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Dec 08

Rocket to UranusClick for larger image

Hey, my eyes are up ... oh never mindClick for larger image

It’s a Two-for Tuesday: Wraparound WTF

Good Show Sir Comments: Look what the Lovely Submit Button dropped off on our doorstep. Your guess is as good as mine.

Courtesy of “Anony-Mouse”

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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18 Responses to “Optional Wrap-Around Cover”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    None of these are as good as Book Title by Author Name.

  2. fred Says:

    Or as good as Full of Praise Blurb by Famous Author.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Not only is Author Name unrivaled in his class, he is in a class by himself.”
    – Gordon Dickson

  4. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Pre-made covers for Extruded Fantasy/SF Romance Product? This is one of those things which is hard to tell if it’s a parody or not.

  5. Bruce A Munro Says:

    #1: “A million miles away…” is how far you want to be from this book.

    #2: The twist is that the hunk is the one who has been Promised to the Alien Warlord…who looks more like Jabba with spider legs.

  6. Daz Says:

    Not sure how these are “taken via a camera, by you” or seen in the wild at all. These look like stock self-published cover templates that have been partially modified to show how they might look. Nothing to see here.

  7. daard23 Says:

    I really love the all the books in the Alien Conqueror Chronicles! Especially “Engaged to the Galactic Gladiator” and “Betrothed to the Marauding Mutant”!

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    Spoonerism time.
    1) Wook Bun
    A Mile-eon Mills Away
    Nauthor Ame
    Optional Crap-Around Wover

    2) Promised to the Whalien Orlord
    The Alien Chronicker Conquerilles

  9. Raoul Says:

    Why the smoke? Are they setting the mattress on fire?

  10. NomadUK Says:

    Covers recycled from _Fifty Shades of Blue_ and it’s less successful sequel, _Fifty Shades of Red-Violet_.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Dear Editor,

    Once again I write to request you stop misspelling my name!

    Sincerely,
    Arthur Name

  12. Francis Boyle Says:

    I’m hanging out for brief meaningless sex with the alien emissary. Or even Brief Meaningless Sex with the Alien Emissary. Don’t judge me, OK.

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    They must be cover concepts for ‘Star Trek: The Sexed Generation’ series. The optional reach around costs extra.

  14. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. That’s not smoke. That’s Axe Body Spray.

    2. Ichabod Crane … After Dark!

  15. G.B.H. Hornswoggler Says:

    They look like templates for some self-publishing company.

    But the text is running the wrong direction on the spine; it runs “up” in France (and maybe elsewhere in continental Europe) but “down” in the US and UK. That’s a weirdly random thing to get wrong.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Were these actually spotted in the wild, or were the images lifted without credit from the website of a cover designer?

    Because I personally know at least one person who not only does the covers for her own novels, but sells off-the-peg covers like this at reasonable rates to other authors. It’s a lot cheaper and easier than finding, negotiating with, and paying artists.

    Basically, these are from a book of samples, just like wedding invitations and the like.

    (a few minutes later)

    Et voila, an image search gives us the designer:

    avdaldesigns.com

    I don’t know her, but wish her well. It’s a living.

    So @Bruce was correct.

    Bad Show, Anony-mouse! For shame!

    @Tor: hee! reminds me of @anon. “Wook Bun” would be a very hairy romance.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    In related news: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/dec/08/bad-sex-award-cancelled-as-public-exposed-to-too-many-bad-things-in-2020

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Am I looking at a Word template?

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