Mar 01

It's a trap!Click for larger image

Alice Comments: I have no idea what the title is. I have four to choose from. Perhaps it’s “Warren Norwood”

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Trapped!”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    The US government takes the next, most sensible step: arming drivers.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Quick! Grab my joystick! I need to start shooting!” he said offhandedly.

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    Cover blurb should say:

    From the author that brought you The Seren Cenacles and Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    TRAPPED in a time when hair care products have been outlawed! What will our well coifed protagonists do?

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    This is such an odd cover. Everything about it is overblown—garish colors, too much glossiness, incoherent font design, bulbous bloated buildings, confusing title placement—except that little declarative sentence in white: “He was the enemy of time.” No design elements, no context, and it even includes that fastidious little period (full stop) at the end, so we know for sure it’s a sentence. Really, does no one ever take a step back and look at these covers before publication?

  6. THX 1138 Says:

    Isn’t the internet the enemy of time? A novel of prophecy!

  7. fred Says:

    Is this a contest puzzle cover? Count the references to Alan Parsons Project songs and you win a sun dial.

  8. Francis Boyle Says:

    If rickrolling used book covers this is the cover it would use.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Time’ in the title and ‘Omega’ as the publisher. Either there’s a sports-watch promotion deal gone badly wrong here or Teilhard de Chardin was right and this is the final evolutionary stage of terrible covers.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    They missed a chance at a “time” trifecta. Should have read: ‘TRAPPED in time!’

  11. Alice Says:

    Bumper cars from hell.

    BTW there is some serious embossing on that “Time Police” logo.

  12. Raoul Says:

    Later volumes in the Time Police series were even more ridiculous.

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    ♫ Time Police in the streets
    oh yeah
    Scaring the nation with their guns and ammunition
    Time Police in the street
    oh yeah
    Fighting the nation with their guns and ammunition ♫

  14. fred Says:

    Why is there street lighting in broad daylight? He was the enemy of energy conservation as well.

  15. Anna T. Says:

    What’s with the eye-and-bleeding-clock logo?

    I’m going to make a prediction about when this was published: Late ’80s or early ’90s.
    The artwork has that vibe about it.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Just as time is infinite, so too are the number of fonts on this cover.

    I must beg for the “embossing” tag — not only the title words, but the ridiculous logo.

    At first glance, I didn’t realize dude and damsel were in a bumper car. Thought they’d been caught in a tsunami from a breach at the Campbell’s Tomato Soup factory. Why does her blouse match the cars? Do vehicles come in any other color? We usually only see this much orange from BAEN! (Can we get an “orange” tag, TW? Pleeeeaaase?)

    Pointlessly swoopy, blobby buildings with no windows. At least they’re not garish like the rest of the cover. Maybe the residents don’t want windows, so as not to be blinded by the colors outside.

    Depending on your country and your definition of football, they look like either Broncos fans or Rangers fans. With the grey buildings and the violence about to break out, perhaps this is Future Glasgow.

    The other volumes had covers in shades of dark brown, so I don’t know what gives with this one.

    @B’man, JP, fred: Good Show, Sirs.

    @Tat: I was thinking of the Time Lord Omega, who was Trapped! in the antimatter universe.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSS ex-Noob: ‘The Three Doctors’, as much as it looks like a 1972 edition of ‘Top of the Pops’ and ought to have Noddy Holder wandering in and scaring the Gel-Guards, was less lurid than this. But Omega escaped, aided by his giant pantomime chicken, and went to Amsterdam.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: I wouldn’t put it past the futuristic-yet-dull buildings on this street to be painted on wobbly flats, though.

    Also, I really don’t care for our hero and heroine on this cover, whereas I quite like the Doctor(s).

  19. RachelJ Says:

    @Tom Noir. Omega SF Books must have twisted Norwood’s arm really hard to get him to agree to call his latest novel Time Police rather than Scrumble of the Dingle Blonk or whatever the original title was.

    Edit: Or is it called Trapped? Still un-Norwoodesque straightforwardness, anyway.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: I think it’s called “Trapped!” One word, simple English. It is a wonder they got Norwood to agree to that.

    He must have insisted on the exclamation mark and the excess graphics/blurb in return.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da Time Police! That’s the sound of da clock!
    Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da Time Police! That’s the sound of da paradox!

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