Feb 28

Badger Books are the bomb! Stinkbomb. We’ve gotten a number of Badger covers over the years, most of which have sat unused (mainly because Tag Wizard couldn’t meet the high bar we set for alt-text humour). So we figured if we piled enough Badger Books into one heap they would reach critical mass and burst into flames, solving our problem.

So let’s have a go at our first Badger Books Megapost. Today’s theme is

Damsels in Distress,

or, Badger those Babes!


She'd run faster but her skirt won't allow itThe Girl From Tomorrow

Hey that's the number plate of my car!U.F.O. 517

I've got more pulsating cells to show youNight of the Black Horror

I hate these new dance club spotlightsMind Force

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. “I come from the future to … rock your world!”

2. Whence did they come? Thence must we run! Hence.

3. “Get away from me, Nerd!”

4. This is where you’d expect to find Bow-tie Man!

Thanks to Marvin and Roger T. for sending these bad boys in.

Published 1961, 1965

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Badger Books Megapost”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    1: “I’m whacked, do you mind if I just collapse here?”

    2: “Quit throwing chicken feeders, Adamski!”

    3: It may be a night of black horror for you, but it’s a moment of wonderful inspiration for a manga artist.

    4: Hey, two sets of identical twins! What are the odds?

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. It’s just a planet. No need to run.

    2. Run

    3. RUN!

    4. Oh no! They’re doing the spotlight dance. RUNNNNN!!!!!

  3. fred Says:

    1. That ginormous hypodermic syringe seems a wee bit awkward to use on a patient.

    2. Bad King Whenceslas initiates world conquest.

    3. Make her an obvious transvestite and you have the ultimate Ed Wood production.

    4. Don’t often see a random 7 ft man in an hysterical crowd stampede.

  4. Raoul Says:

    2. “No way! Not three probes in one day.”

  5. MakkaPakka Says:

    I wonder if the UA or their children got to apply the India Rubber Stamp of Meline Approval, or if that was the preserve of Mr(s) Badger themselves. And did he think carefully about where it went (its a different place on each one), or shut his eyes and stamp randomly. Perhaps we shall never know.

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    1. The girl from tomorrow has travelled in time to tell the girl from today to put on jeans in the morning.

    2. “Dammit, Henry, these flying hubcaps! I told you we shouldn’t by a house next to a freeway!

    3. Did questions marks cost extra in the early 60’s?

    4. Starring: Marcello Mastroianni, and Marcello Mastroianni, and introducing, Marcello Mastroianni!

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. See, this is how you do the twist.

    2. No, this is how you do the twist.

    3. You’re both wrong—THIS is how you do the twist.

    4. Those who open the cover of this book will feel their minds melting without them.

  8. Francis Boyle Says:

    1. She came from a future where women wear sensible shoes and stupid skirts.

    2. Who cares whence they came? All you need to know is that the 517 UFO is all stops to Wolf 359 and then express to Procyon.

    3. Formless? Seems like quite a bit a bit of form there, especially when that dress finally slips off. Oh, are you sure this book’s not called Attack of the Sentient Boobage.

    4. Panic! at the tea dance.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Badger Books brings you Moderately! Alarmed! Women!

    1. She came from a strange land of long thighs and short calves.
    2. From inside the hollow Earth, you ignoramus.
    3. Brains aren’t formless, and when fresh they’re about as damage-resistant as scrambled eggs. Perhaps you are getting your giant brain confused with The Blob?
    4. Looks more like eyeball force to me.

  10. Hammy Says:

    1. Her proportions are *so* weird – not only short calves and long thighs, but her neck is a few inches too long and Her head seems too big. And is that a submarine in the green glass globe that’s BEHIND YOU, lady?

    2. They came from the land of cocktail dresses and ballet flats! Oh, you mean the UFOs!?!

    3.That’s not a brain. That’s a furry octopus….

    4. Woman in lower right: “Oh my. There goes Leo again with his tacky mind-control rays…”

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:


    1. Clearly a result of future evolution gone wrong!

    4. She _does_ have more a “I forgot to take the souffle out of the oven!” or “Oh dear, George is wearing a lampshade and heading for the piano” look than a “OHGOD MY BRAIN IS MELTING” look.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    You can’t fool me, they’re ALL by Fanthorpe, right? It’s the one thing I know for sure. 2/6 was the cost, and 2 days, 6 hours was the max he spent on each one.

    Bow-Tie Man is supremely perfect on #4!

    #1: her strange culture forgot to put buttons on that front seam placket thingy like we did here on Earth.

    @fred, regarding #3: I’ve looked at the boob shape and the middle of the neck, and you’re correct. I’ve got suspicions about #1 too.

    Badger Books: Everything’s BEHIND YOU!

  13. Hammy Says:

    @GSSxn (prev.):

    1. She *does* have a rather square chin, as opposed to a more lady-like pointed chin.

    As far as buttons are concerned, maybe her culture was just way more advanced in using snaps instead.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: I see no evidence of snaps either, but am willing to concede that they might be there. If so, she’s using them completely wrong. They’re too tight at the top, unsnapped and gapping along the middle of her ridiculously long thighs, and yet tight down around her presumed knees. She and her skirt are completely unprepared for whatever or whenever she’s doing.

  15. Tracy Says:

    I love the fact all the women look only slightly put out and not terrified as these situations suggest.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Do you understand how hard it is for me to look at Cover #2 and not make a Trump joke? Can you fathom how much I must struggle to avoid making that cheap, obvious comment? Can any of you realize, how much a man can hurt inside?

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    @ARY: We’ve all been there. Each and every commentator has wrestled with this very issue.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    The first three covers look like all the girls were doing the twist, but got interrupted by a planet, ufo, or alien….you know the usual stuff.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    They might have been attempting The Twist in the nightclub in #4 before whatever that is happened, too.

    “come on baby, let’s do The Twist… BEHIND YOU! RUN!”

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