*This was before internet so we can forgive the artist’s confusion**.
**Though probably not their ineptitude***.
***Though that’s miniscule compared to the incompetence of whoever came up with the title.
In case the crappiness of this one reminds you of anything, “W. Lambert III” is apparently William Maltese, who is also Karl Klyne, perpetrator of this fiction masterwork.
And why has the slice Faux-nan opened up in the monster’s stomach turned into a second face? How does that even work, especially as Mouth 2 is now vomiting some sort of blood or lava?
This is as close as I can find for a book review of this mess:
Encores in Fade by W. Lambert III, Carousel, Hollywood 1981, 160pp, wraps, $1.75
Hard to imagine what the title could possibly mean! The cover shows a monster – reptiloid but with 6 legs on each side and a Godzilla-like head and torso and three eyes – disemboweled by a Conanesque hero armed with a sword (we are told toward the end that it has a gorninean handle) and shield. The first chapter is named “The Ending” and the rest are named for characters, some of them unpronouceable (Qrlic defeats me, at any rate), and introduced with quotes from an imaginary and incomprehensible book called “The Beginning”.
Hard to tell the inventions from the typos – the word “pellpmell” seems from context to be “pellmell” – but I don’t think we can blame the “goolit” killed by the “tenger beam” on the typesetter. Or the “sin-sinto guidance plate”. But from the context I would have expected “operation” where we find octol-peration.
I bought this to send George Wells for his bad book collection, but I may keep it for my own….
@JJYoyo: don’t be silly. Tom’s never been that buff.
I see you’re wandering through the archives like I did when I first got here. I’d say “Enjoy!” but I’m not sure that’s the right exhortation. “Endure!” maybe?
@GSSxN: I meant Tom was the three -eyed Gorn. Also, I just noticed that the Valentin Serov- styled Conan has carved the Gorn’s belly like a Jack-o’lantern. Thanks for the welcome. I am going mostly random atrocious cover to random atrocious cover. The comments really are hilariously astute ( or is that astutely hilarious?) Either way, it’s like I am back watching MST3k only with a lot more Servos and Crows.
October 2nd, 2019 at 10:18 am
“It’s OK, I saw this in The Empire Strikes Back!”
October 2nd, 2019 at 11:23 am
Hey kids, it’s a paint by number set! You too can recreate this epic battle scene.
October 2nd, 2019 at 11:29 am
Encores in W. Lambert.
October 2nd, 2019 at 1:56 pm
“Encores In Fade” competes with “Tarra Khash – Hrossak!” for the #1 spot as Dumbest Spec Fic Title in Recorded History.
What the #¤%&*# does that even mean?? Is it something to do with music?
“And here’s Miles Davis, doing the encores in fade that the doubters said no one was able to play, in his unforgettable track ‘Black and Blue Tones’…”
October 2nd, 2019 at 2:25 pm
It’s an old publishing adage – “Nothing sells like entrails”…
Oh, I mixed up the quotes… it’s “Nothing REPELS like entrails.”
October 2nd, 2019 at 3:27 pm
Gorn slash* fiction. You knew it had to exist.
*This was before internet so we can forgive the artist’s confusion**.
**Though probably not their ineptitude***.
***Though that’s miniscule compared to the incompetence of whoever came up with the title.
October 2nd, 2019 at 3:31 pm
At least the artist has tackled painting feet otherwise i’m pretty sure this is a tangerine dream album .
October 2nd, 2019 at 3:52 pm
It looks like Faux-nan’s pants are down around his ankles.
October 2nd, 2019 at 4:06 pm
In case the crappiness of this one reminds you of anything, “W. Lambert III” is apparently William Maltese, who is also Karl Klyne, perpetrator of this fiction masterwork.
October 2nd, 2019 at 4:09 pm
All those years carving Hallowe’en pumpkins stood Faux-nan in good stead when threatened with a good licking.
October 2nd, 2019 at 4:25 pm
Not only is this a Faux-nan character, his pose is a direct ripoff of Conan’s pose on the Frazetta cover for “Conan of Cimmeria.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conan_of_Cimmeria
October 2nd, 2019 at 5:22 pm
Monster’s tongue is wrapped around Faux-nan’s sword hand. Obviously a case of harikari.
October 2nd, 2019 at 5:56 pm
@Rick Deckard: Hara-kiri, actually.
And why has the slice Faux-nan opened up in the monster’s stomach turned into a second face? How does that even work, especially as Mouth 2 is now vomiting some sort of blood or lava?
October 2nd, 2019 at 7:06 pm
Another winner from Mr. Klyne. Story, not cover.
https://www.fantasticfiction.com/l/william-lambert-iii/jason-and-astronauts.htm
I think I’ll stay away from Maltese’s early gay porn stuff.
October 2nd, 2019 at 7:51 pm
Cute Ugg-boots on Faux-nan
October 2nd, 2019 at 8:08 pm
@Alice—I particularly like the Cuban heels. Makes it more dramatic as they do the Sabre Dance.
October 2nd, 2019 at 8:41 pm
This is as close as I can find for a book review of this mess:
Encores in Fade by W. Lambert III, Carousel, Hollywood 1981, 160pp, wraps, $1.75
Hard to imagine what the title could possibly mean! The cover shows a monster – reptiloid but with 6 legs on each side and a Godzilla-like head and torso and three eyes – disemboweled by a Conanesque hero armed with a sword (we are told toward the end that it has a gorninean handle) and shield. The first chapter is named “The Ending” and the rest are named for characters, some of them unpronouceable (Qrlic defeats me, at any rate), and introduced with quotes from an imaginary and incomprehensible book called “The Beginning”.
Hard to tell the inventions from the typos – the word “pellpmell” seems from context to be “pellmell” – but I don’t think we can blame the “goolit” killed by the “tenger beam” on the typesetter. Or the “sin-sinto guidance plate”. But from the context I would have expected “operation” where we find octol-peration.
I bought this to send George Wells for his bad book collection, but I may keep it for my own….
October 3rd, 2019 at 2:24 am
Ooh, we’ve had his “Starship Intercourse” here before. (NB the quotation marks!)
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=12661
@Tag Wiz: booties again.
@fred: Explains the buffness of the chap.
@Raoul: good link, and delightful zine!
December 11th, 2021 at 5:15 pm
The First Samurai. Starring Tom Cruise.
December 11th, 2021 at 10:30 pm
@JJYoyo: don’t be silly. Tom’s never been that buff.
I see you’re wandering through the archives like I did when I first got here. I’d say “Enjoy!” but I’m not sure that’s the right exhortation. “Endure!” maybe?
December 12th, 2021 at 12:24 am
@GGS ex-noob: we endure the pictures, enjoy the comments.
December 12th, 2021 at 4:56 am
@GSSxN: I meant Tom was the three -eyed Gorn. Also, I just noticed that the Valentin Serov- styled Conan has carved the Gorn’s belly like a Jack-o’lantern. Thanks for the welcome. I am going mostly random atrocious cover to random atrocious cover. The comments really are hilariously astute ( or is that astutely hilarious?) Either way, it’s like I am back watching MST3k only with a lot more Servos and Crows.
December 13th, 2021 at 4:16 am
@JJYoyo: This is where I say, “don’t be silly, Tom’s never been that tall.”
Maybe wee Tom’s the top part of the monster, sitting on some other guy’s shoulders.
December 13th, 2021 at 4:27 am
@GSSxN: well, if it is a panto Gorn, Tom might not be the top half…. I don’t know. Let me consult with my attorneys