Aug 29

Stoppa laffin at mia ponytail!Click for larger image

Il Gnocci dell'AlfredoClick for larger image

Hey Goombahs! It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday Dominic Flandri Special!

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1 Welcome to the Galactic Roman Empire!

#2 She’s my wife. My best friend. My beard. My human shield.

Published 1983, 1987

Thanks to Armando for sending these in.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.13 out of 10)

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29 Responses to “Italian Flandry”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: You can play Simon on his codpiece.

    2: “Do you suppose we could swap clothes?”

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Han Solo Mio

    2. Butt-plug City

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    #2: Is that the Mushroom Kingdom? Does Nintendo know about this??

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    I’m guessing Rowena is not a lesbian (though very possibly a gay man). It sort of makes up for the sexism of the other Flandry covers.

    Also, wouldn’t a codpiece made out of a giant iridescent beetle carapace be slightly uncomfortable?

  5. fred Says:

    Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh…………gold borders………me and gold borders are like Beavis and fire………..oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I want to see these books in the hands of a pasty, acne-ridden, sunken-chested, anorak-wearing Italian nerd with thick eyeglasses. The juxtaposition would be cosi bello.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Boris and Rowena: together at last!

    1. ‘The Little Prince’ grew up into a male stripper.

    2. ‘As the only bipeds in Weeble Playhouse City it falls to us to defend it to your… sorry, our last breath. And show off our impressive boot-wearing ability’.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Flandri é mobile
    Qual stud al vento
    Muta da codpiece—e la sua acconciatura

    Sempre un eroe
    Leggiadro viso
    Combattere o cazzo—una cattiva copertina

    Flandri é mobile
    Qual stud al vento
    Muta da codpiece—ma ancora uno tool

    [doo-da-da, doo-da-da]

    Ma ancora uno tool!

    (with apologies to Verdi, and anybody who actually speaks Italian!)

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Buon spettacolo, signore… Buon spettacolo.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I feel like these covers need a BRIAN BLESSED voiceover…but I can’t find Mr. Blessed speaking in Italian, or even dubbed well.

  11. Ray P Says:

    Both have a strong Starcrash! look.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    @Dead Stuff: presumably he was speaking Latin here

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I, um, er…

    I probably read these books or at least some in the series, and at no time is Flandry in an outfit like #1.

    WHAT is his codpiece made of, some alien beetle?
    Why is his holster on the left, when he’s holding his zap gun with the right?
    And the hair… not good for a seekrit agent who’s called Ensign Flandry in his first appearance, went to an academy and all that.

    The nubile babe on the second cover is all-too-accurate; Flandry’s like Bond with the girls he loves and leaves.


    NEVER FORGET this:

    the comments thereof, and the links to other tomes.

    Who’s worse: the Italian publishing house or BAEN! pew pew?


    I fear for the space-time-thews-skin continuum what with Boris and Rowena in the same post.

    She was supposed to be artist guest of honor at Worldcon 5 years ago but was too ill to attend. However, plenty of her art did and if you think it’s something here on GSS, you can’t imagine what it’s like full-size and in person.

    Boris was the artist GoH the year previous, and mighty thews were everywhere. Walk up to registration, there were barbarians and bikini babes printed almost lifesize. And ditto the art impact.
    He and his wife were very nice, chatted with everyone.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: “Ubi sunt aquilae mihi?” indeed! And I’m glad you linked to that video, it becomes ever so much easier to read things in a BRIAN BLESSED voice when you’re Milking the Invisible Cow ™.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC (8): bravo! bellissimo!

    My musical thought about cover #2 was less elevated… more along the lines of “These boots were made for groping, and that’s just what I’ll do…”

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @GSS ex-thumb: no, then the boots would need to be fitted for opposable toesies.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I was thinking more along the line of those are his special boots what he puts on when he’s gonna grope a gal.

    But then I realized this is Flandry, he’s gonna find him a lusty wench and grab her no matter what he’s wearing.

    #1 has weird abs.
    #2 has weird (and non-papillial) pecs.

  18. Tracy Says:

    Sorry to hear about Rowena.

    On the first cover, the poor guy looks like he is wearing a huge, hollowed opal over his genitals that extends behind his cojones. It must keep his thighs apart when he walks so he could only move at a waddle. And if that his long hair streaming behind him and not the plume from his helm, he’s going to be mercilessly teased.

  19. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 that’s a novel approach; put the chastity belt on the men instead of the women.

    #2 that can’t be Valejo because:
    A. The woman is wearing clothes
    B. She is standing on her feet instead of splayed on her
    knees .

  20. Chowderhead Says:

    #1: Looks like the chastity belt is too tight – his legs are turning purple!

  21. Anna T. Says:

    I can’t understand why Mr. Flandry got a haircut and bleach job between these two covers. The sexy space Roman look with the long, flowing locks suits him.

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    The woman in #2 is actually just a random hiker Flandry encountered. She’s cooperating with his delusions because he has a gun.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Some call him the space Roman,
    Some call him the groper of girls…

  24. Hammy Says:


    Some people call him Flandry.
    He once had a full head of curls.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    bravo, Hammy!

  26. JJYoyo Says:

    Coz he reeks of the Pompatus of Mars.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Looking at this again, how come Roman Flandry hasn’t had all the moisture boil out of his body, standing on that tiny rock that can’t have an atmosphere. Which means his hair and cape shouldn’t be blowing in the wind. Is this a polychrome statue of him that was put up on this asteroid?

    @JJYoyo: GSS.

  28. Hammy Says:

    @JJYoyo (#26):

    GSS! Gotta have the Pompatus….

    @GSSx-n (prev.):

    What about the solar wind? 😉

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: LOL. Since he hasn’t shriveled up and died, I’d say he’s definitely a statue, and the cape and hair are held out by wires, like they used to do with the Moon landing flags.

    I propose that his multi-colored codpiece be called “The Pompatus”.

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