Nov 16

Gahhhaaa it burns, it burns.... but I look so good....Click for full image

A hunky half-naked muscle encrusted man standing in a strange mist, while casting a magic fireball from his hand. The book’s called flame, so how could we not have one! Though, to go one step further, have him looking thoughtfully at the fire in his hand. That way people will think he’s all sensitive and deep.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.36 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “The Flame”

  1. SI Says:

    One for the ladies I believe. He’s casting a magic fireball, possibly a completely accurate example of a roleplayer?

    Oh dear.. I really hate these sci fi romance books. I just couldn’t resist taking a few pictures though.

  2. CSA Says:

    Yikes! Well i’m guessing i’m not in their target demographic for readers … or am i?

  3. little mi Says:

    Goodness me!

    Well, I’m not sure about some of the anatomy going on here. He seems to have a rather disturbing bump coming out of his side and it looks like his arm might be detachable. Also he looks a little upset about that flaming hand. I guess that last one is understandable really.

  4. SI Says:

    I have also just noticed the F is placed, well you can see.

    The bump on his side could be a burn mark. Learning how to cast fire might be pretty difficult.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    “…he looks a little upset about that flaming hand…”

    Jean Johnson’s Aaargh, My Hand Seems To Be On Fire. A Novel of The Sons of Six Hours a Day In The Gym Every Day.

    Also … what’s with his hair-do? ‘Mr Barber? No. not a short back and sides. Not today. What I’d like instead is for you to sculpt it over the shoulders like the back of Darth Vader’s helmet.’

  6. Roses Says:

    I believe Adam, that’s a swept back mullet.

    The ultimate in romantic haircuts, as all of Michael Bolton’s blue-rinse fan base will tell you.

    How’d he get so buff being a magician? Those fire balls must be heavy. No wonder he’s concentrating so hard on it.

  7. CSA Says:

    “How’d he get so buff being a magician?”

    I think we’ve talked about asking difficult questions about fantasy covers. Magic is the answer. If you can’t explain it logically, then magic is always a suitable answer. Magic made him buff and gave him a wind swept mullet. Q.E.D.

    Is “Aaargh, My Hand Seems To Be On Fire” the sequel or prequel to “Aaargh, The Lower Half of My Body Is Missing”?

  8. JustinLeego Says:

    So this is what happens if we don’t send enough covers in – the site goes back to Romance Mondays? Noooooooo

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    “Aaargh, The Lower Half of My Body Is Missing!” …“Aaargh, My Hand Seems To Be On Fire!” He’s having a rough day.

  10. SI Says:

    Justin > haha yea… well… I only got a few… prepare yourself mu hahahaha

    There is a strong possibility this guys house is on fire. And he’s lifted up a flame, as you do, pondering the meaning of existence in the wisps of fire.

    Or something along those lines.

  11. David Cowie Says:

    Can I really be the first person to notice the prominence of the word LAME on the cover?

  12. Ilya Chentsov Says:

    Yeah, he got an F in fireball casting, and that’s pretty lame.

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    This guy is definitely a flamer.

  14. Eleri Says:

    Read one of this series by accident. The half naked guy on the front covers of each are the only appeal.

  15. Brian B Says:

    I’m confused by the the lighting sources here. The fire in his hand apparently casts a shadow rather than light; one would think his face should be brightly light from the close flame, not cast into dramatic shadow. Also what’s up with the hair light from BEHIND his head?

  16. CSA Says:

    duh, its magic fire…

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    So, I thought I’d find some information about this book.

    This is the first hit that came up at Goodreads, except that everything was in German.

    Ich denke, dass Herr Darcy nicht an Elizabeth auf diese Weise aussahen, aber meine Frau würde kennen, glauben Sie…

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    Swizz – he doesn’t look anything like Noddy Holder.

  19. anon Says:

    The F is short for ‘f*cking’, but they couldn’t print it.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @anon: betcha it’s described in the text. Possibly with the word “throbbing” involved.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @anon—If the “F” really does stand for “F*cking” I guess the real title would be The Fucking Lame, which I have to admit I kind of like.

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “To be or not to be on fire, that is the question…”

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    And good thing it’s a short question, since “Aaargh, My Hand Seems To Be On Fire”.

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