Oct 17

As your lawyer... all am I saying is... this doesn't look too good.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Moray Comments: Filming in a second hand book shop I thought I would use my lunch break to scan the Sci-fi section for some suitable GSS candidates. This was the first one I picked out, and decided to quit while I was ahead…
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “Soma”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Yeah, well, mine is bigger!

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    The Misogynist’s Guide to Wilderness Survival

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    Well this one is… troubling.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    SO MAny things wrong with this cover.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Thank goodness he’s holding the sword there, or this cover might have been really offensive.

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    We are totally misinterpreting whats happening on this cover. The woman is fine, simply relaxing and you can’t see her head, still attached to her body, behind the rock. Primitive man is merely showing off his skill at turning a coconut into an exact portrait his true love, with nothing more than a machete. It’s all really quite romantic.

  7. fred Says:

    He’s a half human half get their kicks a la Jack the Ripper mutant being trained to be a super soldier. Like ANYONE would think that could possibly go well.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    If I remember my Aldous Huxley aright, ‘Soma’ was the chill-out drug. So this is him mellow.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JP: you’re right that the woman is fine, but primitive man has just given himself an orchidectomy to show off…a strange, strange orchidectomy.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    Thanks DSWTB, I now have orchidectomy in my search history (i went to art school, that’s my excuse for needing to look that up). Can only imagine what google will do with that.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JP: Better Google than Clippy the Antichrist Paper Clip:

    ‘It looks like you’re chopping off your own genitals. Would you like to…

    •Take off the whole lot?
    •Take off only a little?
    •Wave ’em in the air like you just don’t care?’

  12. Anna T. Says:

    So, naked women are nothing new on this site, but a naked MAN . . . who just decapitated a naked woman . . . and is using his sword as a censor bar . . . my gods. It almost makes me afraid to ask if it actually has anything to do with the book.

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    They left off the subtitle:
    Soma: Overcompensation of the Sword

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: Sword Overcompensation Manual by Anthony?

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Overcompensation Manual, Chapter 1
    Step 1: Make sure you’ve got all your equipment in hand. That shouldn’t be too hard, er, difficult.
    Step 2: Choose your victims carefully. Chances are a sleeping beauty won’t be impressed by the fake head and blustery blade.
    Step 3: Consider getting a new car.

  16. SI Says:

    So hard one to comment on really….

    But has he got his hair in a bun?

  17. Ray P Says:

    When LARP goes wrong.

  18. JRDelirio Says:

    Huh — so the lower part of the severed neck is worth a Convenient Foreground Object to cover it up, but otherwise the rest of her naked body and her severed head can be right there for all to see… while his Big Ass Sword conceals something not so big… and what in the world has he got pinning his manbun, the plumage of a Bird of Paradise?

    @Anna T. who knows, we may have found a cover artist who’s more twisted than ol’ Piers himself. Gotta keep up the perv vibe even if it has been handed over to others to write…

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Scene from The Mikado (edited out during rehearsals)

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    From the one and only Amazon review:

    Having enjoyed the offbeat original Chthon series, I saw SOMA at a booksellers and picked it up to give it a chance. I have not read Plasm, the “3rd” book in the series and admittedly don’t know what I might have missed. Plasm seemed summarized in the early pages, but that is an assumption.

    But even with the abject lack of knowledge: this is a terrible and purposeless book. After the brief introduction to Aton’s current situation and a couple minor plot points to move the story onward, Aton wanders around raping and killing people brutally and sadistically. There’s an abrupt, forced, and somewhat implausible resolution to this (and the alluded-to galactic menace) in the last nine pages of the book.

    Sounds like a winner!

  21. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well yeah, DSWTB, mine was bigger too but after seeing this cover it’s shrivelled to almost nothing in shame and embarrassment.

  22. Noel Says:

    I’m not sure I’m happy with the direction Poldark is taking.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Francis Boyle: Like this?

  24. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well, I suppose the head is shrunken too.

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s “funny” (and not in the “ha-ha” way) that this gross, disturbing artwork actually made its way past the editor… how the hell did that happen?

    Editor: “I’m a bit torn on this cover choice, so I’ve hired a consultant to give us some creative input. Please welcome Mr. Charles Manson, and his probation officer. Mr. Manson, would you say this cover is in good taste?”

    C. Manson: [Stares maniacally at the cover for a minute, then makes a terrifying leer]

    Editor: “I’ll take that as a yes. Send it to the printer.”

  26. Doyle Harken Says:

    I appreciate the good laugh, GSS, but we all know there’s MRAs masturbating furiously to this now.

  27. RachelJ Says:

    @A.R.Yngve Well, the *book* got past the editor… and see Tom Noir #20.

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Arguably, this is 2016 summed up in a single book cover.

  29. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Well put, sir. Well put.
    [Laughing through my tears]

  30. L.B. Says:

    Amazing what you can find in the woods.

  31. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    A story so horrid, the movie was split into two parts and marketed to teenagers.

  32. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir (20) quotes from the one and only Amazon review: “This is a terrible and purposeless book.”

    Should be the blurb this cover is missing. In fact, it may be the most useful blurb of all time.

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