Jul 06

Featuring the background chant music of The Benedictine Monks Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Now for a quick Hara-Kiri

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)

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29 Responses to “The Nightmare of God”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Sequel to Zorachus? SOLD!

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    A warrior possessed…what? What did the warrior possess? The sentence is grammatically correct but it doesn’t have an object. He possessed a knife? He possessed a girlfriend? He possessed a big blue Dick Cheney? You’ve come to a premature full stop there, blurb.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Incidentally, the revised edition cover art is arguably even worse.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    The Nightmare of God is …. The Gods’ Temptress?

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    “Wait – I forgot my own safe word!”

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    Well, if you’re gonna die, you might as well die sexy.

  7. Yoss Says:

    This cover is a Ting tease.

  8. fred Says:

    Dean Stockwell and Sandra Dee did this scene much better in Dunwich Horror.

  9. David Van Domelen Says:

    Do we need an “Ow my spine!” tag?

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    He’s taken so long reading the instructions on the knife that the girl and the blue demon have nodded off.

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    It looks like he’s using an S&M ShakeWeight.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    It’s a good thing the priest-warrior-guy has crotch protection. With the design of that knife and the way he’s holding it, he could easily accidentally stab himself in his family jewels.

    And, as is a common trend on these covers, the damsel in distress looks like she just stepped off a runway and is participating in a photo shoot. *sigh*

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Like @David vanD, I’m not sure but what the damsel’s spine isn’t already badly injured. It’s an Escher Girls situation, for sure.

    @Yoss: yes! It should have had a glorious Ting!

    I’d say “What if the big slavering blue thing isn’t actually a monster, what if it’s influencing warrior to kill himself and then it’ll rescue the damsel?” But then I saw the even worse revised cover. Nope.

    OTOH, the revised one did realize that the words should go in the book, not all over the cover. On the gripping hand, it didn’t have sexy babe and mighty thewed warrior for punter appeal.

    If we ever find the prequel to this, it’ll have to get the “gibberish title” tag.

    Also, why did blurber Mr. Ass Drake get his name as big as the author’s? I never heard of either of ’em.

  14. Tracy Says:

    I see a guild navigator and the Fremen in the background.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Lumbricina: All right, let’s try this once more, from the top.
    Billy Joe-Bob: *ahem* Ia! Foo-en-glooey…
    Lumbricina: It’s ‘Ph’nglui’.
    Billy Joe-Bob: That’s what I said.
    Lumbricina: No, you said ‘Foo-n-glueey’. It’s pronounced ‘Ph’nglui’. It’s easy to form it, even with your human mouth…
    Billy Joe-Bob: Whatever, dude!
    Emily Jessica Ashley Sarah Lee Masters-Smythe: *zzzz*

  16. fred Says:

    Is that suppose to be an evil hat he is wearing or is his head too swollen with evil that an evil headband won’t fit?

  17. Hammy Says:

    @fred (16):

    Either it’s the pillbox hat of evil (so fashionable!), or he just grabbed an evil 70s wide leather belt with huge buckle to wrap around his head.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Judging by the belt around his waist, I think dude is into wide evil belts and evil big buckles. He can adjust it depending on how much evil is in his head at the time.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Oh, and from the quote, overly-wordy blurb, and art, I’m thinking there may be bad things going on in this book. It’s just a guess, mind you.

  20. RachelJ Says:

    So many questions-

    How many separate individuals are mentioned in the blurb? Do all three sentences refer to the same multiclass character? Or did Character #1 (the warrior) get possessed, while Character #2 (the wizard) turned to unspeakable evil, and one of them became Hell’s Champion? Or is Hell’s Champion Character #3? Are they actually the three beings depicted on the cover? And which is which?

  21. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. According to the internet, this book was never reprinted (until the 2006 “revised” edition) not because it sucked, but because it’s SO UNSPEAKABLY DARK AND TWISTED AND EEEEEVVVIILLLL. Okay.

    Btw, Is it time for a “human sacrifice” tag?

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: Oh, sure. A mass market paperback from a solidly commercial publisher is going to be TOOOO EEEEVVVILLLL. Pull the other one, Mark.

    It is way past time for a “human sacrifice” tag, I think.

  23. Hammy Says:

    Hey, if the EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL is ‘unspeakable’, that book’s gotta be pretty short, right?

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Maybe it’s “unspeakable” because it was over-described on the cover. Didn’t have anything more to say about it.

  25. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. No, no, it’s so unspeakably EEEEEVIIIILLL that the folk on Amazon and Goodreads can’t even bring themselves to describe how EEEVVVIIIILLL it is. However the following hilarious 5-star review of its allegedly slightly less EEEEVVVILLLL predecessor, “Zorachus”, may shed some light:

    “What makes this book great?
    I saw a review saying that “The book is a good read if you’re not put off by violence and graphic sexual content.” It is more than a good read, it is a great read that pulls you into the world of wizards, magic, religion, evil, and yes violence and graphic sexual content. Without the violence and graphic sexual content, this would have been a good book, but not great. Both of those things are needed for this book to work. In fact, the violence and the way Mark Rogers portrays it is amazing and I would love to see it on the big screen. There are wizards getting cut in half people, and not just cut in half, but the description of the body being cut in two has perfect descriptions. Buy the book!!!!!”

  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RachelJ: very enlightening! That’s the kind of review written by a fellow who’s cut his fair share of wizards in half and found it to be a really spiritually enlightening voyage. (Parenthetically, it’s fellows like him who are why wizards are in such short supply these days, I suppose. TagWizard, best put on a kevlar girdle.)

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: So… the cover IS an accurate portrayal of the book! Possibly not lurid enough?

    I see another review that says it has a strong Christian undercurrent and the writer is anti-gay and anti-kink.

    A review of this book says
    “The heretic priest is now hell-bent on total self-annihilation. His beliefs call for him to repent, but his soul refuses to let him. His solution to his dilemma is to bring the Dark Lord into his body, destroying the world and himself with it.”

    Also, it sounds like the books did suck.

    Later, the writer began another series entitled “Zancharthus”. He loves him some “Z” and “us”, doesn’t he? And it’s a prequel to this particular mess.

    And then he wrote a sequel trilogy, which is referred to as the New Testament to the Z**us’ Old Testament. And it has covers we need to feature here.

    Christian allegory extreme sex and violence!

    He should stick to comics — “Samurai Cat” is quite good.

  28. RachelJ Says:

    You know, if only the stripey blue monster were a bit more anthropomorphic, this would make a great alternative cover for Dr J.R. Asimov’s masterpiece, “A Man-tiger Between Friends”.

  29. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Sleaze has found its champion

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