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Oct 05

I almost saw things no human should ever seeClick for larger image

Lord Kelvin Comments: Hey, my eyes are down here!

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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15 Responses to “Beware the Beasts”

  1. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    Trying their best to look in the other direction, apart from the one at the back that seems to be checking out his arse.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Bare the Beasts – ew! (anag.)

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    A close analysis of the the in of the leftmost floating-modesty-eye thing suggests our sculpted-from-butter Adonis might be possessed of something he wouldn’t want any human to see. Or maybe it just melted.

    Moral of this story:never skip the “100 ways to hide naughty bits” class at the UAI.

  4. fred Says:

    Eye see what you did there. There, got that one out of the way.
    I expect this title and blurb could work with any cover in the GSS archives.

  5. Bruce A Munro Says:

    He’s actually wearing clothes, but the Beasts have X-Ray Specs powers.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    ” . . . some of them even published things, seemingly books.”

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    “I can’t take my eyes off his junk!” – Jack Faragasso

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    What can be over his head that distracts him from floating eyeballs but leaves those eyeballs unmoved?

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    Beware, the beasts have learned to use stencils.

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: he’s been around floating eyeballs all week, but a red-cockaded woodpecker isn’t a bird you get to see every day.

  11. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Wonderful blurb. Just beautiful. A perfect word salad.

    “Some of them even came back – seemingly alive…”

    Many of them didn’t come back – seemingly not seen again.

    However, some of them came back seemingly dead.

    All of them came back – or not. Seemingly dead or alive.

    Very few of them came back but seemingly returning.

    (Feel free to continue…)

  12. A. R. Yngve Says:

    That Mormon underwear looks even stranger than rumor suggested.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Exactly who are “the beasts” — the floating eyeballs or the naked people?

    @THX: Almost worthy of our occasional visitor @anon!

    @Francis: I agree. I suspect nipples aren’t the only thing he’s missing.

    @Tat: Is the dude reacting to the title hovering above his head? Like “Only NOW do you warn me? AFTER the eyeballs are looking at my bits?

    @ARY (11): the blurb-o-matic was stuck on “random” that day. GSS.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: you’re implying either the naked guy isn’t human or that the floating eyeballs are.

    …unless the “They” in the sentence “They dared invade the beasts’ realm and saw things no human should ever see” aren’t human, in which case we have nonhuman creatures seeing things no human should ever see (like naked guy’s junk?) but might be fine for them. Or maybe both the naked guy and the eyeballs are beasts and there aren’t any humans at all in this story. Man, now I’m getting confused.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ruce: why not both? Blurb is non-specific too.

    If cover practices are the usual, we presume naked guy is human (though may now be sans a few parts)..

    And yet I don’t generally consider floating eyeballs to be “beasts”. Aliens, sure; creepy, sure — but beasts is an odd term for them. Not that odd phrasings are unknown to this blurb.

    Maybe the beasts are in the dome city.

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