Mar 24

Damn it, where the hell is that city? Why didn't we bring our glasses!?Click for full image

So I just read from the list on this sheet? Alright then, terrible fonts, realistic guys doing manly stuff and pulling awkward faces, and a futuristic city. Might I add something of my own? Why don’t we credit only the editors and none of the authors? …You’re promoting me to management?! OHHH yeaaah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.25 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “Future Weapons of War”

  1. Ian Sales Says:

    Looks like the bloke at the front is having dump.

  2. Simon Says:

    Future war fought (again!) with today’s weapons. Clearly dfence budgets under severe pressure in the future as well.

    Robotoverlord Brown: ‘I can confirm that any request from the armed forces for equipment was fully met by the Imperial War Museum.’

  3. SI Says:

    Ian > Maybe he is. In the future people still need to go to the toilet in the height of battle.

    “Who cares about lasers. My men can take dumps in their battle armour!”

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    The giant shock absorbers in the background rather suggest that this battle is taking place inside the chassis of a futuristic megacar.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    Also, I find the way the ‘W’s in the title are starting to devour the rest of the letters a little bit sinister.

  6. CSA Says:

    The guy behiind the dude taking a dump kinda looks like he’s dancing to a cheesy 80’s songs. The 3rd guy is naturally providing covering fire for them.

    Its phycological warfare of some sort. If i was conducting a raid on their megacar and blasted my way in only to find an assortment of soldiers crapping and dancing (the generals would ideally be doing both simultaneously), i think i would be taken aback long enough for the sniper to get me

  7. e.lee Says:

    looks like they’re inside a giant pinball machine…?
    And in the future, braces will be part of the standard-issue body armour for grunts…

  8. Ron Obvious Says:

    This makes a Warhammer 40K cover look well laid out and sensible.

  9. Nix Says:

    Personally I’m impressed by the catastrophic layering. These are obviously really saintly soldiers (despite their appalling expressions) since the one in the foreground is lit by his own private light source, and the one in the middle has an all-body halo. Praise be to Holy Photoshop, without which so many dire covers would be much less dire.

  10. Mike Says:

    I’m pretty sure the guy in the back is doing the chicken dance.

  11. Miguel Marcos Says:

    The soldier in front looks like he got a paintball in his right eye.

  12. Branch42 Says:

    I don’t know when this was painted, but….I don’t see much FUTURE weapons….

  13. David Cowie Says:

    That is totally a future rifle – it’s got little red lights on the side!

  14. SI Says:

    David> I like to think that those red lights are actually telling him things like, the temperature, the current news, even twitter.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The editors of FUTURE WEAPONS OF WAR were trying too hard with the title.
    Hard-core Baen readers are more than satisfied with a simpler title like “WEAPONS”, or “WAR”…

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Future weapons of war include intercontnental ballistic suspicious ‘back massage’ wands of ill repute. In the event that a gigantic alien decides to squat down on the city and have a bit of fun.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I have a hunch that once the U.S. military starts outfitting its ground troops with all these fancy future weapons, they’ll be defeated by some totally unanticipated cheap countermeasure. Such as a flock of Third World kids armed with spray paint.

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    I can see Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo, but where’s Michaelangelo?

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:


  20. anon Says:

    “Weren’t they supposed to drop us new weapons? See them anywhere?”

  21. Anna T. Says:

    What is with people being posed like they’re dancing badly? Methinks that the artists are unfamiliar with realistic action poses.

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    “Yo, Smits, check out that title above us! We’re on a book cover!”

    “Yeah, it’s just one of them compilation things. Now get down here and help me find my other contact, wouldja?”

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I like to read the cover in Michael Palin’s Pilate voice from Life of Brian:

    ‘We wiww have futuwe weapons of waw! I wead about them in a gweat big thick book, a novew edited by Hawdemann and Gweenbewg, two vewwy good authouws of good wepute, and pubwished by the Baen company. Weww-edited by excewwent editows.’

  24. GSS noob Says:

    Future Weapons of War seem to be in the keeping of Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.

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