Jul 06

Weird pecs, amirite?!

Good Show Sir comments: “Argggh! I put me armour on backwards!”

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.16 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Marchers of Valhalla”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    Alternative title: My Frisbee of Doom!

  2. Tor Mented Says:

    The artwork sure reminds me of Jim Steranko.

  3. NomadUK Says:

    So. Many. Ribs.

  4. fred Says:

    He’s got a metal theme song, but this cover really deserves Rammstein.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Not only does he have tons of ribs, but he’s also sporting an impressively massive scabbard.

  6. Ryan Says:

    Bozo the Clown: Unmasked, and Angry About It.

  7. JJYoyo Says:

    Prehistoric Captain America fights Australopithecine Red Hair— er, Red Skull….

  8. fred Says:

    Those broken pieces of sword make a faux-Ting!.

  9. Max Bathroom Says:

    @Tor Mented
    Why does it remind you of Steranko? He could do faces and anatomy…

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    Haha! I got your helmet!

    Well, HaHA! I got your shield

    Well, HahaHA! I got your sword!

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    @Max: The figure on the left seemed very Steranko-ish to me on my first look, especially the face and ribs. Now I notice how poorly done the right arm is. It looks foreshortened, but it would have to bend backward at the elbow to be foreshortened.
    At any rate, Wikipedia says the 1977 edition has a dust jacket and illustrations by Marcus Boas.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    Kids at school used to sneer because I didn’t have Action Man dolls… sorry, action-figures. When I did get given broken ones by well-meaning neighbours, I would remove the limbs and re-insert them in the opposite sockets, then turn the torso and head around.

    That looks like what’s happening here, with mulletted Lee Majors using his shoulder-blades as pectorals and Fright-Wig Maori pivoting his waist more than the manufacturers recommend.

    But the poses do look vaguely familiar

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Is that a sword fight, or Interpretive Dance?

    Why does Conan have such beefy thighs and a scrawny torso? Weird pecs, weird abs, his whole torso is wrong.

    Where’s his other leg?

  14. Bruce Alexander Munro Says:

    Note to self: don’t shop at Don’s Discount Swords N’ Armor again.

    @GSS ex-noob: perhaps he’s a Uniped?
    (Artist can’t draw huge feet, either).

  15. Emster Says:

    Other books in this series:

    Amblers of Asgard
    Runners of Ragnarok
    and the very amusing Hoppers of Hvergelmir

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    Yumpers of Yiminy.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Conan the Unipod doesn’t sound like a promising name. Also, does that mean he has to go BOING hopping across lands on his travels, like the beastie on the “Wankh” book?

    On closer inspection, I see he has another leg in the incredibly dense fog. Which also contains an arm with a weapon.

    The shield flying at us — does it mean this cover was supposed to be in 3D? Really scary, kids.

  18. Emster Says:

    @GSS x-n: besides the arm with the weapon, there are also 2 people in the foreground. Why is it when you find a nice quiet spot on the beach to nap, a bunch of noisy extroverts show up for a game of pick up sword and axe?

  19. A. R. Yngve Says:

    [Tommy Wiseau voice] “You are TEARING ME APART, Conan! Oh hi, corpses.”

  20. Francis Boyle Says:


    Don’t forget the Voguers of Valhalla, though I’m told that book’s a bit self-indulgent and doesn’t really go anywhere.

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