Nov 17
Click for new Hi-res zoomWe all know what men want. Hunky muscles and tight underwear. No? Uh, strange stone monoliths? No? Leopard skin capes. No? Three horns coming out of his skull? What, seriously, no? Alright, have them all, but add two naked women caressing him. Classy eh? Actually, don’t answer me this time.
Thanks to CSA!
(Average: 8.46 out of 10)
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November 17th, 2009 at 6:27 am
That loin cloth/thong looks extremely uncomfortable. Way too tight.
* insert pun about him being ‘horny’ *
November 17th, 2009 at 6:57 am
It is a bit tight… hmmm…must be a cold day đ
November 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
looks like half his arm is leopard, not sure about the spikes coming out of his head and that seat looks pretty darn hard to get on and doesn’t even have a cushion. Where would the two delightful young ladies sit I wonder?
…on second thoughts don’t answer that question.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I love his expression: Oh God, not more sexy writhing women…again.
It must be so difficult to be that spikey and all muscley.
I am not entirely sure I would want to read a book that sounds like a phlegmic spit.
Nor am I convinced that I would be tempted by an author who admits to writing The Voyage of the Space Beagle.
November 17th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
“I am not entirely sure I would want to read a book that sounds like a phlegmic spit.”
The ‘P’ is silent. So, actually, is the final ‘H’. The Book of Tat. There you go.
November 17th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Voyage of the space beagle?? How the heck did I miss that one all day??
Better warn you Roses, CSA sent me a few covers with some naked women on them. He tells me he found them in a second hand book shop…. I think we know though…. we know…
November 17th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
i felt dirty just taking a photo of it.
I think i’d rather stroll into the porn shop 3 doors down and buy “Sex Trek the Next Penetration” on VHS than stand in line up to pay for some of the fantasy books i saw in the bookshop.
I don’t think a brown paper bag would be enough to hide that cover from the public, people would still somehow know id just bought a bad fantasy novel… they’d just know… I’d see them, judging me with their eyes…
November 18th, 2009 at 2:41 am
The _Voyage of the Space Beagle_? Don’t worry, it’s named after the ship Darwin travelled on, not the annoying floppy dogs. And the loosely-described ‘plot’ of the book is just like that expedition in no way whatsoever.
(God only knows what Panther did to *its* cover. The Book of Ptath is one book which would have been justified in having a Baen-style huge-explosions cover, so what did they give it? A softcore porn cover. I suppose it *was* a sixties publisher.)
November 18th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Adam, you’re not selling it to me.
Woo Hoo more naked, lusty women….right.
Umm…
I’m a very heterosexual woman.
Mind you, buff, spikey, half-leopard barbarian isn’t doing much for me at the moment. Actually, he didn’t do much for me yesterday either.
Nix, I’m trying to imagine the cover of Voyage of the Space Beagle…I bet it’s got a rocket, pastel sky, guy in a space suit, big gun and two scantily clad women clinging to his legs.
November 18th, 2009 at 4:19 am
If it makes you feel any better Roses and some what worrying on my behalf, I have taken a good few hunky men covers. So you’re covered there, though everyone of them seems to be built like a gladiator.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Aka The Book of Shwing! Aka the Book of Boing!
When all else fails … breasts.
February 1st, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Roses: I’m afraid my Panther edition of _Voyage of the Space Beagle_ is very boring and Pantherish. The book *is* mostly about the voyages of a spacecraft and the horrible dangerous bastards it encounters on the way, though as far as I know the spacecraft isn’t anywhere near as ridiculously-shaped as the cover illo. (I think a picture of Coeurl would have been much niftier, though it might have made Good Show Sir: an oddly-coloured panther with hands, after all… it’s somewhat strange *Panther* Books didn’t choose to do that, really.)
December 15th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Believe it or not, but that is EXACTLY what Silvio Berlusconi thinks he sees in the mirror.
June 13th, 2013 at 5:00 am
So the only thing required to be considered sexy is to be nude or close to it?
Face of a harpy, odd spaghetti arms, elongated and possibly dislocated wrist, but hey wait! Boobie! HOT!
June 13th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
This cover seems to imply that THE VOYAGE OF THE SPACE BEAGLE was written by The Book of Ptath. So the title must be A.E. VAN VOGT.
And another thing: needs “once you see it” tag.
June 13th, 2013 at 6:16 pm
Once you see it… it becomes your new level of color tone normality.
Thanks Mr C!
August 12th, 2014 at 8:03 pm
BAT HEFT POTHOOK
OFT TOOK HEP BATH
TAB KEPT HOOF HOT
BOTH OFT POT HAKE
HOT TEAK FOP, BOTH
FAT HOBO KEPT HOT
AH, FOB KEPT TOOTH
HATH FOB POT TOKE?
BOTH KEPT HOT OAF
and my personal favourite,
HOT TOP–BOTH FAKE
August 13th, 2014 at 3:10 pm
This cover could use a space sheep to protect my innocent eyes.
