Oct 02

Gutsy cover artClick for larger image

Klaatu Comments: My candidate for the Louvre of bad cover art.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “Encores in Fade”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “It’s OK, I saw this in The Empire Strikes Back!”

  2. Gene Hunt Says:

    Hey kids, it’s a paint by number set! You too can recreate this epic battle scene.

  3. fred Says:

    Encores in W. Lambert.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Encores In Fade” competes with “Tarra Khash – Hrossak!” for the #1 spot as Dumbest Spec Fic Title in Recorded History.

    What the #¤%&*# does that even mean?? Is it something to do with music?

    “And here’s Miles Davis, doing the encores in fade that the doubters said no one was able to play, in his unforgettable track ‘Black and Blue Tones’…”

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s an old publishing adage – “Nothing sells like entrails”…

    Oh, I mixed up the quotes… it’s “Nothing REPELS like entrails.”

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Gorn slash* fiction. You knew it had to exist.

    *This was before internet so we can forgive the artist’s confusion**.
    **Though probably not their ineptitude***.
    ***Though that’s miniscule compared to the incompetence of whoever came up with the title.

  7. MisterBob Says:

    At least the artist has tackled painting feet otherwise i’m pretty sure this is a tangerine dream album .

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    It looks like Faux-nan’s pants are down around his ankles.

  9. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    In case the crappiness of this one reminds you of anything, “W. Lambert III” is apparently William Maltese, who is also Karl Klyne, perpetrator of this fiction masterwork.

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    All those years carving Hallowe’en pumpkins stood Faux-nan in good stead when threatened with a good licking.

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    Not only is this a Faux-nan character, his pose is a direct ripoff of Conan’s pose on the Frazetta cover for “Conan of Cimmeria.”

  12. Rick Deckard Says:

    Monster’s tongue is wrapped around Faux-nan’s sword hand. Obviously a case of harikari.

  13. Anna T. Says:

    @Rick Deckard: Hara-kiri, actually.

    And why has the slice Faux-nan opened up in the monster’s stomach turned into a second face? How does that even work, especially as Mouth 2 is now vomiting some sort of blood or lava?

  14. fred Says:

    Another winner from Mr. Klyne. Story, not cover.

    I think I’ll stay away from Maltese’s early gay porn stuff.

  15. Alice Says:

    Cute Ugg-boots on Faux-nan

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Alice—I particularly like the Cuban heels. Makes it more dramatic as they do the Sabre Dance.

  17. Raoul Says:

    This is as close as I can find for a book review of this mess:

    Encores in Fade by W. Lambert III, Carousel, Hollywood 1981, 160pp, wraps, $1.75

    Hard to imagine what the title could possibly mean! The cover shows a monster – reptiloid but with 6 legs on each side and a Godzilla-like head and torso and three eyes – disemboweled by a Conanesque hero armed with a sword (we are told toward the end that it has a gorninean handle) and shield. The first chapter is named “The Ending” and the rest are named for characters, some of them unpronouceable (Qrlic defeats me, at any rate), and introduced with quotes from an imaginary and incomprehensible book called “The Beginning”.

    Hard to tell the inventions from the typos – the word “pellpmell” seems from context to be “pellmell” – but I don’t think we can blame the “goolit” killed by the “tenger beam” on the typesetter. Or the “sin-sinto guidance plate”. But from the context I would have expected “operation” where we find octol-peration.

    I bought this to send George Wells for his bad book collection, but I may keep it for my own….

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ooh, we’ve had his “Starship Intercourse” here before. (NB the quotation marks!)

    @Tag Wiz: booties again.

    @fred: Explains the buffness of the chap.

    @Raoul: good link, and delightful zine!

  19. JJYoyo Says:

    The First Samurai. Starring Tom Cruise.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: don’t be silly. Tom’s never been that buff.

    I see you’re wandering through the archives like I did when I first got here. I’d say “Enjoy!” but I’m not sure that’s the right exhortation. “Endure!” maybe?

  21. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GGS ex-noob: we endure the pictures, enjoy the comments.

  22. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: I meant Tom was the three -eyed Gorn. Also, I just noticed that the Valentin Serov- styled Conan has carved the Gorn’s belly like a Jack-o’lantern. Thanks for the welcome. I am going mostly random atrocious cover to random atrocious cover. The comments really are hilariously astute ( or is that astutely hilarious?) Either way, it’s like I am back watching MST3k only with a lot more Servos and Crows.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: This is where I say, “don’t be silly, Tom’s never been that tall.”

    Maybe wee Tom’s the top part of the monster, sitting on some other guy’s shoulders.

  24. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: well, if it is a panto Gorn, Tom might not be the top half…. I don’t know. Let me consult with my attorneys

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