Oct 15

Harper's BizarreClick for larger image

Martha M. Comments: “They call me ‘The Harp and The Blade'”!

“And they call me … uh, ‘The Other Blade'”!

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “The Harp and the Blade”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “Fear not, bold companion – we WILL find the Pride March!”

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Dude, even in the painting I can tell its a wig. This is one mid-life crisis that not going to end well — unless time-travelling druid fantasy is a thing and they do find the gay pride parade in which case ridiculous hi-jinks will ensue and everyone will come out of it just a little wiser.

  3. MakkaPakka Says:

    Now revealed, Stonehenge hosted WWF tag team wrestling.

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    Suede’s Richard Oakes and Brett Anderson unveil the band’s new image.

  5. MakkaPakka Says:

    & is Ian McShane carrying the Holy Hand Grenade?

  6. fred Says:

    They should be standing on the ‘blade’ of the Cerne Abbas Giant.

  7. THX 1139 Says:

    Is the author going to get the papers, get the papers?

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Onward to the Druid village! We shall receive many a fine candy treat this Halloween!”

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Heaven, we’re in heaven
    And despite those GSS remarks so snide
    We’ll be reveling in Druid days gone by
    But we’re mostly goin’ out dancing
    Thigh to thigh

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    After this painting was taken, they tripped out on mushrooms and used their mighty thighs to go henge-tipping.

  11. Raoul Says:

    “Onward to the Renaissance Faire! Our small-stage act of sword tricks, trad music and improv comedy shall receive much applause this season. And we might even sell some of our CDs!”

  12. fred Says:

    Druidic weathercocks.
    The dagger handle looks a wee bit narrow for use in combat.

  13. B. Chcilitz Says:

    @fred—and young boy seems to be lacking a scabbard for his sword. Where does he park that blade, anyway?

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    “Harp gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I’m told.”

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    This is just before they leveled the hill next to Stonehenge in order to create a more dramatic setting.

  16. fred Says:

    @13 – B. – Red Capes scabbard looks roomy. He probably docks it in there.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The husband says, “The Harp and the Blade, and the Lightning Rod”.

    Really. Look at those clouds, and he’s standing on a hill in an otherwise flat plane, hoisting several feet of steel up in the air. His hand’s on H&Bs shoulder, so they’re both going to get zapped.

    @Raoul (11): GSS!

    Those are some very meaty thighs. This couple never misses leg day. Somewhat neglecting their pecs/torso, though.

    The giant loincloths look like they’d be awkward and uncomfortable.

    This is from 1985, when we should have known camp when we see it… checks artist’s name. Oh yeah. He knew.

  18. Anna T. Says:

    They’re really underdressed for Iron Age Britain, because it sure doesn’t look like the height of summer in that picture.

  19. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Hi there, this is Stonehenge. Still don’t have anything to do with druids.”

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Anna T: Going by my experience, they’re underdressed for Stonehenge even in the height of summer in today’s climate.

    @Bruce: Not only is Stonehenge not druidic, neither is the term “England”. Nor the bare legs.

  21. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “Here is my blade that I hold high…..and here is my harp that I play…who holds his own harp”

  22. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I assume the term “England” is being used for the convenience of readers that would be confused by the term “Alban.” Of course, still going to annoy Scottish, etc. readers who hate it when people get “Britain” and “England” confused.

    True, the bare legs are clearly creeping Conanism,

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Alban. Pretanic. But FFS, Druidic and Stonehenge ought to be enough to get the locale across.

    Not that the illustration is worrying about anything actually historical. I mean, I’ll give them the harp and the really long swords and maybe the boots, but the rest of it is NKP&EFP (No Known Period and Extruded Fantasy Product).

    Emphasis on “fantasy”, I guess, with Stonehenge, no trousers, and Faux-nan the lightning rod.

    @Tag: I could see this taking the “faux-nan” tag. Do we have a tag for “thews” or “mighty thews”? It would get a lot of use.

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Hey, I just realized it’s actually those wacky Athenian cutups Harmodius and Aristogeiton!

  25. RachelJ Says:

    Oh, nice. I was just looking for an image that embodied Fantasy Barbarianism in its most clichéd purest form.

    Though, maybe they need a little more fur. What do you think?

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: I agree. Replace the giant loincloths with fur for purity. And also b/c they look so stupid.

  27. Khaki Says:

    “Two Quantum Leapers find themselves in pre-BCE England; unwilling to admit their true origin to each other they try to set right what once went wrong, unaware that they are, in face, what it is that went wrong.”

    Reviewed (but not read) for episode 32 of Cover My Ass:

  28. A. R. Yngve Says:

    The Harp and the Blowhard

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