May 21

Here's Johnny!Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: “Just wanted to let you know I’m in the Olympic torch relay! Now I’ll wall you back up.”
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “Edgar Allan Poe: A Collection of Stories”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    If your mansion house needs haunting, just call… Rentaghost!

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    “I pity the fool!”
    “Ha ha. That never gets old.”

  3. Alice Says:

    “Please unchain me. Promise the King I’ll stop doing improv.”

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    You’d think, after the lambasting ‘Gotham’ got, that a prequel to ‘Green Hornet’ set in the 1430s would have been stopped as soon as the pitch was in.

  5. fred Says:

    Revenge is a dish worst served cosplay.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    This is painful to look at. For one, this is not at all how Montresor is dressed in the story, where he is in a long black cape, a “roquelaire.” Fortunato, the guy in chains, is an aristocratic fool, not a pudgy knock off of the Maytag repairman.The story is hysterically funny enough on its own, but this cover reduces it to cheesy slapstick. I apologize for breaking the 4th wall and commenting on the text, but I love Poe so much that I can’t help myself.

  7. MakkaPakka Says:

    …including “The Fall of the House of Isher” (a story about the bankruptcy of a famous weapon shop)

  8. Lillie Awesome Says:

    I’ll let you all in on a little known and very dark secret: the real spine tingler about this scene is our poor harlequin is actually Frank from the Department of Public Works, who came to the Tor offices years ago to do a monthly water quality inspection, and has been held captive in the darkest recesses of the Art Department, posing against his will for their silliest covers. Some people say if you turn on all the faucets in the Executive Suite ladies’ room at the same time, you can hear his eerie moans of protest at the ridiculous costumes he’s forced to wear rising up through the pipes.

    /true story.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Lillie A (8)—Thank you for the inside story. You have redeemed the cover for me, sort of. 😉

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    If Mel Brooks had a go at Poe…

  11. Raoul Says:

    @MakkaPakka #7 – Good show sir!

  12. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well, it certainly brings out homoerotic subtext in Poe’s stories. Which according to Google is totally a thing.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    For the love of God, Paul Jennis!

    I don’t remember any jesters in any of Poe’s works.

    I wonder if this art was intended for some other book (which did have harlequins) and someone said, “Hey, dude’s walled up, let’s use it for Poe.” We have come across cases of that before.

    @Tat (4): It might be a prequel to Green Arrow. Who I think exists in the same universe (sometimes) as Harley Quinn. Who the chained dude might follow.

    Yes, the DC Extended Universe makes more sense than this cover.

    @MakkaPakka (7): GSS! Impressive.

    @Lillie (8): All is explained. I wanna ask Teresa Nielsen Hayden about the faucets in the ladies’ room now.

    @Francis (12): There’s nowt so queer as Poe?

    Eesh. I just now noticed the font. More horrific than some of the stories.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Martin Short in the role of a lifetime!

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—Well, Fortunato (the victim in chains) does seem to be dressed like a jester: “The man wore motley. He had on a tight-fitting parti-striped dress and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells.” That’s part of the story’s irony, like the name Fortunato itself. But he doesn’t look anything like this guy, I’ll wager. By the way, Poe seems to have invented the word “parti-striped” in this sentence.

    Sorry to be a geek—occupational hazard.

  16. Longtime_lurker Says:

    GSSxn: Hop-Frog, which I don’t blame you for forgetting. Not a real pleasant story, even by Poe’s standards..

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: But did Montresor look like a cut-rate Renaissance Robin Hood?

    @L_l: I absolutely don’t remember that.

    Must confess that my earliest exposure to Poe was the Saturday afternoon Creature Features on TV, the Roger Corman movies with Vincent Price.

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—Those movies weren’t half bad. Corman and Price were geniuses of a certain type. And no, Montresor doesn’t look like this walking inanity. He does have the “black silken mask” but his main garment is the (we assume also black) roquelaire—a voluminous knee-length hooded robe.

  19. Hammy Says:

    @A. R. Yngve (#14)

    That’s it! I was trying to figure out who the guy on the left was. The guy with the torch looks like Eric Idle to me….

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Torch guy could be either Eric Idle or David Tennant. Either in a wacky team-up with Martin Short would be entertaining, but nothing like “Cask of…”

    @BC (18): I still have a fondness for them, microbudget and all. And Vincent Price was a treasure.

  21. Raoul Says:

    Obviously the guy on the left is Jimmy Durante.

  22. RachelJ Says:

    Ah, this must be illustrating the previously undiscovered alternative ending to The Cask Of Amontillado, where Fortunato’s best friend knocks a hole in the wall to rescue him. No wonder they both look so happy!

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Dude! Montresor was drunk off his ass and bragging about how he walled you up, so I grabbed a torch and a sledgehammer! C’mon back to the party!”

  24. StevenLP Says:

    “For the the second ‘L’ in ‘collection’ let’s use a totally different font to the rest of the word – including the first ‘L’, for, you know, reasons …”

    And chosing “A Collection of Stories” as a title, displays a lack of, well, mystery and imagination. Plus “Welcome to your nightmares” as a tag line – shouldn’t there be an adjective before ‘nightmares’?

    Taken with the insipid cover, clearly nobody was trying very hard.

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