Mar 01

Manifest Destiny, Mofos!Click for larger image

Tristram Comments: The Freedom Rangers go back in time to sink the Spanish Armada and make absolutely zero changes to future history.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.88 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “Sink the Armada!”

  1. fred Says:

    I loved it in ‘Avengers Endgame’ when Scott Lang had to be convinced this book series wasn’t how time travel really works.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    Don’t worry, America! Guns will fix everything!

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Rewriting history The American Way, with guns and dodgy perspective. So, basically, business as usual.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    This Gilbert & Sullivan reboot blows

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    It’s the fifth book. It’s not new anymore. Unless, due to some timey wimey stuff, the fifth book is actually the first.

  6. Ryan Says:

    Those are quite the bouffant hairdos for an ostensibly military outfit.

  7. Tor Mented Says:

    That’s it. Armada here.

  8. SI Says:

    “No gloves…. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  9. SI Says:

    Actually I swear I have seen that guy with the uzi on a 80’s game cover somewhere….

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    Igor and Grischka travel in time to undo History’s Biggest Mistakes – starting with their cosmetic surgery.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The author: a man with 3 first names.

    I get that the title is supposed to be imitating military stencil spray-paint letters, but then the A is completely wrong.

    @Francis: And only the white guys have guns, because ‘Merica.

    @Ryan: It’s because they’re plastic, molded on that way. Look at the guy on the right and tell me he isn’t a GI Joe with a wonky waist and hip joint.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    …so the Armada wouldn’t have sunk if they hadn’t gone back in time to sink it? But wouldn’t the US not exist in the first place if the Armada hadn’t sunk? Time travel mechanics made more sense in Bill and Ted’s first two adventures/journeys.

    The cover is so patriotic that it’s scowling at me and telling me I’m un-American for not running out (well, going to, nowadays) and buying it.

    @JuanPaul: maybe the author cranked these out one every other month so it’s still pretty new by volume 5.

    @GSS ex-noob: I think Spanish Conquistadors count as white guys? Maybe?

    (Although it’s a bit hard to say if that’s an actual Conquistador or a Lego Conquistador. The artist used up all his representational skills by the time he was done with the bouffants. )

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    This particular battle of the past is, of course, a recent US election. And now Florida Man Matt Gaetz and other “peace loving,” patriotic, gun-toting devotees of a certain Former Leader vow to protect his hieratic statue from the murderous hordes of Antifa even if it costs them, their lives!

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    To save America’s future, they must stop a time-traveling plot to assassinate the founders of McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: He’s not yellow, so I’m going to say he’s a Playmobil Conquistador.

    Also your first 2 paragraphs are also what I was thinking.

    I bet this book came with one of those gizmos they put in greeting cards so when you open them, they play music. It blasts a tinny shortened rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner”. Just so everyone on the bus knows you’re only on the socialist public transportation because your Hummer is in the shop.

    @BC: and that statue was made in another place the Conquistadors conquisted!

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @gssxn—Wonder who paid for it.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    I see a business opportunity here… get this:

    A series of books – with movie and streaming video options of course – about a crack team of extremist “freedom fighters” [*snort*] who travel through history and change events according to directives from Orange Man himself…

    Ow! Stop hitting me! I was only kidding…

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