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Jul 06

Dance the Eagle to Sleep

15 Comments »

I've got another idea: Brave Nude World!Click for larger image

William Goldfish’s Editor Pitch Hear me out. Picture “Lord of the Flies”. But the schoolboys are stranded on MILF Island!

Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)
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Jul 01

Sight of Proteus

14 Comments »

Call me FishmealClick for larger image

Charles Comments Fans of “Shape of Water” fishbanging will find a lot to like here.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Jun 10

The Flame

13 Comments »

Did nazi that comingClick for larger image

Raoul Comments: Fascists outmaneuver Antifa with a new rebranding campaign.

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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May 07

As It Is Written

13 Comments »

As It Is PaintedClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: I am only going to use the space sheep for J’ai Lu tit covers. This is a work of art. But I’m not convinced Krupowicz can draw feet.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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Jul 31

Alien Sex

22 Comments »

Not the body part I was expectingClick for larger image

J Greely Comments: Nothing says alien sex like crosshairs targeting an eyeball filled with Saturn.

Published 1992

You might remember this from here. And maybe here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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Jul 02

The Cleft

10 Comments »

This cover really cracked me up.Click for larger image

Mama Roux Comments: This must be the bad part of the city where the bums hang out.

Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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Jun 13

Mr. Spock Megapost

16 Comments »

We’ve got submitted Spock covers coming out our pointy ears so it’s a good time to toss them all together into a Mr. Spock Megapost! Credit where credit is due but there are some unknown artists and publishers in this mix.

Yeoman, set your nozzle to 'spray'Click for larger


As it was written in Jim 3:16Click for larger image

Help ... I'm ... a ... rock ...Click for larger image

Who's a good little captainClick for larger image

Spock fanfic ladypornClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. Yes we are both threatened by the giant ants. Why do you persist in yelling Me Too?

2. I wish to be now known as Father Spock.

3. “Airing … grievances … lot of problems … you people … gonna hear it …”

4. Next time let’s not get our publicity shots posing in the Sears Portrait Studio.

5. Sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’ve never lost my Vulcan Death Grip before.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Feb 11

The Mime

16 Comments »

You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent.Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Don’t worry about your dangerous liaison in the ice cream cone. The mime won’t tell anyone.

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Feb 07

Honourable Mentions 20

19 Comments »

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

Puts the Martian in M.I.L.F.Click for larger image

A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

A Poledancer of MarsClick for larger image

Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

Let's throw a hoedown!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Jul 24

The Waters of Centaurus

21 Comments »

You're busted!Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: “Hey! My lady-parts are down here!”

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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