Jun 03

OK, sneak up on him while he's attacking the cameraClick for larger image

Chuff Monkey Comments: I can read lips. He is saying “Oi!” in a thick Cockney accent.

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.10 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Giants in the Dust”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    This is from the not very well known Doctor Who story where Matt Smith stripped off while practising his gurning and several thousand fangirls died from an excess of squee. You may not remember it because the human race has an extraordinary aptitude for forgetting.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    The beasts were king… until Varnum bared his torso.

  3. THX 1139 Says:

    “There’s a vucker born every minute.” – P.T. Varnum.

  4. MisterBob Says:

    Less a spear,more like a toothpick – perhaps Varnum is looking for a dentist ?

  5. fred Says:

    So it’s a Dick Blade rip-off w/ bare teeth replacing ass. Lots of different body parts to bare if one cared to write a series.

  6. anon Says:

    Viler Choad
    Greg Teven Tan stains hide briefs, has warm bulk

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    Tip toe through the tundra.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    No way that lunar lander stands upright on those spindly legs—way too top heavy. Also appears to be too small for the astronauts to fit inside.

  9. Anna T. Says:

    @Francis Boyle: Amen! I could not have put that better, much less funnier. That is a perfect explanation for WTF is going on here.

  10. Ray P Says:

    The Apollo landings were obvious hoaxes – one can clearly see Tarzan stood near Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (or their stand-ins) in several photographs.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The beasts were king—’til Varnum bared his fangs and bit the top off of that second “b”!

  12. JuanPaul Says:

    Epic tar-sham wedgie coming right up.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    The blue picture seems to be a poster for a film about arthritic astronauts and Kyle McLachlan’s stood in front of it shaking his stick. Maybe he’s at the pictures and wants popcorn but can’t remember the word (or is being very Method when promoting his new film, ‘Tarzan’s Y-Fronts’).

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    If you held a spear in your hand like that, note that it would have to line up with your knuckles. But the angle of this spear is off. I surmise that this chap’s expression is due to the fact that the spear isn’t held in his hand — it’s stuck through his fist.
    Can’t explain the lack of blood, but there you go.

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Astronauts: “Be very verry quiet: we’ve hunting Varnums!”

    The cover is confusing. The blurb, and the goofball with the pointy stick, seems to suggest some sort of “barbarian hero fighting back against the monster men/thinly disguised foreign stereotypes oppressing his people”, but the guys in spacesuits on what appears to be the Moon (if the planet which has apparently mugged Saturn for its rings is indeed Earth) seem to be taking part in some entirely different story. Are the Beasts the ones in the spacesuits?

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    And Varnum froze in a very uncomfortable position, having just put his back out.

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    Speaking of dust, looks like underwear boy has been smoking a ton of it.

  18. Francis Boyle Says:

    Now I want a Dick Blade TV series starring Matt Smith complete with weird chest prosthetic. Good thing he can do comedy.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Varnum is baring lots of things, but no fangs, multiple. He’s got one stick, something wrong with his right hand, and some slipped discs. I don’t think the beasts have much to worry about.

    @Francis: GSS! Exactly perfect. Although I heard it was due to the Silence popping into the shot and causing the forgetfulness, because nobody else in the universe wanted that in their memories. Or possibly the Beeb realized how stupid it was, and only this one shot survived.

    (As an American Whovian of decades, I’m still stunned and happy that we get the episodes the same day, instead of anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 years late. And that the sets don’t wobble any more.)

    @BC: I suppose if they scrunched up really small they might fit, which would explain their posture. No explanation for how it stands on the tiny legs, nor why they’re in suits and Varnum’s only in his scanties.

    @Bruce: what you said.

    @anon: good as always. His expression fits the first and last line.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Houston, we’ve found a man here on the plain… half-naked, frozen in place! It’s as if he tried to space-walk in his underwear! Over!”
    “Houston to lander! Can you find any explanation for this, uh, strange sighting? Over!”
    “He must’ve been a first-class moron. Over!”

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