Aug 07

Hey Orkin Man!

Emster Comments: The fate of Terra was at stake! But first… Get out the bibs and melted butter, the whole crew is eating crab tonight!

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.43 out of 10)

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14 Responses to “The Survival Game”

  1. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Today, killer crabs. Yesterday, giant clothes moths. It’s always _something_ on the Survival Planet.

  2. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Those crabs don’t look very menacing. Not even clicking their claws menacingly. All the claws are nearly closed. And they have a pointy stick and a zap gun, which ought to do the trick.

    Get back in your spaceship and shoot ’em from there while you’re melting the butter.

    Excellent find, Emster!

    @Bruce: Is this one of those reality TV shows where there’s a different insectioid menace every day? Does the one who kills the fewest critters get voted off the planet? (It does say it’s a game)

    If it’s 8-ish in the UK and I’m the second comment, I am obviously up too late.

  3. JJYoyo Says:

    Red Acres is the place for me,
    Ex-terminating crabs so easily,
    Food piling up so far and wide,
    Whose survival’s at stake? I can’t decide.

    I’m allergic to all shellfish, dear,
    Even extraterrestrial ones, is that clear?
    I’d rather have a Terran dome
    Keep Red Acres, just give me a rocket home

    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    The chores!
    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    The stores!
    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    The chitin!
    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    They bitin’?

    I am the boss!
    Hello butter sauce!

    Red acres on a dare!

    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    Duh-duh da duh-duh
    Dah dah!

  4. Max Bathroom Says:

    I’m thinking these chaps might be wardens at a crab farm and they’re having trouble weeding out ones that have picked up some sort of bug that makes them inedible. They’ve just been given one gun and a pointed stick to do so because their manager is angry they’ve let the infestation get that far out of hand.

  5. Tor Mented Says:

    @JJYoyo: GSS!

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Crabs? All I see is a pile of slightly over cooked samosas.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “How many times do I have to tell you, Bob? Don’t ever bet on Colonel Bogaert!”

  8. fred Says:

    Crabs aren’t fattening.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    Nice to see Armstrong and Miller have reunited.

  10. Daard23 Says:

    I’m calling a double “ting” on the electro-rake.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: GSS! It scans, I can hear the tune and their voices in my head, well done. Extra points for “chitin/bitin”. I declare you have won this thread.

    @FB: I’ve never seen samosas with legs, but maybe Indian restaurants are different in your neck of the woods? One could put these critters into samosas, however, or a crab rangoon.

    And now I want chaat. May have to pop out for some, as the freezer only contains some aloo puri and dhal.

    @Daard: Good spotting of the rare double-Ting! Being electrified, he not only can kill the critters but pre-cook them a bit.

    Still not seeing how the fate of Terra depends on a coupla bipeds with electrified weapons vs. alien crustaceans. Unless the planet is rioting because they’re short on seafood, and the Star King owns Red Lobster. Are there guys on another planet who’ve been sent to kill giant cheddar biscuits?

  12. Hammy Says:

    Star King? How’d Jack Vance get in this novel, anyway?

    Besides, neither of the folks on this cover look like this:

    Thus, the Star King is elsewhere. Probably brought a gun to an ambush:

  13. JJYoyo Says:

    The guy in the foreground just looks bored by the whole thing – his expression says “every mornin’, gotta zap the samosa-crabs…same old, same old.” The guy in the back is trying to be Sam Jackson: “Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these mutha$&@ing scampi on this mutha$&@ing plane(t)!”

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    These monster rancher games look fun, but eventually become pretty tedious.

    GSS, @JJyoyo.

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