Nov 20

'Servant girl, ready the penis pump!'Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: “Do you have to interrupt us now? Do your hoovering later.”

You might remember this from here

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Meanwhile”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Did the blurb writer possess a hat with an arm holding a mallet on it? He seems the type.

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    Wil Wheaton had to take whatever gig came his way after he got cut from the Star Trek cast.

  3. fred Says:

    Mocking the same trial and tribulation Dick Blade suffers in every adventure isn’t silliness but sacrilege.

  4. drlemaster Says:

    “Yes, I got tired of always needing to keep my legs crossed in these skirts, so I had this prosthetic leg added to my throne. It’s been quite handy.”

  5. Raoul Says:

    The queen runs a tough year-end performance review

  6. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Could I suggest that anyone who doesn’t know the book already should look it up on Goodreads? The description is absolutely priceless. With what I know now, the cover doesn’t seem entirely inappropriate.

  7. Anna T. Says:

    The second woman looks like someone trying to do a “sexy sci-fi soldier” costume and going in a really odd direction.

  8. Ray P Says:

    You don’t need to watch Dynasty to have an attitude

    Current reports suggest the audience room at Buckingham Palace resembles this.

  9. Rick Deckard Says:

    Is that a pizza on the floor in front of the queen?

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The mouseover text is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

    This cover is perhaps less bad than the original? Maybe? And it doesn’t have the interior illustrations, as seen in the earlier post. I wouldn’t read this book in the privacy of my own home, much less on a bus. I’m guessing the embossing is shiny copper-colored and so doesn’t photograph well.

    The word “Meanwhile” nowadays conjures up the thought of Stephen Colbert’s frequent and beloved segment. I wonder if he and his writers have seen this, the other cover, the illustrations, and the description of the book? He’s a big sci-fi nerd and former pubescent boy.

    @JP: well-spotted.

    @fred: This does look like 75% of Dick Blade’s adventures.

    @drlemaster: Feet are hard to draw, as apparently are more than one leg.

    @Anna T: She looks like she’s got a hairdryer helmet on.

    @L_L: Thank you so much for the Goodreads mention. It was superb. Particularly liked the guy who said he found it in a squat. The Amazon link shows the hardcover edition (heh heh, hard), which is more surrealistic and less porny. Which I think is missing the point of the book.

    @Ray P: The publication date suggests Dynasty, though. I hope QEII isn’t dressed this way!

    @Rick: Plain cheese, thin crust that’s gluten free with broccoli and kale*. The crust explains why it’s on the floor. Maybe helmet girl’s going to hoover it up. Maybe dude is in cuffs for offering it.

    *This is a real thing that exists. I personally stick with moderate crust, all the gluten, and pepperoni. Which is tonight’s dinner here at Chez GSSxn.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    @Rick Deckard (and I never thought I’d really be typing that in November 2019):
    It can’t be – they’d get them from the Woking branch of Pizza Express.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Meanwhile, someone is drawing much superior cover art.

  13. Line Noise Says:

    No “font problems” tag? If ever there was a cover that had “font problems” isn’t it this?

    GSS ex-noob: “The mouseover text is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.”

    Wait . . . GSS has mouseover text?!?!? :mind-blown:

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Speaking of possible inspirations for Colbert, does anyone remember a music video, 90s maybe, where the visuals included words on screen, in the format “meanwhile, such and such was happening”, including one bit which was along the lines of “meanwhile, X (one of the musicians) is now contemplating a SOLO project”)? This “meanwhile” business has brought it to mind, and it bugs me I can not remember either the title or the band.

  15. Paul Says:

    The woman in purple isn’t a soldier. She’s from Advanced Throne Room Plumbing Inc. That’s her nuclear powered plunger.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Van Halen, I think. “Right Now” instead of “Meanwhile”.

    @Line Noise: enjoy!

  17. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: you are of course correct. Darn cheap brain!

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    MEANWHILE… a copy editor awoke on Monday morning with a terrible hangover, remembered the blurb he had scribbled down last night at crunch time, and realized with a sinking feeling that he had to throw up.

    MEANWHILE… an artwork editor beheld his work, an embossed logo smeared across the cover like a printed scream of despair — and despaired.

    MEANWHILE… an artist walked to the bank with hurried steps, thinking: I hope this check won’t bounce.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: we had a couple months of MTV Classic for free, so my cheap brain was reminded of it recently. Else I’d have been fuzzy too.

    The light/bright blue Quasar logo adds to the hideousness by not even bothering to blend in.

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