Feb 03

OYE! Get a job you tree hugging, green chemical firing, alien hippy!Click for full image

There is one thing we should be about, fonts! Lots of them. Vast and glorious as they confuse your mind. Then we’ll just have something completely unoriginal on the cover. Something like, oh I don’t know, some marines firing their weapons at an tribal people who live in the trees. Sounds like a crap B movie eh? Ah ha ha ha ha.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.76 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “Kingdom’s Swords”

  1. SI Says:

    I do believe the actual cover isn’t that bad. Without the fonts and colour choices I really don’t think this would be that, frightening.

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘Starfist.’ That’ll bring tears to your eyes.

  3. Simon Says:

    It’s the 25th century but the marines are still looking for a few good men so that they can give them some uniforms, weapons and comms gear from the museum of 21st century warfare.

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    Simon: for all we know, civilisation has collapsed back into the stone age and dragged itself back up the 21st-century levels in the intervening period.

    Book seven>/i>. god love us.

  5. Simon Says:

    I really wish I could believe that was the underpinning for this particular series . . .

  6. SI Says:

    And how do you know they aren’t firing some sort of advanced bullet. That teleports into your spine or lungs. Ohhhh…..

    This is book number 7, written in 2002. There’s more… oh there is more.

  7. James Lovegrove Says:

    I quite like the jaggedy “Starfist” font. Puts me in mind of a 70s Marvel comic. But then so many things do.

    Have you thought that the camouflage cream on the guy’s face might be a 25th century innovation? Using genetic engineering and resequenced chameleon DNA to create environment-matching skin patterns. And maybe the gun is, like, made of keratin and extruded from his own body. Come on, we have to try here.

  8. SI Says:

    Yea as hard as we might, we’re still not going to justify the police issue riot helmet… unless it was made out of the hard to mine, stronganium.

  9. CSA Says:

    Am i the only person who thinks the tag line makes the novel sound like a homo-erotic SF?

    Not to mention the book is called “starfist”… i mean… seriously…

  10. Roses Says:

    CSA ~ I thought it was just me who followed that particular train of thought…

  11. Karl Says:

    The cover isn’t terrible. It’s not good, either. But “StarFIST”? Will there be star-fisting? Although the erotic fanfiction equivalent of said work is probably better written.

  12. CSA Says:

    I try to keep my mind out of the gutter, but that guy has a mind of his own and sometime the gutter is just the place to be.

    @Karl The series actually gets very good reviews on Amazon, and as a Warhammer 40k fan, StarFIST might just be right up your alley

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    Is this book actually called “Starfist”? Or is it just Book VII in the Starfist Series?

    Oh, I know you think it’s in the Kingdom Swords Series, but look at where that “Book VII” is. Nested comfortably under “Starfist” and nowhere near “Kingdom of Swords.” Definitely the 7th Starfist so far. Hey, Starfist must be popular with a certain… demographic.

    And “Kingdom Swords?” Why it’s a series of series!

  14. Rachel J Says:

    Evidently “A Few Good Men” is *really* going to stand the test of time. Perhaps it should win?

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I always thought myself quite starf. But even back in school, I knew my friend was starfer than I. Lately, though, I’ve met someone who’s the starfest of the three of us!

    Oh, wait, Starfist. Goodness, what a typo, right on the cover!

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “It’s the 21st century, but Military SF publishers are still stuck in 1962…”

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s the 25th Century, but the Marines are still cruising for a few good men… and some action.

  18. anon Says:

    Mods Swing Dorks
    Thin, sullied Theyr marines are looking for meth, but at 25 cents, few go to
    Book VII
    Dancing Vags and Drama Herd

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