Jan 26

Mother.. did you come into the dark forest in your dressing gown again?!!Click for full image

Fantasy readers can’t think for themselves! They need one thing, hyper realism! It’s a phrase I’m coining. So well have a guy in his pajamas and an old women in a dressing gown staring at a magical glowing orb in the palm of the dudes hand. All set within a dark forest.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.60 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Magestone”

  1. SI Says:

    This cover just makes me feel uncomfortable. Like I’ve turned up for a family gathering and can’t remember who anyone is uncomfortable.

    Strange, I think I just need more sleep though.

  2. CSA Says:

    Phillip Schofield: At last, the Magestone is ours MUHAHAHAHA
    Sarah Greene: Ah, my precious, it will make us young again!
    Phillip Schofield: Early 90s, here we come!

  3. Roses Says:

    Sarah Greene: so what apps have you got?
    Philip Schofield: this makes it glow blue, which is very funky if you ask me.
    Sarah Greene: what does that app do?
    Philip Schofield: this one turns you in Sam Fox, phwoar.

  4. SI Says:

    Gah I can’t think of anything witty. It still makes me feel uncomfortable.

    Like when growing up one of my friends, who’s family were Catholic, had a huge painting of the virgin Mary in their toilet. It just made you feel like what you were doing was wrong and dirty… even if it was just a pee. For me it’s that kind of weird feeling I get from this one.

    I might need some professional help…

  5. CSA Says:

    Yeah you should go visit a Physiatrist or even a Psychologist. If neither are available then go see a Scientologist, get a personality test to tell you that you’re as mad as we all know you are and give them £100 for the pleasure of knowing the results.

  6. Karl Says:

    For any fantasy book, all you need is a copy of Lord of the Rings, a copy of Mad Libs, and a foam sword. Unfortunately, fantasy plots are as uncreative, derivative, and just plain lazy as this cover.

  7. CSA Says:

    Have you read many sci-fi/fantasy books then?
    Just my personal opinion, and I many will disagree with me, but i think Lord of the Rings is a very poor book to be held up as as good as it gets for fantasy. I found the characters somewhat 2D and couldn’t empathise with them and the overall plot too long and drawn out. I could name dozens of books in the fantasy genre with better plots, better characters and better written aswell. LOTR was just paved the way for better books to follow.

    I hope your being sarcastic with the sweeping statement “fantasy plots are uncreative”, because you could apply that to pretty much any fictional book be it romance, crime, horror etc if you only read a handful. There ARE original works out there and many still being written and in my opinion Fantasy and Sci-Fi are where you’ll most likely find original work given that the author can write about pretty much any crazy imaginative idea that comes into his head.

    (Just in case you’ve made the most deadpan joke post in the (short) history of this site, then kudos to you, but my rambling response still stands)

  8. Roses Says:

    CSA – hear hear!

  9. SI Says:

    And who needs published fantasy for originality when there is a mass of fan fiction out there. CSA’s Harry Potter stories are ever increasing, and my Twilight verse Van Helsing novel is coming along well.

  10. SI Says:

    Have to point out… just in case. I am joking. I hope.

  11. CSA Says:

    Well my “Harry Potter and the Aliens vs. Predator” novel is coming along very well. I can’t wait till it gets popular enough that someone makes some erotic fan fiction of it.

  12. Simon Says:

    ‘If it bleeds half blood we can shag it’

  13. CSA Says:

    Hmm, i’m not sure we want any bleeding in the HPatAvP erotic fiction since Predator blood looks pretty nuclear and Alien blood is highly acidic. I think that would be aimed towards a very select few readers who have be ostracized from a community aldready ostracized from the world as a whole.

  14. SI Says:

    So basically aimed at me then…

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    THIS JUST IN: The author of ‘Beatrice and Lenny Discover Compassion and Spirituality in Their Twilight Years’ wonders why there are druids and menhirs all over the cover of his book.

  16. Arwen Says:

    This is not ‘pajamas’, that’s vyshivanka, a part of the East Slavic national dress.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Do you realize how rare genuinely old women are on Fantasy book covers? This has to be one of only two or three in this entire blog.

  18. anon Says:

    @A.R.Yngve: That’s so ageist of you. They could simply be well-preserved.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    She Was The Most Powerful Old Witch In The World, But Only He Could Save Her From…

  20. GSS noob Says:

    @SI: I would probably read (a short story) of Van Helsing in the Twilight world. Just to watch them all get their due.

    Must be some out there.

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