Jul 10

Two seconds before she fell over sidewaysClick for larger image

Tracy Comments: The planet where 1980s workout videos still reigned.

Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)

Tagged with:

24 Responses to “The Monstrous Regiment”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    Foliage by Georgia O’Keeffe

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I thought she was supposed to be little, and red, and wearing a riding hood…

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m expecting to see Jack Skellingdon tripping along somewhere in the background.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    Here we go gathering nuts in May… or maybe, um, the opposite of that.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    That bow must be incredibly heavy.

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    Corinna begins to understand why her husband enjoys visiting the forest so often.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    [email protected]: look at the flowers, and then tell me why you think she needs a bow for her arrows. 😉

  8. Francis Boyle Says:

    Phew, for a moment there I thought we were going to be making fun of Pterry.

  9. fred Says:

    1) Corinna’s last name is Trotgarden.
    2) The planet is ruled by radical feminists.
    3) This is a Storm Constantine novel.
    4) Gardens do get trotted.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: Is this Jeopardy? Er, I’ll take ‘Today’s Cover’, for 100.

    1) What is ‘a stupid family name’?
    2) What is ‘reverse stereotyping’?
    3) What is ‘fair warning that things will get more bizarrely sexual than a Depeche Mode album’?
    4) What is ‘no surprise at all’?

  11. RachelJ Says:

    Illustrated: Corinna, facing depravity.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    Young lady with medievalish clothing and model posture, who regardless looks so, so eighties, stands in a forest filled with flowers suspiciously reminiscent of female genitalia (there, I said it) over a citadel.

    My report: meh.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    WAAA-AAA-AAAH! Bodyform

    There, I said it.

  14. Raoul Says:

    Corinna could not understand why her husband spent countless hours carefully tending his flower garden.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    Are those pussy-willows?

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: I hope they’re not snap-dragons.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Corinna faced depravity… and that was just the flora.

    Okay, if the city is more depraved than the marshes, it couldn’t be displayed on a book cover sold in shops where people under 18 are allowed. What else has it got besides those towers, eh?

    At least she’ll have great aerobic capacity. let’s get physical, physical… Eww.

    Wait, is she holding a KNIFE? Is she cutting off those flowers and putting them in her basket and taking them to the city to add to the depravity? I think so.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    In the self-published re-release, the cover seems to indicate that poor Corinna has melted from all the depravity.

    I dare you to read the plot description and keep a straight face.

    Her tank top remains consistent, even in the two editions of the sequel (!)

  19. RachelJ Says:

    # GSS ex-noob. My favourite bit is from the customer review, where it’s casually dropped that the leader of this society is known as “The Dominatrix”.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: and yet apparently she doesn’t Dominate properly. Which a Goodreads reviewer also thought. Another called the book “nightmare fuel”.

    Apparently one *can* judge this book by the cover.

  21. infoqueen Says:

    I read title and author together: The Monstrous Regiment Storm Constantine”–like storming the castle, only on Depraved 80s planet.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @infoqueen: Is the regiment storming one of the Emperors Constantine, or the comic book character? If it’s Depraved 80’s, definitely the latter.

  23. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I believe the flowers require space sheep!

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This cover just might have worked… but somehow the editor forgot that the large empty upper half of the image was intended for the title and the author’s name.

Leave a Reply