Aug 22

Call me Sandy!Click for sheep removal

I know you're the Wolfman, but can you at least shave your pubes?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday Greenleaf Classics Movie-Now-Showing Extravaganza!

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1 Get your spacesuit on before you get cosmic-ray burn!

#2 Mike and Betty have second thoughts about that nice swinger couple they met on vacation.

Published 1966, 1969

Thanks to Roger for sending these in.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)

Tagged with:

20 Responses to “Queen of Blood & Orgy of the Dead”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    #1: “She must be some kind of nut to have a head like an acorn.”

    #2: “This is the last time we book an 18-230 holiday.”

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Having seen these films, Queen of Blood features no nudity but Orgy of the Dead does. In fact, Orgy of the Dead is more or less a bunch of strippers in a graveyard setting, so I can’t imagine what it’s like to read as a book. I’m sure Ed knew what he was doing (?).

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “From The Author Who Gave You PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE” must be the worst sales pitch of all time.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I find it confusing that the “MOVIE NOW SHOWING!” splash actually is inside the cover picture. Is it chasing the two astronauts?

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    @ARY #3: Or the best. Sadly, Ed doesn’t seem to have penned any sci-fi paperbacks, but he did write Killer in Drag, if anyone wants to send that in and pretend there’s a robot in it or something.

  6. fred Says:

    The movie stuff is great.

  7. Francis Boyle Says:

    Is it the Song of Songs where a woman’s breasts are compared to two ripe lemons. Wait, no, that’s never happened, ever. Breasts do not look like lemons, ‘artist’ of #1.

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #1: never seen someone so blasé about turning into a Hershey’s Kiss.

    #2: she seems a bit more inhibited than the lass on Monday’s cover.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 That’s always the way; you find your own private spot on the beach and some idiot tourists plop down right next to you.

    2. Man: “must not get boner, must not get boner, must not…”

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    What is Wolfman doing to that gravestone?

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    1. Boobs and hair = same shape???

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    I hope in the next movie the Queen of Blood attends the Orgy of the Dead. It will be like one of those crossover TV shows where the Fonz guest stars on Laverne & Shirley. Minus the blood and orgy of course.

  13. Lillie Awesome Says:

    @THX 1138: I once transcribed Orgy of the Dead for some reason I no longer remember, and it came to about 11 single-spaced pages, including stage direction and werewolf growls, so I’m going to go ahead and assume a lot of (probably plagiarized) padding in the novelization.

  14. Raoul Says:

    1. I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Ackerman.

    2. “Let’s save money by vacationing in Haiti, you said. Let’s book a room there on Airbnb, you said. Let’s go looking for an orgy in the local graveyard, you said . . .”

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I’ll bet it’s the same “Special Introduction” for both books. And the same “Movie Now Showing.” In fact, they’re probably the same book.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Or at least the same boobs.

  17. THX 1138 Says:

    @Lillie: This is splendid information. It also confirms that Ackerman’s special introduction is two hundred pages long and the story lasts eleven.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    #2: THAT Ed Wood! Wiki says the Emperor of the Dead was the ubiquitous Criswell (“future events such as these will affect you in the future”), and about the strippers. As dire as the cover is, it seems to be a completely accurate depiction of the 11 pages of screenplay.

    Bet those gals were cold at night in the graveyard and wished they could wear Ed’s Angora sweaters between takes.

    #1: Presumably the artist hadn’t seen these fine films, or indeed a real woman, as nobody’s breasts look like that.

    Forry was dubbed an honorary lesbian for his work with the Daughters of Bilitis, and he appeared in a lot of B-movies as well as editing “Famous Monsters of Filmland”.

    I miss talking to him at cons. He was a fascinating guy, full of interesting stories, and treated everyone equally.

  19. Anna T. Says:

    1. Is that weird acorn Kiss hat turning her on or what? Because she’s way, way too happy for someone who should be feeling breast pain because she hasn’t been breastfeeding.

    2. I sincerely cannot tell if the blonde lass is there voluntarily or not. The couple in back certainly aren’t. On another note, when I see a title like ”Orgy of the Dead”, I would assume some zombies, ghosts or other undead beings present, instead of it “merely” occurring in a cemetery.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Anna T: The couple in back are the obligatory young couple who stumbled upon the eeeviillll. The blonde is voluntary b/c she’s one of the strippers Ed Wood hired. Apparently zombie and ghoul strippers also appeared. The levitating skull is surely some sort of undead thingy. Not pictured: Criswell, who was pretty uncanny all by himself.

    The blonde and the redhead were played by the same actress!

    As for #1, Basil Rathbone is in one scene!!!

    Here’s the Queen herself:

    Perusing Wiki and IMDB, the shurikens may also be erroneous. Unless “now showing” also includes TV weekend Creature Features.

Leave a Reply