Aug 10

Hell's garden gnome

Max Bathroom Comments: After the one ring, Gollum found all other bling he encountered a bit of a let down…

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.65 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Death’s Master”

  1. JuanPaul Says:

    That’s the weirdest looking butt plug I’ve ever seen

  2. fred Says:

    With all the batshit crazy possibilities for a NSFW cover we get this.

  3. NomadUK Says:

    Yoda took one too many trips to the buffet table, it seems.

  4. Tracy Says:

    This is not a scene from anywhere in the book! I’ve read it many times.

  5. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tracy: that’s because the Butt Plug Demon used the magic amulet to get the hell out of the novel. He knows the kind of weird shit that happens in Tanith Lee stories.

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Stolen from the cover of Sontaran Playboy.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    You may remember this from here

  8. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Death mustn’t be too scary in this universe if he has such an unprepossessing master. The phrase “laughing at Death” is literal there.

    @JP: LOL and GSS. There probably are weirder, but you and I have been fortunate never to see them.

    @fred: WTF? Agreed that there would have been much better covers. However, all the covers there bar one are also goofy. As @Tat pointed out.

    @Bruce, @FB: GSS!

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Is it just me, or does it look like he’s standing on a bunch of coffee beans?

  10. Emster Says:

    aaaaaand my brain went here:

    aaaaaaand then here:

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    That other cover that Tat linked to is every bit as awesome as this one

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bruce: Yep, I see coffee beans when I look at the unembiggened version. Looking at it first thing in the morning probably had something to do with it.

  13. Tor Mented Says:

    Maybe he’s getting ready to make a Caramel Pearl Ribbon Crunch Garden Gnome Frappucino.

  14. Emster Says:

    I saw a field of exotic frilled cockroaches in the unembiggened version and was disappointed at the embiggining/tilt of the trifocals that it was just leaves… Was expecting the Master of Death to have a bit more flare for the dramatic.

  15. Tor Mented Says:

    I could have said something about a Chocolate Butt Plug Frappucino, but I don’t want to give Starbucks any ideas.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Knowing Tanith Lee’s work, and having read the summary that @Tat Wood linked, I would not be at all surprised if indeed it was a mint chocolate frappucino butt plug with pearl necklace (ahem). Which would definitely wake one up.

    @Tor: Starbucks would never do it, but there are certain areas where independent coffee shops might find it popular.

    @Emster: I have bifocals, not quite strong enough. They do make GSS even more surreal, especially in the smaller size. Those leaves looked like coffee beans to me too. I often have to adjust my glasses on the embiggened ones.

    Even then, I often miss details till someone else mentions them. The only plus of being usually the last to arrive.

  17. Tor Mented Says:

    @GSSxn: They could call it Starbutts.
    OK, maybe we’ve gone too far with these jokes. Can we just put the butt plugs behind us?

  18. Emster Says:

    @Tor: When I accidentally say “Starbutts” at the office, I’m blamin’ you… (GSS…)

  19. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN, @Bruce: they do look like coffee beans. But Juan Valdez has really let himself go.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    He’s let the burro go, too. I think the burro fled in horror.

  21. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: I think the burro found better coffee at Starbutts.

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