Oct 03

'Tarzan's Jungle Dance'Click for full image

Bad Cheetah! You can't have your BB-gun back!Click for full image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – French Tarzan Edition

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1. No need for Space Sheep. It’s French!

#2. Batsman of the Jungle

Published 1986, 1987

Thanks to Alain for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)

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26 Responses to “French Tarzan”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: “Now Tarzan make thinly sliced garlic!”

    2: Johnny “Loincloth” Why Smaller?

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Why does Lord Greystoke have “NO” written over his man bits?

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    Which part of the jungle does Tarzan get his fabulous hair products from??

  4. fred Says:

    1. Someone should burn in hell for screwing over Weismuller’s image.–tarzan-one-and-only.jpg

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Faux-nan, meet Faux-zan. I think you two will get along swell.

  6. THX 1138 Says:

    @BC #5: “Tarz-aren’t”, surely?

  7. Tom Noir Says:


  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:



  9. Tat Wood Says:

    Votre Prochain Spectacles

    And God Created Jane
    Les Parapluies du Congo
    The Discreet Charm of the Chimpanzee

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    Neo? Exit!

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Et Suivi Par:

    Gorillas in My Fist
    Bungtime for Bonzo
    Gorge of the Jungle
    King Schlong

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Bunghole in the Jungle

    2. Collect your Tarzan trading cards.

  13. Tag Wizard Says:

    I forgot I had the Tar-sham tag.

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Neo’ denotes that this is Keanu Reeves dreaming of being in a decent film

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Contestant # 2 looks oddly like Dudley Moore. Has anyone counted his legs?

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @fred (4)—you probably realized this, but I just noticed (I am a bit slow on the uptake sometimes) that cover #1 is the actual Tarzan photo you linked us to, with Tar-Sham’s head photoshopped on. You can tell by the bump on his right forearm, the shadow on his left thigh, the left hand which in the original photo seems to be grasping Jane’s or Cheetah’s hand, and other details. So it’s even more of a travesty than I had originally thought.

    I wonder if the same is true of the second cover.

  17. fred Says:

    @ B Chiclitz (16) – I strongly suspect #2 is an altered stock photo of some actor with the rifle replacing a vine.

  18. THX 1138 Says:

    Seeing as how a defining characteristic of Weissmuller’s Tarzan was his hatred of guns, I do hope that second one isn’t an altered pic of his.

    Also, “The Discreet Charm of the Chimpanzee” made oi larf.

  19. Raoul Says:

    The appalling Photoshop of the little Frenchman’s head on Weissmuller’s body makes that cover quintessentially GSS-worthy. 10 stars.

  20. JuanPaul Says:

    Moi Tarzan.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I see that in French, Tarzan has access to le salon for products and waxing.

  22. Lctwice Says:

    Mais Christopher Reeve? Et Patrick Swayze?

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @22: Non. L’équivalent générique.

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Tarzan, sitting in a tree, was overcome with ennui. He lit a Gaulois, studied the intruders down on the ground and considered the pointlessness of existence. Another expedition of white men in search of native treasure, he thought. Another futile gesture of the Western imperialist bourgeoisie. He read some Michel Foucault and considered suicide for the remainder of the afternoon. When he heard the screams of the white men as the natives surrounded them, he thought: C’est la vie…”

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ARY: So the knife is for cutting baguettes, or for the possible suicide attempts?

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    French Tarzan’s knife is there only for the cutting irony.

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