Right over that dude’s bulging crotch.
God, I hope someone gets here via Googling ‘bulging crotch’.
August 13th, 2014 at 5:11 pm
“Author Of THE VOYAGE OF THE SPACE CODPIECE”
August 13th, 2014 at 5:27 pm
*Ack*… *ack*…
*Harrrk* — ptath!!
Sorry, something got stuck in my throat.
August 13th, 2014 at 10:51 pm
God, I hope someone gets here via Googling ââŹËbulging crotchââŹâ˘.
As a matter of fact, Tom, I googled that phrase…and was taken straight to your LinkedIn profile. đ
August 14th, 2014 at 2:19 am
Yes, I’ve been a Lead Crotch Analayst in the codpiece industry for over a decade, and have taken the initiative on numerous projects to implement enterprise level jock straps, groin guards, war thongs and banana hammocks.
I have very reasonable consulting rates.
June 2nd, 2015 at 12:31 pm
Banana hammock…!! đ
[ROFL]
January 1st, 2016 at 2:14 pm
I like how it looks like that dude’s arm ends in a tiny leopard’s paw.
February 21st, 2020 at 6:57 am
“Ptath” sounds exactly like the noise I make when I’m trying to clear my mouth of the fur one of the cats has “helpfully, lovingly” deposited in it.
I haven’t read this one, but the cover matches the Wiki summary.
Even beyond the tiny horns, I’m puzzled by the… U… chair… thing at top, and the third eye between his pecs. Guess that’s why he has to be shirtless?
February 21st, 2020 at 8:47 am
More like the book of ptooie. (Not a Mario reference).
Looking at the larger version, the harpy on the right looks like she’s about to stab the guy right in the junk.
@GSS ex-noob: I suppose it’s his third eye of wisdom but he couldn’t put it on his forehead because he already had a horn there?
Re the voyage of the Space Beagle, Coeurl often gets the cover, but rarely to Coeurl’s benefit.
https://www.jwkbooks.com/pictures/13580.jpg?v=1305561204
http://www.icshi.net/sevagram/images/covers/novel/voyage1951-06.jpg
I had this edition, which didn’t look too awful.
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/voyage_of_the_space_beagle.png
February 21st, 2020 at 10:00 am
I’ve heard of a hair shirt, but furry underpants must serve the same function.
February 21st, 2020 at 1:58 pm
How to capture a unicorn bull man? Hint….not with virgins.
February 21st, 2020 at 4:00 pm
Is that âThe Bell Jarâ?
Oh, wait … âThe Book of Ptath.â
February 21st, 2020 at 5:39 pm
@Tor Mâsame thing just happened to me! At first glance I saw The Book of Plath and thought, “Oh, right, that’s exactly the kind of cover she’d appreciate.” And the crotched-horny guy does look more than a little like Ted Hughes.
February 21st, 2020 at 7:27 pm
“The Bell Jar” audiobook as read by Daffy Duck
February 22nd, 2020 at 2:56 am
why is my comment awaiting moderation? Is it because I included some links to “Voyage of the Space Beagle” covers?
February 22nd, 2020 at 2:57 am
@Bruce – https://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=15766#comment-781636
February 22nd, 2020 at 3:03 am
Thylvia Pthath.
February 22nd, 2020 at 5:44 am
If youâre taking a dietary thupplement, be thure it contains ptathium.
February 22nd, 2020 at 7:51 am
@THX: Even worse, I’d say.
February 22nd, 2020 at 11:12 am
Those furry underpants have a weirdly high waistband and. . what looks like two crotch bulges. Could it be that he is, in fact, suitably equipped for the task at hand?
February 23rd, 2020 at 1:44 am
@Francis: One of them’s up awfully high if so. Would there be enough room between them to, erm, accomplish the task? Maybe, depending on how bizarre the anatomy is under there — and it certainly seems to be.
@BC: Ted Hughes wished he looked like that. And probably wrote a poem about imagining it.
February 24th, 2020 at 12:12 pm
@GSS ex-noob
Never underestimate human, er, alien ingenuity.
February 24th, 2020 at 9:20 pm
@GSS ex-noob: if you know Hughes’s work from school and not just the pantomime-villain created by the Plath Thesis industry and that godawful Gwyneth Paltrow flick, there’s one in ‘Lupercal’ that, er, stands out:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Help_desk/Archives/2011_November_8#ted_hughes_-_dick_straightup (it’s remarkably hard… sorry, tricky, to google the actual poem without a lot else getting in the way).
February 25th, 2020 at 1:35 am
@Bruce: that last “Space Beagle” cover is a pretty good Coeurl.
We, of course, have the SFBC cover, which is again GSS-worthy.
http://www.isfdb.org/wiki/images/8/84/THVGFTHSPC1982.jpg
@Tat: any of these?
https://www.poeticous.com/ted-hughes
I pride myself on avoiding all things Paltrow.