Jul 30

'Not embarrassing enough. She'll never get a job at Baen.Click for larger image

Tag Wizard Comments: Nicola Alter writes the Thoughts on Fantasy blog and last year she set out to create an over-the-top fantasy book cover including all the standard fantasy clichés. As she wrote:

“I’ve encountered a few covers that take it a bit far, but I thought it’d be amusing to go even further, and have a bit of fun with the tropes of my favourite genre… so here is my recipe for a no-holds-barred, all-boxes-ticked, epic high fantasy book cover (accompanied by examples from the most clichéd design I can muster).”

Well, we here at Good Show Sir! consider ourselves the experts on bad covers. So we’ll be the judge of that!

So check out her post where she walks you through the steps:

How to Make a Clichéd High Fantasy Cover

And be sure to visit the rest of her site and welcome her to join us here at Good Show Sir: the home of ethnic and erudite book cover curation.

Published 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Last Assassin of the Unseen Throne”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Nice to see the Celtic knot on there. Or the Celtic – not! as it’s known around here.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    Alternate title: Assassin’s Screed

    Nice job, Nicola.

  3. MisterBob Says:

    Its missing a New York Times review by Anne McCaffrey saying
    ” this one is on my shelf ”
    ( … the one next to the fire . )

  4. fred Says:

    Broken, great, and chosen in the tag line are highly interchangeable.

  5. fred Says:

    Also missing is mention of the author’s previous writings and awards/nominations.

  6. SI Says:

    Top quality! Just missing a shuriken of approval!

    They make up though with a border…. something even Good Show Sir the book was missing!

  7. Dr. J.R. Asimov Says:

    Hey I had this idea first!
    How come no one is sending me any love?

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    My dear Dr. Asimov,
    It is true your cover anticipates the conception shown here, however I am sure you will concede that when it comes to production values, it’s a tad underwhelming compared to this one. Plus you don’t have a blog.

    A. Reader

  9. Tor Mented Says:

    This cover deserves the first Mega-Ting tag.

  10. Yoss Says:

    It is a bit busy, but this hits all the clichés squarely enough that I didn’t start to register it as tongue-in-cheek until I hit the “N.R.R. Alkin.”

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Didn’t we see this last summer when I pointed it out?

    Is this a summer rerun, Tag?

    Doesn’t matter, it’s still fabulous, a thing (and ting) of beauty and a joy forever. And the mouseover text is perfect.

    I award it a TING!, a mega-Ting! and everything possible.

    Do we have a “boat” or “ship” tag? “tower” “bridge” “arch”?

    If she shrunk or moved the mysterious amulet, there’d be room for “Wow!” — Anne McCaffrey blurbed upon it in yet another font. Or whoever’s picked up the nonsensical blurb torch now that’s Anne’s gone.

    The only thing this is missing is Font Abuse. Not enough typefaces in not enough horrible colors. But a nice embossing would help.

    Anyway, I hope Alison comes by, or at least is pleased that we haven’t forgotten her swell effort.

    I’m going to Worldcon in 2 weeks (ack) so I should find plenty more. Even though my last batch (featuring plenty of Gord Dickson) haven’t all been used. That reminds me, I have a couple books I’m donating to charity that I need to photograph before I let them go. I’m giddy imagining what wonders will await in a dealer’s room full of both new and old books.

  12. Hammy Says:

    Nicely done. I agree that it is missing that certain je ne sais quoi – more fonts, particularly in multiple colors and embossing, a scantily-clad Amazon with her arms around the hooded one’s ankles, something….

    Oh, and the Author’s initials need more Rs.

  13. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I give it a 8/10…It’s missing the all-important heavily-cleavaged damsel in distress.

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    You know what’s missing?


  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @ Tat Wood— 😉

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: I’m sure the second book of the Chronicles will have Unicorns! The hooded hero will be riding one, with the raven on his shoulder.

    Or maybe he’ll be riding the dragon (with shoulder raven) and a Unicorn! will be the mighty steed of the damsel with cleavage.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The other thing (of many) that I like about this is it duplicates the questionable perspective/anatomy of many books we’ve seen here.

    The armored hand holding the Sword of Mega-Ting! for example. It might be his, or it might be reaching in from the side to say “Look at my fabulous sword.”

    The glow might explain the hoodie (sunglasses not having been invented yet), although the black cloak isn’t going to help hide him with a sword that could double as a lighthouse for that harbor.

    (I wonder about swords that glow when Eeevil is around; wouldn’t that just make it easier for Eeevil to find you?)

  18. Tiffany Says:

    Docked points for missing the obligatory Cat People.

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    @Tiffany: Oh, I don’t know. Cat persons seem more at home on the cover of a Baen sci-fi. If this type of cover had any half-human or humanoid creatures, they would be orcs, trolls, elves, etc.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Come on, you can do even worse than that! Show us some breastplate cleavage! Or a “Celtic” tattoo…!

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