Apr 02

Wrong... just wrong...Click for full image

Nothing – and I mean nothing – attracts readers more than naked children. What.. why are you looking at me like that? Why are you leaving? Guys? Guys?

Thanks to Dave R – The ever-living!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.66 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “The Twilight of Briareus”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    How can you tell if your pickled eggs have gone off, or not?

  2. CSA Says:

    a day or two days of crippling diarrhea are usually the easiest sign to spot.

    Atleast someone at the yorkshire post thought it was worth putting a single star against. now add another 3 or 4 stars and we have a pretty good book.

  3. Ron Obvious Says:

    The only people that get turned on by naked children are Catholic priests. Happy Easter!

  4. CSA Says:

    Hey, it’s not ALL Catholic priests! It’s just the ones that are peadophiles. Oh wait, i see what you mean.

    alternative cover i think gets the creepyness of the story across without having a naked baby on display when reading on a train. The entire 2 reviews that i’ve found for this book say its actually quite good, pity about the cover.

  5. SI Says:

    Yea.. those easter eggs don’t look too nice.

    And why has someone split milk and not cleaned it up. That baby is just walking it in to the carpet.

  6. James Lovegrove Says:

    If you put a star against it, I mean literally placed a massive luminous ball of superheated plasma against a copy of the book, the thing would fry to a crisp in an instant. Bet that’s what the reviewer meant.

  7. James Lovegrove Says:

    And would it be in poor taste to say that, judging by the arm on the right of the image, Gary Glitter’s stage costumes are getting more and more elaborate?

  8. CSA Says:

    Certainly not in poor taste. The alien costume is definately a step up from the orange jumpsuit he’d been using for a few years. Nobody wants to be in his gang.

    Reminded me of that riddiciously sensationalist C4 documentary about executing Gary Glitter. They should make a new one about executing the Pope for the covering up paedophiles. But working from Ron’s claim, does all this mean Gary Glitter is actually an undercover catholic priest? Somebody phone the News of the World!

  9. Dave K Says:

    The more I look at this ugly cover, the more evocative of the story it becomes. How they expected it to sell copies, though, I don’t know.

    Dubious art aside, this is an outstanding novel.

  10. dude from another planet Says:

    You americans are so prude and sanctomonious with naked body or you never had children…
    Despite your filthy perverted mind, not everything is about sex.

    Actually to me this cover is seems rather intriguing. I think I understand the general sense and the element this book conveys (Something like “open eyes your eyes to the world”…I think), and it seems like one of those books hat I enjoy.
    The cover, and the colours chosen, convey the sense of refinment, nothing vulgar…

  11. CSA Says:

    @dude, comments 1-8 are sarcastic, and not posted by americans. (the clue is in the web address)

    Despite what you read, not everything is actually what we think. Its called having fun. pinch of salt etc

  12. dude from another planet Says:

    I apologize again for another misunderstanding.
    You just struck a nerve that I have about american culture that creeps everywhere and the views it bestows which I thought are embodied here…

    I’m begining to suspect that I completely missed the spirit of this blog…
    Anyway, if the comments weren’t serious, then why most of the people rated this cover as sucky? It seems fine to me… Unlike that stupid centaur with muscles…

    And you right, I should have noticed the, it is simply because I arrived here through a link…
    But aren’t you brits supposed to be even more extreme than americans?

  13. dAMIAN Says:

    Just finished reading it (my copy only shows the baby’s head on the cover)
    The sheer perfection, the tension as the final paragraphs come to an end just erupts off the page and leaps down your throat and spreads throughout your entire being, body AND spirit. If there’s such a thing as an aesexual orgasm than reading this book gave it to me. Read It, I promise you you will not regret it.

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    My theory is that someone told the cover artist to “put a naked babe” on the cover and they got confused.

    I’m curious about WHERE the Yorkshire Post wants to put that star. I have my theories.

  15. GSS noob Says:

    Naked children of absolutely indeterminate gender. No external genitalia, just a shadow.

    The dude above, in his last sentence, proves he’s never heard of Page 3 girls. Or even Benny Hill.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This cover is creepy and disturbing, not just because of the motive… there’s also the “Uncanny Valley” aspect.

    Not sure whether “One to put a star against” is a British manner of compliment, or subtle British sarcasm.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tag: I think the author’s full name is John Middleton Murray, Jr.

    Who hopefully didn’t approve the cover, even if (I gather) the book deals with babies a lot. And some aliens. Dunno about the blobs.

    @ARY: It certainly wouldn’t be phrased that way nowadays. “A” star, one star means it’s a terrible book, and the reviews are liable to say “I only gave it one star because Amazon doesn’t have zero stars.”

    Or else what @James (#6) said years ago.

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