Oct 09

Cleanup on aisle 5 at the Chernobyl Wal-martClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: His balls were bit by a radioactive spider.

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “The Light of Lilith”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    An interesting early case of the “First Time In Print” tag — you can just barely make out “First Book Publication” on the right…

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “There’s nothing wrong with my new smartphone!”
    “Don’t try to fool us… we can see right through you!”

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Dear Sir,

    I am writing to return this pair of X-ray Specs as advertised by your company in the back of a current comic book. They have a fault which leaves me disappointed. I shall say no more, but expect a full refund.

    Yours, etc.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Someone whose first encounter at second base was more awkward than my own.

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    Is that… is that a butt??

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Fluoro vests were bad enough but this is health and safety gone mad.

  7. fred Says:

    The world just can’t have enough Fantastic Four origin stories.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Tell the pool boy to clean out the Jacuzzi.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Hey, you kids! Get off me First Book Publication!

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TagWizard: cover reads G. McDonald, tag reads J. McDonald.

  11. Tag Wizard Says:

    @DSWBT – But it’s a soft “G”.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    This Crystal Maze reboot is hardcore!

  13. fred Says:

    Emsh’s preliminary rendition.

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    The Amazing Transparent Man vs. the Hemorrhoids of Doom

  15. Anna T. Says:

    Is the ground growing . . . a scrotum? Maybe that’s where this man’s testicles disappeared to . . . and I don’t really want to know how time travel shenanigans could cause something like that, really.

  16. JuanPaul Says:

    Emsh is awesome. He just goes for it.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JP—Agreed Emsh is awesome, which makes the font problems even more ludicrous. The dark undertones of the cover are squashed by the title layout which looks like it belongs on a 1950s-era kid’s board game.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    My people of GSS:

    At a convention this past weekend, I went to a slideshow of bad SF/F covers. Most of them have been seen here. Then we re-enacted a few.

    I am pleased to report that upon being shown our old pal ISTBE fractal centaur, the Artist Guest of Honor literally shrieked and recoiled, taking a step away from the picture. Quite literally taken aback and repelled.

    In the reenactment, I played one of the bored background lizard women in (with my regular clothes on!) whilst the octopus was two people covered in jackets and hoodies. could not be re-enacted as the hero could not actually support the damsel in that position with one arm, being a mere mortal.


    As far as this cover goes, the Emsh original is much better. No testicles/buttocks rising from the ground, since the tentacles are much easier to discern; it’s more obviously some sort of strange creature, not subsumed in the pinkness. The people in the background look much cooler, and the transparent skeleton guy is much more defined. And, of course, there was no font abuse — what is that, 3 or 4 fonts, and one of them is goofy and hideous?

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @GSS ex-congoer:

    In the reenactment, I played one of the bored background lizard women in (with my regular clothes on!) whilst the octopus was two people covered in jackets and hoodies.

    This is the most entertaining news we’ve had in many moons. Is it available on YouTube? Good show, madam!

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSSXN – There has to be pictures!

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:


    There are photos! Some mild cutting and pasting are going to be done by the photographer (i.e. we bored women were shot separately from the swordsman and octopus).

    I will be notified when they’re ready and will pass them along forthwith.

    Someone I do not know was video-ing much of the action, but I’ve no way of knowing if or when his video might be available.

    The greatest complaints of all re-enactors were “I don’t bend that way!” and “Hurry up, I can’t stand like this much longer.”

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    …that’s what she said. 😛

    And, so did the fellow front and center on the cover. Good show, sir!

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DSWBT: During the show and posing, “that’s what she said” was spoken a couple dozen times. Really, it was the only phrasing that could be used.

    However, the whole exercise proved what the “anatomical issues” tag is for. Actual human beings cannot achieve those poses. The presenter/photographer is a professional artist and illustrator himself, and uses the GSS-worthy ones to show that too many cover artists never bother using models or even photographs of real people.

    He’d ask people to try to duplicate the covers, and they’d strike a pose kind of like that — standing naturally — and then we’d all point out how they differed from the final artwork. Much grumbling ensued while trying to do that, and in some cases it was impossible. Several of the models were thin and spritely adolescents, and even they couldn’t contort in those ways.

    One item clearly showed that the artist hadn’t used a model, a photograph, or ever seen an adult female in anything short of a burqa, much less the scanty thing he’d depicted her in. We think it was supposed to be an adult human.

  24. Muttley Says:

    I guess this was a follow-up from Jim Hines’ sleeper internet hit:)

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Yes, Jim has inspired many a con event. And a few artists/publishers have taken note. Jim and his publisher do live in fear of accidentally having a bad cover and having the internet fall on their heads. So far so good.

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