Jun 29

A Faux-nan painted by a Faux-frazettaClick for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: That appears to be a right hand attached to a left arm coming through the wall.

Published 1983

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)

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29 Responses to “The Warrior Enchained”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    More appropriate for A Circus of Hells?

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Not that I’m bragging, of course, but if I were to wear that thong I think the mark of my gender would be a bit more prominent. Perhaps he’s had some kind of bodily trauma? That would explain his expression.

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    That star is well earned 🌟


  4. THX 1138 Says:

    Sharon Green is people!

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    “Enchained”… or just “chained” as everyone else says.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: I’m afraid that enchained/chained is almost as popular as prideful/proud and pressurised/pressed. They are legion, and they want to suck out our brains and eyeballs.

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    Now, dswbt, this is the 21st century. Leave your outdated gender roles in the hyborian age. 😉

    Edit: added smiley face to communicate levity

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    @DSWBT 6: It’s “impactful” that bothers me, how did that mess become a word?

    Anyway, I won’t let it get to me too much, I’ll relax with this recording of Enchained Melody.

  9. RachelJ Says:

    FYI, “enchained” is a perfectly legitimate word, and by no means a neologism (Middle English from French enchaîner, according to the OED). It just looks bloody illiterate.

  10. fred Says:

    He is also enearringed and entoesrearrangedifyoulookclosely.
    May I also suggest ‘The face of determination’ as a tag.

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    So, in the eighties, in art school, were there no foot masters around? Was it the dark ages for bi-pedal anatomy? We’re feet deemed the work of the devil and banned in fantasy art by the church?

  12. JuanPaul Says:

    I knew I had seen that expression before…

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:


    Baby’s got me enlocked and enchained
    And they ain’t the kind
    You can unsee, woah-oh
    Oh yeah enchained of lo-o-ove
    Got enhold on me, yeah.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—no, it’s just a left arm that bends ninety degrees backwards.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    @THX-1138 #5 – This cover ensucks

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I’m now trying to figure out just exactly how they hoisted Faux-Nan into that weird position. Did they attached the leg irons first or the wrist irons? Did they hoist him up with a crane, lean him forward and attach all the irons at once? Another thing, if he’s leaning forward, why is his medallion bouncing upwards? And why does he seem to have a camel toe? So many questions, so little import . . . .

  17. fred Says:

    “Note to science fiction fans who read this review: I am re-reading the series from the perspective of whether it qualified as a BDSM Romance.” Michael Dunellen review.

  18. Alice Says:

    The warrior is enchained because he is full of gas and about to float away.

  19. Raoul Says:

    @ B.Chiclitz 13 – Great song! Is that by Alice Enchains?

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Did Rodney Matthews do this cover? Fauxnan definitely looks like Elric’s been messing with Grecian 2000 and the whole thing gives off a whiff of Patchouli and Brown Dubbin. If it’s not him it’s someone who wants this to be mistaken for his work.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Raoul—written by Encarol Enking. Covered most famously by the Enbeatles.

  22. Anna T. Says:

    Fauxnan, our hero, has been captured by the dread Amazon women – basically, your average sexist pulp-fantasy plot.

    On the plus side, this cover is so terrible that it gives us leave to mock it endlessly – like the dancing bikini-clad damsel who appears to be lacking a right thumb.

    Good show!

  23. StevenLP Says:

    They all seem to be ignoring each other – there’s no eye contact being made: perhaps they’ve had an argument about whose turn it is to walk the Puma?

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The lady in pink…does she have a hole through her hair into her skull?

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    O Ghu, I liked the romance novel cover more.

    The warrior’s musculature is like no human ever, and he’s got nada in his tiny g-string. He’s sporting less than your average Ken doll. Possibly less than your average Barbie doll. Too many steroids? Pubic bone removed? Both?

    Weird abs! Nobody has a navel! Nobody has feet! What’s with the lower back of the lady at far left? The skull dent of the lady in pink?

    Can we get some tag regarding the mess of anatomy all over?

    What’s the round thing he’s chained to? And how?

    Does the big black cat only have 3 legs?

    Are any of them aware of the others?

    The more you look at this, the more enterrible it becomes.

    OMG, same author wrote “Lady Blade, Lord Fighter” as seen on GSS.

  26. JuanPaul Says:

    Also, I would like to suggest a “plumber’s crack” tag.

  27. Al Simms Says:

    The artist is, I think Peter Jones – he did quite a few UK fantasy/sf covers in the 70s

  28. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Needs a “WTF” tag.

  29. infoqueen Says:

    Cirque de Soleil’s latest show was NOT family-friendly.

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