Sep 26

'Screw your perspective!'Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: More like The Ass of Dyskornis. Amirite?!

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “The Glass of Dyskornis”

  1. Michael Toland Says:

    “More like The Ass of Dyskornis. Amirite?!”

    Or The Gas of Dyskornis, considering the expression on the face of the poor soul in the bottom right.

  2. Max Bathroom Says:

    @ Michael Toland
    “I fart in your general direction!”

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Is the bloke in the corner the new space sheep? Because I’m convinced he’s there to hide something.

  4. Griz Says:

    You know they spent HOURS getting the scar makeup on that guy on the right to take his picture against a blue screen so they could edit him into the final composite.

  5. Hammy Says:

    @Michael T(#1):

    Fred always got nervous when he had to face a scimitar-wielding opponent riding a giant wildcat, and the stress really kicked his IBS into high gear….

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    Not the furry experience Green-Shirt was looking for

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Matthew Lilliard: Why do I always have to be Skeletor? The voice really hurts.

    Leonard DiCaprio: This is MY mid-life crisis, dammit, you’re lucky to be getting any work.

  8. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Cat owner always says it’s a big sweetie, but when you try to pet it…

  9. Ryan Says:

    This is a series of books, and every single one of them has the “lots of stuff is happening, although it isn’t really clear exactly what” style of cover.

    Why make a hyper-realistic cover and show a mish-mash of nothing?

  10. Leak Says:

    I guess in this case I’m more of a “glass half gone” kind of guy…

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Dyskornis mostly used their glass to watch kitty videos.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Isn’t the blurb redundant?

    You look at the cover and see two guys with swords. One of them is riding a giant cat. Then the blurb says the same. Was that the only good thing they could pull from Ted’s review?

    Besides the perspective fail, both visible faces are weird. How much gurning is the other one doing, that his diaper-clad ass is preferable?

    @Michael: Between diaper-man and cat food breath, no wonder Green Shirt is gagging.

    @Tat: Heh.

    @Bruce: You REALLY need to keep a kitty that size entertained.

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Sturgeon’s blurb feels like one of those universal captions we’ve been discussing. As long as you include the “giant cats,” you can say just about anything.

    “Full of cotton candy and giant cats”

    “Full of Zombies and giant cats”

    “Full of Russian dictators and giant cats”

    “Full of ball bearings and giant cats”

    “Full of small cats and giant cats”


  14. fred Says:

    I had fun channeling that title thru my inner Beavis and Butt-Head.

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Full of legumes and giant cats”
    “Full of metamorphic rock and giant cats”
    “Full of chartered accountancy and giant cats”
    “Full of trolley problems and giant cats”

  16. Emster Says:

    @ Ryan: Yeah, got a deja vous feeling… a May 4th kind of feeling:

    Funny that I can find related authors/covers within minutes, but ask me where my car key is at this exact moment, and I’m not 100% sure…

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Emster—You know what that cover needs, don’t you? A blurb from Sturgeon saying “Full of murderous primates and giant cats.”

  18. Emster Says:

    @B. Chicklitz – I new it was missin’ something… seeing as they didn’t deem necessary to squeeze a coupla primates onto the cover, but had room for some ill-fitting pants…

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: I’m always suspicious when there’s an ellipsis in the blurb. What else did Sturgeon have to say? Was it a long, biting paragraph? Saying “This book wishes it were entertaining and well-paced. Sadly, it’s junk. It’s full of swordplay and giant cats, all of which is ludicrous.”

    I was reading and buying a LOT of SF when these books came out, and I have no memory of them whatsoever. I was on a bit of a budget, so perhaps 1982-xn was put off by the covers and bought something less…. this.

  20. Outis Says:

    Hey hands off me Jim Burns, I got not one but TWO of his books!
    I really like his style, and let’s face it, compared with other items appearing on this (fabulous) site, this one is not at all half bad.
    And why all the trousers-centric zings? For a SF cover (ones from Burns included) those people are positively overdressed.

  21. A. R. Yngve Says:

    The Shocking Truth About John Belushi’s Fatal Animal Stunt That They Covered Up With a “Drug Overdose” Story!

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