Sep 05
Click for larger imageDead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: PUSH HIM! PUSH HIM!
Click for larger imageDead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: The back side, featuring the least appealing excerpt ever proffered on this Web site.
Published 1973
You might remember this from here.
(Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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September 5th, 2017 at 10:43 am
Most epic skinny dip EVAH!!!1!!?!2!!!
September 5th, 2017 at 11:29 am
Thanks DSWBT, for showing us Richard Blade’s back side.
September 5th, 2017 at 11:57 am
“the least appealing excerpt ”
but…. insatiable women-warriors!!!
September 5th, 2017 at 12:44 pm
Damsel: “Wait, Blade — you just ate lunch!”
Blade: “What are you, my mother? YEAAAHH!!”
*splash*
Five seconds later:
Blade: “I’ve got a cramp! Owie! It hurts!!”
Damsel: “Told you so…”
September 5th, 2017 at 2:34 pm
Dick Blade’s poor eyesight means that he requires a discreet female to steer him in the direction of his targets.
September 5th, 2017 at 2:35 pm
The male posterior must feature heavily in this book.
September 5th, 2017 at 3:36 pm
@Tom Noir 5—Yes, and her disappearing right hand indicates the tiller she is using to steer him by.
September 5th, 2017 at 3:46 pm
The back cover excerpt proves one thing. Rocket = Dick dick. But the stagnant canal water thing…..Dick has issues.
September 5th, 2017 at 4:09 pm
It’s rather a shame that Lord Leighton didn’t do the cover: he illustrated at least one novel (George Eliot’s “Romola”). They could just have had a photo of this http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/leighton-an-athlete-wrestling-with-a-python-n01754 and saved us the unfortunate comparisons with Up-Helly-Aa.
September 5th, 2017 at 4:55 pm
@Tat Wood—is he wrestling that python or doing the tango? In the Fighting-with-Python genre, not quite up to Laocoön standards, wot?
September 5th, 2017 at 5:23 pm
“Uh, Dick? We brought fishing rods.”
September 5th, 2017 at 5:52 pm
@B.Chiclitz: embrace the power of ‘and’.
The statue’s primarily to show off that he can sculpt muscular young men, which is why I chose that rather than the many paintings of semi-clad women.
September 5th, 2017 at 5:56 pm
Ew. His brain flared and burst and melted into sluggish, bubbling shiny stuff running into puddles. Ew, ew, ew. Somebody get me a shop vac.
September 5th, 2017 at 7:08 pm
@Mellie M: thank you for noticing the back cover blurb! Electricity does NOT bubble! Goodnight.
September 5th, 2017 at 7:27 pm
@Tat Wood—good advice well stated, sir, although given the “either/or” of muscular young men vs. semi-clad women, I’m afraid I reveal myself as somewhat outdated by opting for the latter (although that Laocoön is sorta hunky).
September 5th, 2017 at 7:31 pm
From Hell’s groin, I thrust at thee!
For Booty’s sake, I grunt my bad breath at thee!
September 5th, 2017 at 8:36 pm
For once, the attractive damsel is wearing more than the hero.
September 5th, 2017 at 9:02 pm
@Anna T: Dick Blade wants to make sure that everyone is looking at his rippling, naked form, not distracted by whatever random skank he happens to be knocking boots with!
September 5th, 2017 at 11:22 pm
“Richard…. It’s time to stop. It’s been three hours. You can’t stab the ocean to death.”
September 6th, 2017 at 1:32 am
@Anna T.
First rule of Dick: You do not upstage Dick.
September 6th, 2017 at 3:05 am
YES!!!!
The triumphant return of Dick Blade!
Even in his less-lurid reissue covers, he still has that certain je ne sais blech.
The back cover could only be duller if it was Lord L and J in one of their government meetings. You’ve got a naked guy with a big spear, a nubile woman, and a burning Viking ship on the cover.
We know, thanks to Pulpfiles ,that the inside has plenty of sex and violence they could have used for the blurb, and yet… we get Blade’s Bubbling Brain.
@Mellie: No shopvac in Dimension X, I fear. That description sounds more like you’d need a hazmat team, though.
@Tat: So the appreciation of muscular men and, er… snakes is consistent in the Lord Leighton family, eh?
@F. Boyle: Nobody outshines Dick. Even with his very odd ribcage and pecs. Something went wrong when his puddle reformed in Sarna.
September 6th, 2017 at 3:14 am
@GSSxN: Surprisingly, the real-life Lord Leighton didn’t have any kids. I’m sure this amazes anyone who’s seen that statue but, as I said, he also painted several hundred naked women. His title was one of the shortest hereditary baronetcies ever, given to him very late in life and with no heir.
(Well, no legitimate heir: being a Pre-Raphaelite he was versatile in that department so there were many alleged dalliances of both sexes.).
September 6th, 2017 at 4:50 am
“That’s the last time I’ll take advice from G.I. Joe on how to lock your arms overhead for a fatal spear thrust. Now I’m stuck!”
September 6th, 2017 at 6:20 pm
But @B.Chiclitz….”knowing is half the battle”…isn’t it?
September 6th, 2017 at 6:57 pm
@Anti-Sceptic—indeed it is, good sir. But the question is which half?
September 7th, 2017 at 3:59 am
@BC: Dick does seem to have gotten his entire body locked up and stuck in that position, doesn’t he? The comely lass is probably trying to drag him away from the edge of the boat so he doesn’t topple over.
@Tat: I’m gonna pretend Dick’s Lord L is a second creation, for one of original Lord L’s illegitimate descendants. Makes more sense than anything in these books. Although Her Maj Liz 2 would disapprove of these shenanigans.
September 7th, 2017 at 4:17 am
@GSSxN: She’s descended from Prince Albert and has been married to a Greek sailor for seventy years. Her mum hung out with Noel Coward and they spend a lot of time with kilted Scotsmen. I think she’s pretty much unshockable.
September 7th, 2017 at 4:32 am
@Tat: Yes, but spending Our Pounds Sterling on giant computers and greasing up a guy who only manages to bring back small random objects? I mean, if one wants to do that sort of thing with one’s own time and sixpence, she’s obviously fine with it. But let’s not go around wasting public moneys. At least that Bond chap gets things done in between his roistering.
(6 degrees of separation: my mother had a mutual friend with Queen Mum. And yes, nothing shocked her as long as the G&T kept coming.)
September 7th, 2017 at 5:03 am
@GSSxN: sixpence? In which decade were these books set?
Fetching small random objects from far-off dimensions can be done for free; you just need to find the right costume shop. Anyone who’s been in Britain in the 46 years since decimalisation will know the one.
September 7th, 2017 at 5:29 am
@Tat: These appeared just before decimalisation.
September 7th, 2017 at 4:58 pm
@GSSxN: Well, then, all Lord Leighton needed to do to avail himself of a super-computer was pop into a Lyon’s Corner House for a pot of tea and a sticky bun.
https://www2.warwick.ac.uk/services/library/mrc/explorefurther/digital/leo/story/
September 11th, 2017 at 4:42 am
Possibly Lord L got his super-computer from a shop specialising in sausages, then. What with the grease and the you know what.