Apr 08
Click for full imageTypical blonde helpless maiden, possibly a wench from the local drinkery. Then a typical bartender looking guy with perm, a wooden magic wand, a glowing wrist band and a red misty entity coming from the side. Come on… do I have to think of everything?!?!
(Average: 5.31 out of 10)
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April 9th, 2009 at 11:18 am
It looks like a Mills and Boon romantic drama… but with magic missiles…
January 6th, 2013 at 11:58 pm
Or is that a paintbrush?
September 20th, 2013 at 1:02 am
Ah yes, a masterpiece of the art of marketing! A true triumph! A veritable tour de force! Amazing! Hits all the high points! Let’s look closer…
1. Bland and generic title that imparts only the vaguest impressipn of what the story may be about.
2. Suitably bland cover art in a color pallette that is close to monochromatic and does not utilize any color known to attract the eye.
3.The artwork is also nicely crafted. Nothing really specific, with just the barest hint of action. Perfect!
4. Absolute lack of any description or even hint of what the story may be about. No point in counteracting the effect achieved by the titld and artwork.
5.Potentially complimentary blurb from a suitably obscure magazine. Why choose a blurb from a magazine potential readers may have read? No, much better to choose a publication that is primarily a resource for writers!
6.Shiny gold embossed title! Oooh, shiny! Readers can’t resist the shiny! They must have the shiny because the shiny is good!
There you have it. The epitome of the craft. Every psychological cue struck with precision. Guaranteed to fly from the shelves.
September 20th, 2013 at 5:02 am
@FoM—Good dissection. Also the font—the “K” appears to be saluting.
September 20th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
‘Hello! I’m the Queen! I want to be your friend! There, there, big fellah. There’s nothing to be afraid of! You know, I think he’s friendly…’
‘IZ GONNA YEWZ MAH MAJICKS AN TURN YEW TO A FINE RED MIST!’
*pew!*
‘…damn.’
September 20th, 2013 at 5:09 pm
How I long for a typo to make the cover remotely interesting, such as:
“Master is chesterful”….
September 20th, 2013 at 7:04 pm
@A.R.Yngve—or
“Master is chesterful.”
~~Extrapulsations
February 27th, 2016 at 11:44 am
Thousandth best teary lib on National Kegger Life
Dr. Borat H. Cheese
“Masterful chest expositions!” — L. Ratear
HUNTIN’ THE KEG, seq.
January 24th, 2017 at 2:29 am
FëarofMüsic (that’s how it always appears on my screen) has analyzed this perfectly. It couldn’t be more generic. Who’s going to pay five quid for generic?
I love anon’s anagrams. Is s/he still with us?
July 13th, 2019 at 12:07 am
I AM THE MALE MODEL ON THIS COVER and I cracked myself laughing when I read this! 😅😂🤘 Love it
July 15th, 2019 at 4:57 am
Ben, please tell us more! I don’t think we’ve ever had a cover model here.
Was that your actual hairdo? Was it hers?
Were you and she really in those outfits? And what were they like to wear?
How long were you on set?
Was the set just a blank stage they took your pictures on?
Did your arm get tired holding the magic wand?
Did you get paid a reasonable amount?
How did you even find this online?
I have so many questions.