not, because that would make this a pirate story, and it’s already a sci-fi erotic spy thriller, so that might be a bit much.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “The She Beast”

  1. SI Says:

    Cling my dear… to my incredibly low knees!

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    With a belt buckle he sent away for from the back of a cornflakes packet, I’d say this was more erotic for the man than the ladies.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    To continue to look young and beautiful, the old hag needed a compound called Novitol. The company that manufactured it was being bought by the same wealthy man whose daughter is being visited by Lance. When the hag’s henchmen try to kill the father, Lance steps in.

    This sounds like a plot that could have been solved without violence and with a suitable contract. 😐

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It’s the same man-boobs! The pectoralis muscle on male humans extends more towards the shoulder joint, both of these fellows must have been taking estrogens.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Q: What’s a “supersecret” agent?
    A: The Coolest Thing Ever in the mind of an 8-year-old boy.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    I’m reading that title as I, The She Beast

    But this Peter Lance guy is no Young Flandry

  7. anon Says:

    “Fleet romp? Thanx, man.”
    “I devour ten eerie newt scars.”
    HE “#1’S” THE BASTE
    Supercreepiest, sexiest Celt Galen wets the most tender meat ever
    by Dream Haunts

  8. Perry Armstrong Says:

    He’s definitely had cosmetic surgery since first arriving on Earth:

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The standing lady has jammed her neck through her jaw into her right ear. Also, though it may be camera artefacts, I think her labia are visible. 🙁

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Meet Peter Lance…The coldest, fruitiest, most super shaved ice dessert ever!


  11. fred Says:

    He vibrates. I mean parts of him vibrate. Among other things. And if this author is who the writer of this article says he is, some of his other work is surprising.
    Back cover.

  12. Chris Says:

    Pat Boone and Camel Toe!?!

  13. Anna T. Says:

    Are we absolutely certain this isn’t an ad for an escort service?

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    I just want to know how one makes one’s kneecaps so irresistible to women.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Fred—thanks for the back cover blurb. Now I know that Peter North Lance “can hear a bra drop a mile away.” Although, if the bra in question is the armored-looking apparatus on standing woman, maybe it’s not such an impressive super power after all. That thing could easily double as a battering ram.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Mr. Clean’s wet dream.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    We washed one set of space-agent clothing in Planet X and another in Aestival Tide. And just see the difference.

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    “Cor, DM, these human masks are a really tight fit. And why do I have to be the one wearing a bikini?”

    “Shush, Penfold. I have to dress like I always do. That’s how people can identify me as a super-secret spy”.

    “But chief! There’s another agent clinging to your leg.”

    “Yes, Colonel K wanted to come along too. I think he likes dressing like that.”

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Is the super secret spy wearing bell-bottomed trousers?

  20. Rags Says:

    His package is shaped like a hammer!

    Seeing as how his face is much darker than his arms, spray on tan? Perma-wet pants clinging to muscles (drool). This guy has it all, no wonder the ladies love him.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Bob Goulet always knew he had a destiny far greater than croonerdom.

  22. THX 1138 Says:

    Peter Lance…lot Link, Secret Chimp? Shaved?

  23. Jon Says:

    Ah yes, the simpler, quieter days of 1975, when you only needed one X to designate p0rn….

  24. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Permanent Flax Moth #1 Bashes Teeth
    Manured Hats

  25. DaveM Says:

    Alex Delarge eventually moved on from ultraviolence to ultrasupersecret agent work (the new droogs were much easier on the old glazzies).

  26. anon Says:

    @Perry Armstrong: Nice!

  27. A.R.Yngve Says:

    New Rule: Nothing is UNsexier than telling people upfront how sexy something is supposed to be.

  28. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Don’t take dating advice from this guy…
    “You should stare like a maniac, wear tight white bellbottoms, and big belt-buckles are a must-have accessory. Don’t forget — stare at her like you’re an insane killer!”

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