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Feb 22

Wolfman wants walkies!Click for larger image

Lord Kelvin Comments: Frank throws a toga party!

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “The Cross of Frankenstein”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Follow-up: The Miffed of Frankenstein,

  2. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “Rrrhhnhh!! Cross BAD!!”

  3. The Blue Are Coming Says:

    Rookie mistake. Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster.

  4. fred Says:

    This means we have a new Frankenstein Conquers the World movie to look forward to.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Needs that neo-jesus tag.

  6. fred Says:

    Did the monster eat the bear after he killed and skinned it?

  7. The Blue Are Coming Says:

    Wait…is he wearing a bear boa over that tattered gown ?

    I guess they couldn’t fit “The Cross-Dressing of Frankenstein’s Monster” on the cover.

  8. Max Bathroom Says:

    So Frankenstein is cross because the monster has made off with his pride parade costume?

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That wolf needs some serious dental work.

  10. THX 1139 Says:

    The wolf has just realised: they’ve put Karloff’s Mummy face on the Monster and hoped we wouldn’t notice!

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    The Cross of Frankenstein
    The Frank of Croissant Stein
    The Stank of Frozen Kine
    The Crank of Frossingstein
    The Stonk of Frackingsein
    The Cross of Frankenstein Meets Abbot and Costello

  12. fred Says:

    ‘Sadly, the climax of the story takes an anachronistic detour into the land of sleazy sex.’ (Second paragraph in ‘ATMOSPHERE’)

    https://prettysinister.blogspot.com/2018/05/ffb-cross-of-frankenstein-robert-j-myers.html

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Frankenstein and Dogestein.

    “A New Horror Series” promises a bit too much, since there were only two books.

    @fred: I’ve read this one and frankly (heh) I feel the reviewer thinks too highly of the bits before the nasty sex shows up. Didn’t care much for Myers making the monster essentially one-dimensionally eeeeeeeevil, either.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Someone’s crossed Frank, and he’s not happy about it. Wolfy can’t believe what he sees.

    So Frankie’s got some random white sheeting, plus a bearskin, plus a… baseball bat? And a wolf? Isn’t The Monster strong enough to take care of destroying things without a piece of wood and a goofy lupine?

    @THX: that’s definitely ol’ Boris (much better than current Boris), and I guess this UAI grad didn’t know the difference.

    @Tor: GSS!

    How about The Stein of Croissant Frank, which I guess would be a hot dog in a croissant instead of the usual bun, with a beer to wash it down? I’d try it.

    @Bruce: This does sound terribad all the way through, and yet I agree with the reviewer that a few pages of necrosex was the pointless stupid bit. Or I would agree if I’d read this, which I’m not about to do.

  15. Hammy Says:

    Hm.

    Stein of Croissant Frank? Someone invent that, if it hasn’t happened already! If it has, reinvent it!

    Good dog, maybe some semi-exotic cheese melted over it on the croissant (or wrapped in the croissant around the dog)….

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: The dog would have the cheese wrapped around it, then the croissant goes around all of that. It would make it easier to hold and eat. Not much different conceptually than a bagel dog, or a croissant sandwich. Cheese version costs extra, of course.

    Meat, cheese, bread, beer, what’s not to like?

    Call me, fast food chains! @Hammy and I are ready to consult!

    (If beer isn’t wanted or available, the stein could be of root beer.)

    (Now I’m thinking of collecting food from Wienerschnitzel and A&W, plus a croissant, and actually trying this.)

  17. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    GSSXN @16: You have to do this! Please, please let us know how it goes. Thinks: in Vienna you might actually be able to get these already. After all, the croissant was invented there, and there are lots of würstel stands about.

    Good Show Sir: creating weird food cravings since 2011 (or whenever it was).

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @L_L: I’m not going out much these days, what with the virus, but I’ve got root beer on hand… and both DW and a grocery store with croissants (and beer and hot dogs) nearby.

    I bet you’re right, and this could be assembled in minutes in Vienna. Some drunk Austrian or tourist thereto has probably done this. You’d want a curvy sausage to fit into the croissant better.

    If anyone on GSS is currently in a place that sells all the components in one spot, do let us know!

  19. Hammy Says:

    @L_L & GSSx-n:

    I *would* try making these at home, using the plan in #16, but I just read a recipe for crossant dough, and it takes, like, days. Make the dough, let it rise three hours or more, punch it down, let it rise again for three hours, do your first fold, wrap and refrigerate for an hour and repeat three more time, etc., etc.

    My mon used to bake large batches of homemade bread, and she would make “pigs in blankets” for fun meals – hot dogs wrapped in bread dough and baked. Ah, memories…. 🙂

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: Yeah, that’s why I’d be buying a croissant instead. No time and effort to waste with all that stuff to bake it.

    I still eat pigs in a blanket, which, again, same idea as this. There are fancy hors d’ouevre kinds that are wrapped in puff pastry and have parmesan in the dough. Maybe I’ll just find some of those and eat those in honor of this. Although it might have to wait till the end of the year, they seem to be a seasonal holiday party thing.

    In any case, it’s a food concept that already basically exists, and all the components did when this book was published. I’m also sure it’s much better than this book.

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