Aug 31

She has the cutest tiny toes

Good Show Sir Comments: It’s got a a bitchin’ wraparound cover!

You might remember this from here.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.25 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Swordswoman”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    I see what the artist was going for. Too bad that the train had already left the station. (Still I think weird ghost breasts – and weird grass ghosts – are preferably to the generic bustiness of the other cover.)

  2. Tat Wood Says:

    The back cover’s scroll reads as follows:

    Dear Neddy,

    Thanks for all your help with the roses but it’s time to move on. I need space – just to draw my blades without knocking over your lamps and books. I have to admit that your Tinder profile didn’t lie about how you were hung, but you kept treading on my toes.

    I’ll be staying with Barbapappa’s Ghost for a few days.

  3. fred Says:

    This gives me a ‘Spirited Away’ vibe, only with crap historical accuracy as far as her swords go. Or it could be ‘The Mikado’ on acid.

  4. Ryan Says:

    How can the Baen version have the notification “First Publication” on the front cover when it was published in 1982, and this one is from 1979?

    Is Baen telling porkies with its cover illustrations?

  5. Emster Says:

    It is pretty bitchin’ in a 1970’s high school art competition sort of way (this Millenium it would have been some computer program generated crap so I’m not going harsh on it too much) . I am still impressed that it’s a wrap around cover. It’s the little things…

  6. Tor Mented Says:

    Could someone explain the knife in the knifewoman’s left hand? It looks like it doesn’t have a hilt but the type of handle you would find on a dresser drawer. Plus the blade looks like it is not at right angles to the hand guard.

  7. Bruce A Munro Says:

    5/10, needs more bugs with pointy metal things.

    @Francis Boyle: gives me “weird genre mashup” vibes.

    @Tor Mented: aren’t those her fingers? (Holding it, for some weird reason, like a wine corkscrew )

  8. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I read this in regular paperback, so it wasn’t so… GSS-worthy.

    As I recall, it was pretty good, and undeserving of this, but such is SFBC.

    I don’t know how she’d be a good samurai with that foot/ankle. Like I said, it’s been many years, but I don’t think she had a clubfoot.

    Also, she’s a samurai! Why are her two swords straight instead of curved? @fred noted this also, I see.

    @Tat: Neddy? I was thinking Dobbin.

    @Ryan: Are you surprised about t’other book having a lie on the front?

    You really can’t beat HPB for finding these things, can you? I’ve found and submitted many more worse than those from there. Although they have yet to appear, and it’s been over 5 years since I sent some in, a year or two for the rest. So disappointing.

    (I want to share them with my pals here! BAEN! etc. etc. hardbacks. Another dozen Laser, with the floating heads. 60s/70s paperbacks with psychedelic covers. Yet, neither Tag nor Admin ever put any of them up. Suggestions?)

    @Bruce: I can’t figure out her grip either. This cover should be on a book titled “The Bad and Goofy Swordswoman Cosplay”.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    It appears Centaur feet are hard, and also hard to draw!

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: look more like goat or unicorn hooves than horse hooves. Perhaps this is some sort of off-brand centaur.

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bruce: A corkscrew grip makes more sense than a drawer-handle grip, but there’s still a big potential for it slipping between the fingers. I think the artist just gave up on trying to depict a conventional grip.
    Also, I’m assuming there is an Unknown Artist who did the back cover.
    On the back cover, that door better open inward. If it opens outward, a lot of the weapons are going to come clattering down.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I would like to say that “bitchin’ wraparound cover” is the most appropriate phrase for all covers on this site. Carry on.

    @Bruce: They’re goat hooves and he doesn’t have a horse or goat tail. Did the artist confuse a centaur with a chimera? Or is there freaky cross-breeding going on in this universe?

    Maybe the sword grip is in the form of brass knuckles? That might explain her finger position.

    @Tor: It does seem to open inwards, but I hope no one slams it open all the way, or the weapons are going to clatter when the door smacks into the cabinetry. Maybe. Can’t tell from that wonky perspective.

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    Did anybody see ‘Lady in the Water’? Those ghost things on this book look live the evil critters in the movie

  14. fred Says:

    Centaur’s study…Where’s his bow?…Where’s his quill pen?…Why does he have that hanging candle lit when it isn’t needed?…Why does he have a stack of old National Geographic magazines on his shelf?

  15. Tor Mented Says:

    “Why does he have a stack of old National Geographic magazines on his shelf?”
    Doesn’t everyone?

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tor Mented: any sufficiently large accumulation of National Geographics extends into L-space.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor, Bruce: If everyone’s NG collection were gathered in one spot, it would sink to the core of the Earth. So alleged my family tradition, helped by the fact that we kept the collection in the basement.

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ha! We were saying that in the 60’s.

  20. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bruce: I remember that article from The Journal of Irreproducible Results. I think it got news coverage at the time.

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