Feb 07

Perfect for your Red Wedding buffet tableClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Less successful idea than The Chocolate Fountain.

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.60 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Blood Fountain”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    “Behold the glory of my head arm. I’ve got another one. Let me show you that one too.”

    [Sighs] “Why do I get all the pervert villains?”

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    “Look, I didn’t know you were both from Test of the Twins!”

  3. fred Says:

    The wizard toes are totally gratuitous, but nicely drawn.

    Now we know the hero has had pretty much the same wardrobe w/ just slight variations in design. This guy is all about functional fashion, just like Mr. Blade.

  4. Bob Says:

    I did promise you a wine fountain, and look at you now. Not a good show, no siree.

  5. Tor Mented Says:

    Notice the hand-shredding dagger that the wizard is wielding. This is a GSS pet peeve of mine. I want to see a rule that artists who depict weapons like this should have to make a real-life version and use it … once. They won’t paint another weapon like that — probably because their drawing hands will be shredded.

  6. A. R. Yngve Says:

    He’s a hipster wizard – chocolate fountains are so last decade, now it’s blood fountains that are the “in thing” to impress guests at parties…

  7. NomadUK Says:

    ‘Yes, waiter, that’s right: Not only is it a thoroughly indifferent cabernet, it’s corked! Prepare to die!’

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Fountain of blood, check; lightning-ball, check; carving-knife, check. Now all I need is about 400 miles of intestines and some pepper and my control of the pre-Byzantine black-pudding cartel will be complete.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    Your blood fountain debt must be paid…in blood!

    Please remit payments to Blood Bath Catering.

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: either blood pudding mass production or a really fancy birthday bash for vampires. (Perhaps the guy on the floor isn’t dead: he’s a vampire and he’s already seriously overindulged.)

  11. Tracy Says:

    So this is how Luis Royo paid the bills! He’s more known for his sensuous, somewhat grumpy, diaphemously-clad women.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Yes! I admit it. My ridiculous dagger has shredded my hand, but not before it sliced off your nose and lips, Cenotaph Road Boy!”

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Geo. W.
    Wow. Buy some more letters there, George.
    Yrs.etc, GSSxn

    How do they keep the blood in the fountain from clotting? Magic, I guess. As others noted, it does look more like wine. Which would be much more popular, if less threatening.

    Hero there looks like he’s run face-first into something very hard and it permanently flattened his face. Either that, or he’s part pug.

    @fred: The artist seems to have a fancy for appendages — he’s detailed all visible toes and fingers, even the dead guy’s. Showing up all the artists who can’t draw feet.

    @Tat: hee!

    @BC: are they both going the way of the Black Knight of Python fame?

    ISFDB says he was born George Wyatt Proctor. Which still beats Geo. W.

    None of the 9(!) books in this series can muster more than a 3.6 on Goodreads.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    In my younger and less discerning days I did read through Cenotaph Road and at least a fair amount of two other (can’t recall if I finished them) Vardeman series, but of Swords of Ray Millan I have no memory whatsoever.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSSxN – Yes it’s probably just red wine. You could also order the white wine fountain. Depends on whether it’s a Red Wedding or White Wedding.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I’m thinking the proud and gratuitous toe rendering is a simple distraction move, leading us to think he could draw a real foot—if he wanted to. However I don’t see any proof of that. Toes and fingers are easy, but there’s not a “real foot” in sight. I’ll bet he’s no better than your average UAI grad in that department.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    In the midst of the party, a piercing scream of horror from the restroom silenced all conversation…
    The host smiled and declared: “It’s all right, people! One of the guests was probably surprised by my newly-installed blood-flushing toilet…”

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    And check out the sequels, “The Spring of Lymph”, “The Babbling Brook of Phlegm”, and “The Waterpark of Digestive Acid.”

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’man: I’m more of a white wine girl, so I hope it’s a nice day to staaart agaaaain.

  20. Emster Says:

    To the tune of Big Rock Candy Mountain

    Ooooooh, the paperback called Blood Fountain
    Found its cover on Good Show Sir
    Thanks to Ryan who deemed it cheesy
    And agreeably we concur
    The magician wildly waves his hands
    At the swordsman with bad 80’s hair
    And a guy that’s been slew
    Fountain full of goo
    There was first a Book 1
    And then a Book 2
    Of the paperback called Blood Fountain

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: toe-tapping!

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