May 23

Oh crap, I'm caught in that Chinese Mental Finger Trap againClick for full image

I'm trying to act normal. Why are the neighbours always staring?Click for full image

It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday — Psion Pspecial!

Leah Comments: A MALE protagonist, in a skimpy top and skirt, as well as 80s hair that looks like he copied it out of a porno mag. Bonus semi-transparent floating aliens, and trees(?), also semi-transparent, growing out of pipes.

Published 1982, 1985                                                               Thanks to Erika for sending in the other one.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Psion”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #1: Pstupid.

    #2: Psickening.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #2: ‘Where do you suppose chips come from?’

    ‘What, french fried potato chips? A chip factory, I assume.’

    ‘With lots of unhappy, slouched chavs slaving away for the chip boss?’

    ‘The chip boss fellah. Who looks like David Bowie in The Man Who Fell To Earth.’

    ‘Well, he’s got to drive those poor sods. He’s got a family to feed, you know.’

    ‘A family, aye?’

    ‘Yes, they live on beyond the magical potato tree forest. That’s where the potatoes come from, you know.’

    ‘The chip factory potatoes…another rip o’ the bong?’

    ‘You must’ve read my mind…’

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Top: “I hate this stuff, it gets all over your fingers.”

    Bottom: “Psighin’: A Novel of the Blond Afro”.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    If it didn’t say “A Novel…” on the cover, we might mistake a book for a pack of detergent, a VHS tape, or a box of wipes… publishers know these things! It is not for us to question their wisdom.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    #1: Young Nikolai Tesla discovers that the shape of the magnetic field strongly resembles the female uterus and ovaries. He spends the rest of his short, tragic life seeking the G-Spot that will provide unlimited free energy to the world.

  6. SI Says:

    Health and safetfy nightmare… fire from the mind and electricity in the hands.

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    Founder of The Psionic Menace?

  8. Francis Boyle Says:


    You see potatoes, I see penises. Well, there’s no accounting for taste I suppose.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 Great party trick, but your power is otherwise useless. Don’t quit your day job.

  10. fred Says:

    Has this ‘Novel of the future’ reached its expiration date? It looks a little gone by.

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    Psi-on, you crazy diamond!

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Francis: Remind me to NOT come over to your house for lunch again. 😉

    @JP: I imagine Skeletor saying that to He-Man and utterly CRUSHING the poor lad’s spirit.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @A.R. Yngve: they needed to tell us it’s a novel in case anyone in the market for a personal organiser purchased this by mistake. 1985 was in between the first two models.

    If only Joan Vinge had copyrighted the name ‘Blackberry’…

  14. Anna T. Says:

    So, second cover: Kid in an ugly outfit with bad hair, being watched by a group of old lady ghosts floating in the trees. Everyone has a glowing bindi, and the forest appears to be mechanical.

    Yeah, these are definitely eighties, especially with the ugly clothes.

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Looking at the bloke in the first cover, the term ‘palm pilot’ does spring to mind.

  16. Francis Boyle Says:


    Well, given the HUGE THROBBING COCK on the guys chest I think I can be forgiven for thinking everything on the second cover is some sort of phallic symbol.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FB—a-and it’s pointing straight up at its counterpart on cover 1! I think you’ve uncovered a vast subterranean image cluster haunting the mind of the cover artist, if not that of Joan D. Vinge herself.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So the first cover proves psychic powers give you a literally splitting headache.

    #2: could be potatoes, penises, Twinkies, Minions sans overalls…

  19. Leah Says:

    The story itself is not actually all that bad, if a little bit bizarre, and what makes the cover I submitted even worse in my mind is that I also own the sequels, which have lovely covers.

  20. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    @Fred: Sadly, no. I think there’s a few centuries left to go before that happens. And why doesn’t this have a ‘male skirts’ tag?

  21. Ryan Says:

    I strongly regret selecting the “Random Terrible Cover” option today.

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