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May 05

Art Direction: Just paint me a sword. A big fucking SWORDClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: A SWORD so big it can only be carried by a three-handed warrior

Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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15 Responses to “The Sword of Aldones”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    He-Man and his friends surprise Skeletor coming out of the shower.

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Well, it can’t be that much of a sword if it doesn’t even warrant capitalisation.

    The publication date should be 1963, I think. There’s plenty of proof here that Nineties covers could be every bit as awful as this, but it was a different kind of awfulness.

  3. fred Says:

    Is chocoholicism a cosmic force? How about the need for speed? That blurb opens up a big can of worms. Is a big can of worms a cosmic force?

  4. drlemaser Says:

    “Yeah, it’s the time-knife. We’ve all seen it.”

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    @Fred: ask Muad’dib.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    The Sword of Al Done’s. Al is going to want it back when you’re done.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    When Art Direction (cousin of Al Done) demanded a really big sword, he apparently forgot about the hilt. Compared to yesterday’s, this sword barely has any hilt at all. Maybe they should switch hilts.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    ALL HAIL THE HYPNOSWORD

  9. Tor Mented Says:

    (Guy in back:) Oh, sure, I tried to l warn you about grabbing an electrified sword. But does anyone listen to me?

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The sword is a metaphor for clean electrical power banishing the demon of pollution and soot (seen in the back) and the cover is sponsored by GE.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Is the squiggly black face in the background Aldones, who’s aghast at the one to three people who are grabbing his/her/their sword?

    @Francis: agreed — this is definitely from the 60’s Ace Double run.

    @BC: Yes, the hilt is so small one hand can more than cover it — what the other two hands think they’re going to grab is a mystery.

    GSS to @JP, @Tor, and most especially @Bruce. If you turn the book over, maybe Reddy Kilowatt appears on the other cover.

  12. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “For God’s sake, use the rubber gloves…”
    *BZZZT-ZAPP*
    “…morons.”

  13. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Tired of Lion-O always thwarting his plans with the Sword of Omens, Mum-ra finally creates his own sword: The Sword of All Doneness. It makes sure every meal you cook is all done.

  14. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Blurb, simplified:
    “They got electrocuted.”

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Yes, and irradiated too, Mr. Smart-Ass there in the back row.”

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