Apr 09

Dude, you're facing the wrong way.Click for full image

Well I am thinking, man in miniskirt stands in the background with a very large sword. Then we’ll have a man standing in the foreground thrusting his sword from his pelvis as he furiously… well. Lets just say he looks furious, the destroyed viewers’ minds will do the rest.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)

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26 Responses to “Deathstalker Honour”

  1. James Lovegrove Says:

    The mohawk as symbol of badassery. Why did it ever go out of fashion? And can we bring it back?

  2. SI Says:

    Well I guess. I am not sure if I am badass enough to pull it off myself. But we could just all give ourself mohawks and walk around with massive swords and leather straps. That might be dangerously close to LARPing though…

  3. CSA Says:

    He’s sporting a fabulous pair of this seasons Ugg boots aswell.

    Seriously though, it looks like the front guy was cut/pasted out of a nasty german porno, then the artist just painted a sword in his hands… not cool.

  4. James Lovegrove Says:

    Yeah, and possibly the sword was inserted to cover up something else entirely in the original picture.

  5. Nix Says:

    That’s a good cover. That is to say, it looks ludicrously gonzo and the centre figure looks to be having huge heaps of basically silly fun.

    That’s a perfect description of the contents of one of Simon’s books.

    (Mind you, I’m not sure *why* he looks so happy. Maybe he’s sure he’s going to defeat his barechested twin with the huge sword, or maybe they’re just going to strike stupid poses together for a photo op.)

    (ew, now I’m visualizing Cameron and Brown doing this. NO NO NO)

  6. Sigmund Freud Says:

    Sometimes a sword is just a sword.

  7. e.lee Says:

    Auditions for Duran Duran’s ‘Wild Boys’ video? *That way….* (25 years too late)

  8. CSA Says:

    @Nix, i’d be more interested in politics if it were “an epic adventure in the tradition of Star Wars”. Brown is cast as Darth Vader, i hope he turns out to be Camerons father… Cameron will also be pretty shocked if his wife turns out to be his sister.

    … they should have more space battles and laser fights in general, bring back the disinterested youth to politics.

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    Not a sword. Clearly a lava lamp.

  10. Nix Says:

    Simon strikes me as a perfect commenter for this site, actually. Someone should drop him a line…

  11. SI Says:

    Yea where is our Simon these days? He might be busy with something we internet people call…. real life…. 😉

  12. SI Says:

    Actually, now I see you probably meant Simon Green… which would make more sense! haha

    Most of his covers aren’t actually bad at all. I was surprised when we found this one.

  13. Wolf Says:

    Oh too funny. The husband is reading that series. LOL

  14. SI Says:

    Wolf> With that picture… maybe you need to question the hubby on what’s inside the books 😉

  15. Jo Says:

    Terrible cover but an enjoyable book! The cover art depictions of Owen Deathstalker (who I guess is the subject here) were always so far away from how I imagined him. Come on, he’s an historian/aristo/reluctant heir to a warrior legacy – does that scream GUY WITH A MOHAWK AND LEATHER PANTS to you? Nah. Surely not.

  16. Tigerwolf Says:

    “Dude, Wez called. He wants his mohawk back.”


  17. LP Says:

    The guy in the background looks like he’s thinking what I’m thinking, which is: “There is no WAY that guy ever dates my sister”

  18. Melissa Says:

    He looks a bit constipated…

  19. Peter Mennim Says:

    Im of course devastated by the criticism! I considered this to be one of my finest artworks. Clearly only those of an intellectual bent would be draw to this series of novels so its astonishing that your aesthetic sensibilities are so retarded. I myself modeled for the main figure and as you can see Im a big boy. Just be careful or Ill come and whack you with my unsheathed blade!
    The artist

  20. SI Says:

    And with such constructive criticism, it’s hard not to take it directly to heart!

    Oh if you do turn up to whack us with your blade, can you wear the costume! I know some women who’d pay good money for that! 😉

    Welcome to GSS Peter!

  21. M Harris Says:

    Just for the record, Peter went on to illustrate many famous film posters in the 1980’s – 90’s… but he’s still wearing that viking outfit….

  22. Nix Says:

    Your, uh, unsheathed blade. Yeeees. Freud called, he wants his innuendo back.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Deathstalker… Try that word on for size.

    “Who are you, stranger?”
    “I’m Deathstalker Podznofski.”

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    This is clearly JUST LIKE Star Wars because……


  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    An epic adventure in the tradition of STAR WARS — cardboard characters, giant plot holes, sword fights that drag on forever, and dialogue that makes you cringe!

  26. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “I see your schwartz is as big as mine.”

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