Sep 05

'Is the feather too much?'Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Bet he didn’t win that Hugo for this hot mess.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.42 out of 10)

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27 Responses to “Hadon of Ancient Opar”

  1. Ryan Says:

    The skin tones of the three characters on the front make me think that they just jumped out of the hot dog rotisserie at the local Circle K.

  2. Bruce A Munro Says:

    In the context of a dungeon room surrounded by the bodies of defeated foes, OK. but on some random path near the city? They’re _so_ posing for the cover picture.

    (Dwarf dude: “hurry up and take the picture. This is a very uncomfortable position!”)

    @Ryan: the War Dogs of the Oscarmayer Kingdom. A mercenary force made up of odds and ends from all over, they slather up with a protective layer of mustard before going into battle.

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    The buildings behind them look suspiciously like Makka Pakka. Is whatever’s approaching them from our right the Ninky-Nonk?

  4. Daard23 Says:

    Everyone knows that shins are the most important part of the body and most be armored at all times.

  5. fred Says:

    Dwarf would look cooler with an eye patch.

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    She was just checking to see if the length of the loin cloth is justified

  7. Emster Says:

    “Awkward Comicon Costume Catalogue Pose” or “let’s go to battle wearing too much jewellery and not enough PPE, and our enemies will laugh themselves silly before they quickly take us out with arrows and leave us to the scavengers”

    However, this is a fine example of 80’s fantasy covers as I remember them…

  8. Max Bathroom Says:

    She was just checking to see if the length of the loin cloth is justified
    “Forget Fauxnan, girls: the short guy with the beard and the axe is the one you want. I’ve checked…”

  9. Leak Says:

    Look’s like Golden Axe’s lesser known bargain bin re-release “Pyrite Axe”…

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Faux-nan: Forward unto the ale tent at this fine Ren Fayre, and then let us feast on turkey legs over yonder!

    Pedant: You’re not even in Renaissance costumes, and turkey legs were unavailable in England in Tudor times… *sigh* never mind.

    @Tat: Looks more like the wooden building block set I can’t remember the name of and less like one of those bug-eyed stress toys, so it can’t be Makka Pakka.

    @Bruce: GSS! for the Oscarmeyer Warriors. Their vehicle is a very interesting shape too.

    @Emster: GSS.

    I think the blonde is there to distract the oncoming foes so Faux-Nan and Dwarf (who would indeed look cooler with an eyepatch) can get the drop on them.

    As someone who has (rarely) worn a chain mail bikini, I can attest that even when it has suede under the chain bits, it’s uncomfortable and you really need undies underneath Just plain metal chain across your lady bits is horrid.

    Maybe she’s hoping Faux-nan gets killed and she’s figuring out how much of her she can cover with that loincloth.

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: (looks online) I see some British TV producer saw the Teletubbies and took away the lesson that preschoolers like their children’s show characters good and creepy.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I have been remiss in noting that “Friend of the Blog” Lee Moyer won a Hugo last night for being the artist for Best Fanzine!

    You will remember him from —

    A friend of mine won in another category, so I am quite chuffed.

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS exx-noob: a Good Show, all around!

  14. JuanPaul Says:

    @Max it could be a Cyrano de Bergerac thing, except it’s a porno

  15. Hammy Says:

    …looks like someone neglected to invest in a Hadon alarm for their environment….

  16. Tracy Says:

    “You shall have my shield.”

    “And my axe.”

    “And my ta-tas.”

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: LOL.

    Phil wasn’t even a bit subtle with the “Hadon/Hardon” pun.

    But he was rarely (if ever) subtle about sex.

  18. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Reporter: “So what’s the worst part of being a fantasy damsel?”

    Damsel: “Don’t get me started! Freezing your butt off from the skimpy clothes I have to wear? The insect bites? Getting dragged and carried all over the place? But when I think about it, the absolute worst of it is my knees! The constant crouching, huddling, ankle-clinging… I’m 22, and I’ve got knees like a 60-year-old-Russian cleaning woman!”

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ARY: GSS!!! Thank you for examining the plight of the damsels.

    They also are often menaced by overlarge snakes and lizards at a high rate. That’s probably not good for your knees either. And get sore throats from all the screaming they’re required to do.

  20. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Female barbarian warriors at least avoid all the kneeling, but they’ve got even worse problems when it comes to cold weather.

  21. Max Bathroom Says:

    That isn’t the worst example of that, dude: we’ve got Raven on here:
    Because if you’re climbing a frozen mountain to have words with a frog demon, thigh boots with six inch spike heels and a leather swimsuit are the only sensible way to to dress…
    (Though that might be a bit more practical than the chainmail string vest, I suppose.)

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce, Max: forty years ago Cerebus had the last word on this topic

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: The spiky boots and leather bikini are unsuitable, but at least they don’t conduct cold and heat like metal does.

    @Tat: Shame the writer went completely RWNJ.

    The Hugo-winning comical book featuring a critter that will NOT slap you in the face with misogyny or prejudice is “Digger”. Just a simple wombat trying to get home.

  24. Max Bathroom Says:

    @GSS ex-noob
    Bone is rather fun as well.
    (Hopefully there’s far more funny animal/weird critter fantasy comics that don’t wallow in misogyny than ones that go so far off the deep end they’re still plumetting twenty years later like Cerebus, but Bone stands out as it’s pretty much a Disney take on Tolkein. Lovely comic, and a fine read.)

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: Yeah, Bone is good too.

    Digger has the advantage of being written and drawn by a woman who has a very non-macho partner/husband, so equality is kinda a given for her. Also she’s very nice in person.

  26. Max Bathroom Says:

    Thanks for the tip, I’ll have to check it out.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: I live to recommend her work to everyone. I’ve never read a bad comic, novel, or short story by her, under either of her pen names.

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