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Feb 27

'Taste my savage gauntlet, freak!'

Charles Comments: Let’s play book cover Mad Libs!

“On the _______(adjective) highways of _______(adjective) America, he ran a _______(adjective) gauntlet for _______(noun) … and _______(noun).

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.75 out of 10)
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13 Responses to “The Stalkers”

  1. fred Says:

    Looking at his teeth, this American holocaust doesn’t seem to have affected quality dentistry.

  2. NomadUK Says:

    I’ve heard of vagina dentata, but …

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    @Fred: probably scavanged dentures.

    What’s happening to his fingers? Is he wrestling a hologram?

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    I take this as a periodic reminder that we need a “this is not how anything works” tag.

  5. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Post-holocaust, only whatshisface will fight back against Kermit’s muppet monsters.

    @fred: or chest-waxing.

  6. fred Says:

    If’n you haz to know hiz backstory. Heez kinda Manimal adjacent senses wise from funky nerve gas exposure.

    https://www.writeups.org/traveller-paxton-drumm/

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    I don’t think he’s wearing clothes.

    The Starkers

  8. Emster Says:

    @fred – at least it’s an honest write up…

    Revenge eh? Is he wrasslin’ the mutant Cookie Monster for not sharin’ the Peek Freans?

    @ Bruce – and my brain went right here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb47CstE7R4

  9. MaxBathroom Says:

    I don’t know if the book under discussion is one of his, but apparently “DB Drumm” was a house name used for a series of rip offs of Jerry Aherne’s Survivalist series, some of which were penned by the notably well represented on GSS John Shirley…

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Where does he find the time to shave/wax his body hair? And wouldn’t having on a shirt be more practical when traveling the post-apoc wilderness, rasslin’ ape-things/mutant Cookie Monsters?(thanks @Emster) A shirt and leather jacket seems preferable.

    @FB: I agree.

    @B’man: Upon embiggening, there might be a hint of black trousers above the mutant’s head. Hard to see with the shades of murk. (Also, I’m still happy you’re using the icon I found for you)

    @Emster: Thanks? for the earworm (doo doo doo doo doot)

    Here’s my Mad Lib, featuring slang of the time:

    “On the grody highways of gnarly America, he ran a radical gauntlet for jocks and airheads.” Totally, fer shure. Word.

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Bibliomancer, @GSS ex-noob: he also appears to have shoes, he’s got the Cookie Mutant in a leg lock under the neck. While at the same time apparently breaking loose from being tied to a tree (I am having some trouble constructing a logical chain of events leading to the current situation).

    @fred: so sort of Daredevil, only not blind and more jacked?

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Likely less-educated and more violent than Daredevil.

    Maybe someone tied him to a tree as Muppet bait and he’s breaking free while cutting off mutant CM’s blood and air. I think that’s probably a Very Manly leather boot he’s got on.

    It’s hard to tell what’s Bad Cookie and what’s Tasteful Fog.

    Also, what if the mutant Muppet isn’t really trying to kill him? What if the poor beastie just came up and said “Me want cookie aarrgh, choke

  13. MaxBathroom Says:

    He’s obviously a paramilitary beautician: why else would he be attacking the hairiest mutant in the post holocast while flaunting his manscaped chest?
    “It’s a good job I studied Brazillian jujitsu, this is the hardest body waxing I’ve ever had to do!”

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