The Cross of Frankenstein
The Frank of Croissant Stein
The Stank of Frozen Kine
The Crank of Frossingstein
The Stonk of Frackingsein
The Cross of Frankenstein Meets Abbot and Costello
“A New Horror Series” promises a bit too much, since there were only two books.
@fred: I’ve read this one and frankly (heh) I feel the reviewer thinks too highly of the bits before the nasty sex shows up. Didn’t care much for Myers making the monster essentially one-dimensionally eeeeeeeevil, either.
Someone’s crossed Frank, and he’s not happy about it. Wolfy can’t believe what he sees.
So Frankie’s got some random white sheeting, plus a bearskin, plus a… baseball bat? And a wolf? Isn’t The Monster strong enough to take care of destroying things without a piece of wood and a goofy lupine?
@THX: that’s definitely ol’ Boris (much better than current Boris), and I guess this UAI grad didn’t know the difference.
@Tor: GSS!
How about The Stein of Croissant Frank, which I guess would be a hot dog in a croissant instead of the usual bun, with a beer to wash it down? I’d try it.
@Bruce: This does sound terribad all the way through, and yet I agree with the reviewer that a few pages of necrosex was the pointless stupid bit. Or I would agree if I’d read this, which I’m not about to do.
@Hammy: The dog would have the cheese wrapped around it, then the croissant goes around all of that. It would make it easier to hold and eat. Not much different conceptually than a bagel dog, or a croissant sandwich. Cheese version costs extra, of course.
Meat, cheese, bread, beer, what’s not to like?
Call me, fast food chains! @Hammy and I are ready to consult!
(If beer isn’t wanted or available, the stein could be of root beer.)
(Now I’m thinking of collecting food from Wienerschnitzel and A&W, plus a croissant, and actually trying this.)
GSSXN @16: You have to do this! Please, please let us know how it goes. Thinks: in Vienna you might actually be able to get these already. After all, the croissant was invented there, and there are lots of würstel stands about.
Good Show Sir: creating weird food cravings since 2011 (or whenever it was).
@L_L: I’m not going out much these days, what with the virus, but I’ve got root beer on hand… and both DW and a grocery store with croissants (and beer and hot dogs) nearby.
I bet you’re right, and this could be assembled in minutes in Vienna. Some drunk Austrian or tourist thereto has probably done this. You’d want a curvy sausage to fit into the croissant better.
If anyone on GSS is currently in a place that sells all the components in one spot, do let us know!
I *would* try making these at home, using the plan in #16, but I just read a recipe for crossant dough, and it takes, like, days. Make the dough, let it rise three hours or more, punch it down, let it rise again for three hours, do your first fold, wrap and refrigerate for an hour and repeat three more time, etc., etc.
My mon used to bake large batches of homemade bread, and she would make “pigs in blankets” for fun meals – hot dogs wrapped in bread dough and baked. Ah, memories…. 🙂
@Hammy: Yeah, that’s why I’d be buying a croissant instead. No time and effort to waste with all that stuff to bake it.
I still eat pigs in a blanket, which, again, same idea as this. There are fancy hors d’ouevre kinds that are wrapped in puff pastry and have parmesan in the dough. Maybe I’ll just find some of those and eat those in honor of this. Although it might have to wait till the end of the year, they seem to be a seasonal holiday party thing.
In any case, it’s a food concept that already basically exists, and all the components did when this book was published. I’m also sure it’s much better than this book.
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February 22nd, 2022 at 9:26 am
Follow-up: The Miffed of Frankenstein,
February 22nd, 2022 at 10:10 am
“Rrrhhnhh!! Cross BAD!!”
February 22nd, 2022 at 11:58 am
Rookie mistake. Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster.
February 22nd, 2022 at 12:46 pm
This means we have a new Frankenstein Conquers the World movie to look forward to.
February 22nd, 2022 at 12:50 pm
Needs that neo-jesus tag.
February 22nd, 2022 at 2:36 pm
Did the monster eat the bear after he killed and skinned it?
February 22nd, 2022 at 2:39 pm
Wait…is he wearing a bear boa over that tattered gown ?
I guess they couldn’t fit “The Cross-Dressing of Frankenstein’s Monster” on the cover.
February 22nd, 2022 at 4:24 pm
So Frankenstein is cross because the monster has made off with his pride parade costume?
February 22nd, 2022 at 4:46 pm
That wolf needs some serious dental work.
February 22nd, 2022 at 4:49 pm
The wolf has just realised: they’ve put Karloff’s Mummy face on the Monster and hoped we wouldn’t notice!
February 22nd, 2022 at 7:33 pm
The Cross of Frankenstein
The Frank of Croissant Stein
The Stank of Frozen Kine
The Crank of Frossingstein
The Stonk of Frackingsein
The Cross of Frankenstein Meets Abbot and Costello
February 22nd, 2022 at 7:34 pm
‘Sadly, the climax of the story takes an anachronistic detour into the land of sleazy sex.’ (Second paragraph in ‘ATMOSPHERE’)
https://prettysinister.blogspot.com/2018/05/ffb-cross-of-frankenstein-robert-j-myers.html
February 22nd, 2022 at 10:23 pm
Frankenstein and Dogestein.
“A New Horror Series” promises a bit too much, since there were only two books.
@fred: I’ve read this one and frankly (heh) I feel the reviewer thinks too highly of the bits before the nasty sex shows up. Didn’t care much for Myers making the monster essentially one-dimensionally eeeeeeeevil, either.
February 23rd, 2022 at 12:07 am
Someone’s crossed Frank, and he’s not happy about it. Wolfy can’t believe what he sees.
So Frankie’s got some random white sheeting, plus a bearskin, plus a… baseball bat? And a wolf? Isn’t The Monster strong enough to take care of destroying things without a piece of wood and a goofy lupine?
@THX: that’s definitely ol’ Boris (much better than current Boris), and I guess this UAI grad didn’t know the difference.
@Tor: GSS!
How about The Stein of Croissant Frank, which I guess would be a hot dog in a croissant instead of the usual bun, with a beer to wash it down? I’d try it.
@Bruce: This does sound terribad all the way through, and yet I agree with the reviewer that a few pages of necrosex was the pointless stupid bit. Or I would agree if I’d read this, which I’m not about to do.
February 23rd, 2022 at 3:40 am
Hm.
Stein of Croissant Frank? Someone invent that, if it hasn’t happened already! If it has, reinvent it!
Good dog, maybe some semi-exotic cheese melted over it on the croissant (or wrapped in the croissant around the dog)….
February 24th, 2022 at 1:40 am
@Hammy: The dog would have the cheese wrapped around it, then the croissant goes around all of that. It would make it easier to hold and eat. Not much different conceptually than a bagel dog, or a croissant sandwich. Cheese version costs extra, of course.
Meat, cheese, bread, beer, what’s not to like?
Call me, fast food chains! @Hammy and I are ready to consult!
(If beer isn’t wanted or available, the stein could be of root beer.)
(Now I’m thinking of collecting food from Wienerschnitzel and A&W, plus a croissant, and actually trying this.)
February 24th, 2022 at 10:36 am
GSSXN @16: You have to do this! Please, please let us know how it goes. Thinks: in Vienna you might actually be able to get these already. After all, the croissant was invented there, and there are lots of würstel stands about.
Good Show Sir: creating weird food cravings since 2011 (or whenever it was).
February 25th, 2022 at 2:16 am
@L_L: I’m not going out much these days, what with the virus, but I’ve got root beer on hand… and both DW and a grocery store with croissants (and beer and hot dogs) nearby.
I bet you’re right, and this could be assembled in minutes in Vienna. Some drunk Austrian or tourist thereto has probably done this. You’d want a curvy sausage to fit into the croissant better.
If anyone on GSS is currently in a place that sells all the components in one spot, do let us know!
February 25th, 2022 at 3:20 am
@L_L & GSSx-n:
I *would* try making these at home, using the plan in #16, but I just read a recipe for crossant dough, and it takes, like, days. Make the dough, let it rise three hours or more, punch it down, let it rise again for three hours, do your first fold, wrap and refrigerate for an hour and repeat three more time, etc., etc.
My mon used to bake large batches of homemade bread, and she would make “pigs in blankets” for fun meals – hot dogs wrapped in bread dough and baked. Ah, memories…. 🙂
February 26th, 2022 at 12:42 am
@Hammy: Yeah, that’s why I’d be buying a croissant instead. No time and effort to waste with all that stuff to bake it.
I still eat pigs in a blanket, which, again, same idea as this. There are fancy hors d’ouevre kinds that are wrapped in puff pastry and have parmesan in the dough. Maybe I’ll just find some of those and eat those in honor of this. Although it might have to wait till the end of the year, they seem to be a seasonal holiday party thing.
In any case, it’s a food concept that already basically exists, and all the components did when this book was published. I’m also sure it’s much better than this book.